Thursday, November 17, 2016

Lefty humour

I have a class with an older white male professor who casually uses the word 'retarded' to describe ridiculous situations. I'm not sure why he uses this language, but it seems flippant, and without thought.

Often people on the left - particularly in academia - think that their humour, their irony, and their lack of concern with politically correct language is subversive. Perhaps this is because in academic circles it often is. Language is a powerful tool in both academia and the social realm but its specific uses have very different implications in these two worlds.

Words like genderfuck, land rape, sissy-boy ...etc disrupt dominant discourses in academia by make the reader purposefully uneasy. In a non-academic context, however, they can trigger deep emotional reactions, and can even give people the opposite reaction. This language can reaffirm the status quo.

This is a similar problem to the humour/comedy issue, with which I am sure you're acquainted. We've all been there... we're watching a comedy special on television and the comedian does impressions of people from diverse cultural/ethnic backgrounds. His impressions (because, let's be honest, it is normally a man) usually draw on problematic stereotypes. And here we are, white, middle (ish) class folks, laughing our asses off. We laugh because first, we are uncomfortable, second, we know that these stereotypes are false, and third, because we see the comedian drawing attention not only to the stereotypes, but highlighting how regular people often don't question the implications of these stereotypes. When a comedian says something outrageous about women, I am often laughing along. But now and then, the statements become more nuanced, less outrageous, less discernible from a real statement of the comedian's beliefs, and that is when I, and others like me, get uncomfortable.

The problem is that in every day conversations, most jokes of this nature is more nuanced, and less discernible from the teller's true beliefs. We are not being subversive by telling our wives that they belong in the kitchen, and we are not be subversive by drawing attention to our Jewish friends' noses or spending habits, and we are not being subversive by comparing a Black athlete to a gorilla. We are being sexist, xenophobic, and racist. This does not mean that we believe the things we are saying. It's just that our jokes are indiscernible from our actual beliefs.

On the other hand, if my husband tells me he wants me barefoot, pregnant, and scrubbing the floor on all fours, while breastfeeding and forfeiting my right to vote, I know that he is joking. But it is only in the context of our actual lives, in our own home, between the two of us, that this joke is understood as a joke. Online, where the world can see this 'joke' and does not understand the context in which it was originally spoken.

So, when my professor uses the word retarded to describe a frustrating or difficult concept, because I do not know him personally, this is problematic. When my neighbor calls the gay boy down the street a sissy boy in jest, because I do not know him personalty, I assume that he is saying it not in the subversive, empowering way that some queer folk may use the term, but rather I assume he is being deprecating.

And I hope that others on the left (or near the left) come to understand that just because you  meant it  in a certain way, does not mean that it is perceived in that way.

Here is an anecdote for you:

When VOMD and I were first dating I once told him to get the fuck out of my kitchen. I was clearly saying it jokingly, but it was clear only to me. We ended up having an argument, during which I came to realize that because we did not know each other well, and because of our own emotional baggage, this dismissive, abrasive language was taken as aggression, rather than a joke. I defended myself at first, and I continue to do it in this relationship. When I say something in jest that hurts VOMD's feelings, or makes him angry, I say "sorry, but I was just joking". What I should say is "sorry, that joke was not funny, and I should remember to take your feelings into consideration when I am speaking to you."

The lesson to be learned from my experience, within the intimacy of my marriage, is that when speaking with a complete stranger, "I was just joking" is not an excuse to hurt someone's feelings.

There are ways to fight for social justice without insulting already disenfranchised folks. Why is it that so few comedians do impressions of upper/middle class white folks? Where are all the jokes about WASP men? Why is your Black/Jewish/Woman joke the only way that you feel you can draw attention to racism and gender inequality?

Stop defending your poor use of language against the people that this language hurts.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

The politics of fear; and harnessing fear in the fight against Trump (and racist, sexist patriarchy, more generally)

I don't know who said it, but there is a popular (ish) saying that goes: "Fear is a powerful motivator."

This is very clearly the case. Fear motivates us to hold our children, family, and friends close. It motivates us to save our money for a rainy day, to give our animal and human family members vaccinations to protect them from diseases...

But it can also motivate more dangerous emotions. When faced with someone or something that we do not understand we often immediately fear...and when we are unable to get beyond our fear to a proper understanding of the other, we are lead to hate. Fear can make us to hate. And hate is terrifyingly more powerful than fear.

I'm not saying that we should not hate. There are many things - mostly ideas or actions - that we should continue to hate. I hate racism, sexism, Islamaphobia, speciesism, violence, gender norms, homophobia...

In my fear for those who are victimized by Trump and his supporters, I became angry and hateful towards all those who voted for Trump, or who supported the Conservative party in Canada's most recent election.  In my anger I decided to hate...not just ideas, and actions...but people..often ignorant, uneducated people who may not understand the implications of their support for Trump of Harper. During the past week I have seen others take this turn. The world that I know has erupted into a mess of shit slinging in all directions, from the left and the right. People are terrified, and the mass media and social media are allowing for this fear to descend into anger, resentment, and violence (verbal and physical) in a way that I have never experienced. I was too young to give a shit when Al Gore lost to GW Bush, but I know that there was probably similar outrage.

And some of us are hurting each other, and losing sight of the big picture in our terror.

This past week I have seen images depicting violence against visible minorities and women in the name of Donald Trump. I have seen young people cry trying to understand why our world is such a shitty place.

I can imagine that this week is just the beginning. Judging by my conversations with friends, family, and strangers, the fear is very real. And very powerful.

But it is not entirely unproductive.

Women across North America are organizing and harnessing their terror and demonstrating against the the fear turned hate of the radical right. Sons and daughters of immigrants are joining together with queer and trans folks to take a stand against the violence being perpetrated against them. Where the radical white right wing fear of the other has led them to hate those who they see as invaders, the invaders - feminists, people from diverse backgrounds, LGBTQ+++ folks - are taking an opposing, though not opposite approach. They/we fear the hate, and as such we hate the hate, and we are harnessing our collective otherness to fight it.

How are we/can we continue to do this? How can you get involved?

Consider these options (some of these are taken from a Facebook post by some women on the left who are committed to the fight against Trump):

1) Donate to the following organizations:
American Civil Liberties Union
https://www.aclu.org/
Sea Sheppherd
20 Feminist Organizations
http://www.diversitybestpractices.com/…/20-womens-organizat…
2) Learn how to practice compassion and model it for your kids
http://ccare.stanford.edu/…/about…/why-cultivate-compassion/
3) Write An Op-Ed For Your Local Newspaper
http://newsoffice.duke.edu/duke_resources/oped.html <--- teaches you HOW to write an Op-Ed
4) Have an impact on the economy by boycotting big businesses, and in particular those owned by Trump and his buddies.
5) It might sound vague, but 
CHOOSE LOVE; 
CHOOSE COMPASSION; 
CHOOSE PEACE; 
CHOOSE TO ELEVATE THE VOICES OF THE MARGINALIZED;
CHOOSE TO USE WHATEVER PRIVILEGE YOU HAVE IN SERVICE OF EQUITY AND INCLUSION

In solidarity, and with love,

-J






Wednesday, November 9, 2016

The aftermath

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that we were so cocky. I'm sorry it took too long for us to take Trump seriously. I'm sorry that a sexual predator, child rapist, and woman beater is the President Elect of the United States.

I'm sorry for my queer, trans, and visible minority friends in the United States (and everywhere else). I know that many of you, and your family and friends, are in the streets right now. I am proud that you are fighting this. But I am also scared for you.

I can't do much from over here. But what I can do is take a stand with my dollars.

I will no longer purchase American made goods from which Dronald Trumpet profits.

I don't know what else to do, or to say.

Stay strong. Keep fighting. Demand change.







Tuesday, November 8, 2016

American Election 2016

Tonight we will know for sure who will run America for the next four years. I have a few thoughts on that, though they are not all entirely connected.

I suppose some of us might feel like we already know who has won. The choice is clear to us. Either a politician who supports big business and capitalist enterprises that disenfranchise the third world, and perpetuate systemic inequality in North America and beyond, or a business man who does exactly that, but is also probably a rapist and a child sex offender. If given the choice myself, I would of course stand with the victims of violence.

At the same time, it is troubling that numerous republican commentators and outspoken advocates for Mitt Romney, and George Bush before him, are now proud supporters of Hillary Clinton. It is only right that we will recognize the inhumanity of the alternative option, but is it not telling that Clinton is so far from left that the right embraces her as their candidate as well? I'm not saying vote for a third party candidate this election... Unfortunately we all know how that might end up. But I am saying that we should be concerned that both candidates in this election are essentially republican, even if one is dressed in democrat's clothing. That said, I hope that a woman beats a woman beater this time around...

But, whoever wins the election, it is clear that this year, the white, upper capitalist class, patriarchy won this year. And they keep on winning. It doesn't matter what face they wear, they have still won. And they win because every four years we become suddenly interested in politics, while the rest of the time we sit silently as rich white men make decisions that affect the whole world. This is not only true of the United States. Canada is equally implicated in this phenomenon.

There are a number of brilliant, outraged, and passionate people who continue to rage against the machine year long, term long, never ceasing. But there are too few. There are too few of us who write letters to our government, who make phone calls, who stand on the streets, who protest, who break things that need breaking and fix things that need to be fixed.

We should, perhaps, take the water protector's example and see that politics is bigger than an election. It is about the real lives of people and peoples. It is about the way that we live together, among ourselves and with the land.

I don't know what more to say.

If you are in America, and you are scared about the outcome of this election, know that, for what it's worth, I, and many others here in Canada and elsewhere in the world, stand with you.