Feminism

What is feminism?

feminist
[fem-uh-nist]
noun

  1. one who believes all people should be respected and have equal rights regardless of their sex or gender orientation
  2. one who respects and fights for the rights of women
  3. one who sees femininity in all people not as a weakness, but as a strength 
On top of being a raging vegan, I also get a lot of flack for being a bit of a raging feminist. I was raised by two women - my mother was in a relationship with a woman for about 12 years - and while my relationship with my step-mother was far from healthy (something about which I am not quite ready to share on the internet), I did learn that the gender binary that links femininity and masculinity to physical, bodily attributes - i.e. Genitals - is a cultural invention. Women and men alike can be both feminine and masculine, and I among others have found that men and women alike who are "too" feminine are less respected  than those who have more culturally masculine attributes.

Like most people who identify as women when I was growing up I was  mocked for throwing, running, and crying like a girl - as though some how this was inherently insulting. I never  understood this because both of my primary caregivers were girls and neither of them was particularly feminine. They were both strong - both mentally and physically - women, who most certainly did  not throw "like girls". As I got older I began to experiment with my identity; I dated both boys and girls, some of whom did not adhere to gender norms, and others who did, and I myself experimented with the more gendered attributes of my outward appearance - I shaved my head, got dreadlocks, wore baggy pants and refused to wear bras. I sometime wore a lot of make-up, and at other times I wore none and dressed "like a boy". I made friends with trans and gender queer people who struggled with what society told them they had to look and act like. 

By the time I went to university I had decided that I was comfortable with my identity as a woman, but I was still not comfortable with the box that this apparently trapped me in. I spoke at a couple conferences in my undergraduate career, one of which focused on women as peacemakers, and another that focused on women and poverty,  both headed by strong, feminist female academics. What troubled me about this approach to feminism was that it was not nuanced enough; it didn't address the fact that feminism is not just about women - it's about femininity. 

My approach to feminism is one that respects all people and their expressions of femininity. When my nephew wants to play with Barbies, and when my niece wants to read Spider-Man comics, I don't want them to feel discouraged because these things don't line up with their prescribed genders. When my own children come into this world, if they don't feel particularly male or female, I don't want them to have to struggle to find a bathroom in which they aren't harassed. I want us to live in a  world that gives a shit about everyone. That is what feminism  is all about for me. 

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