Monday, June 29, 2015

Monday Happies: PIZZA

Happy Monday! 

In the spirit of continuing to find things to be happy about, I am about to share with you and awesome vegan pizza recipe. But first, can I please just rant for a moment? It has to do with watching television - something that I do far too often than I'd like to admit. I mean...I watch A LOT of television. It is a product of being unemployed and not having a desk to work at. I sit on the couch while working on my thesis all  day, and it is just too easy to turn on Netflix and power watch six seasons of Family Guy in one sitting. ...

The thing that gets me really riled up, though, is ease with which our culture throws around racism, sexist and speciesism. Given that the average North American probably watches about the same amount of television as I do, it sort of freaks me out that swathes of uncritical people are absorbing all this negative, bullshit information on the reg. It is presented in these seemingly innocuous ways - a funny character wearing a poncho, a joke about women being passive aggressive, the off-hand comment  about non-hunters being sissies. But even when it is done ironically, I don't think that the average television watcher gets  the irony. 

I know I can just turn off the television, and there is obviously a deeper problem here for me in terms of my obvious addiction to technology, but this doesn't take away the fact that I find myself constantly wincing, and actually just genuinely feeling like crap when I watch shows like American Dad when Stan casually murders dear, or a raccoon, or whatever he kills in whatever episode; or when I watch a show like Raising Hope, which is generally a pretty funny show, but has an entire episode where they raise and learn to love a pig, and then eat him. 

Watching crap like this kind of makes me understand why it is so hard to make the decision to go vegan, or even see veganism as a valid lifestyle choice. We are constantly told by television and other media that eating animals, degrading women, and making racist jokes are completely normal and actually not that harmful - especially if presented humorously. But humour is powerful and dangerous because behind this type of humour are messages of hate. When I see my young niece imitating television characters, or my friends' kids laughing at jokes told in racist faux Chinese accents I can't help but feel a little like a tiny ant trying to knock down a mountain of  hate.  I feel a little  hopeless. 

But, then I see some of the awesome vegans out there crusading for a better world, and I see that it really isn't all that hopeless. Media presents a skewed vision of the world in which we live, and while it has a huge  influence, it obviously doesn't ensnare us all in its shitty, hate-trap. 

So, I'm going to really work on switching off the television, and spending more time with my animal friends, and my awesome vegan boyfriend. 

Anyway, that is my little rant. And now for those Monday Happies I promised! I know that I shared a recipe already on Friday, but I had to share this  one too, and what is better than pizza to chase those Monday blues away? 

VOMD and I don't eat pizza very often. There is a Pita Pizza down the street that makes this awesome vegan falafel pizza, but other than that, we tend to go for sushi or Indian food before we go for  pizza. But  I had a huge craving last week and didn't really feel like spending money, so I decided to work with what we had at home. This is what I came up with!

The dough recipe I use is exactly the same as the one I learned from my mom's partner when I was a kid,  with a few minor changes. First, I use mostly whole wheat flour; second, I used maple syrup instead of sugar;  and third, its all about the pizza stone! 

 It's a pretty simple recipe. You should grab 2 big mixing bowls before you begin.

Ingredients:
2  cups of whole wheat flour
1 2/3 cup  of white flour
1/4 tsp salt
11/2 cups of VERY warm water (NOT HOT)
1 tsp maple  syrup
1 tbsp of active dry yeast
2 tbsp olive oil

You start by prepping your yeast. Put  the yeast in a large bowl and stir in maple syrop and warm water. Stir lightly and let sit until it gets all foamy on top. While the yeast is doing it's thing mix the whole wheat flour, salt, and  1 1/3 cups of white flour together (save 1/3 for later).

Once the yeast mixture is foamy, start adding the dry ingredients, and the oil, to the wet and once it gets too thick to stir, get your hands in there.


Once it is all combine, turn the dough onto a floured surface (floured with that extra 1/3 of white flour we set aside earlier). Kneed the dough for about 8-10 minutes until you have a nice stretchy firm ball and you can see some little puffs beneath the surface. Place in an oiled bowl, ans swish around until the ball of dough is coated. This will stop it from sticking. Cover with a clean, lightly dampened cloth in a warm place (like by a sun-lit window in the summer, or in an oven with the light on in winter). Let it rise until double it's size (about an hour or so).

Once risen, punch it down and break into 2 pieces. Kneed very lightly and form 2 balls. Cover lightly with that damp towel again and let rise until these pieces are doubled.

While that is rising(which should take about 40-45 minutes) you should start preheating your oven  if you are using a pizza stone. If not, wait a bit to conserve energy.

AND while the oven is heating up, start making your sauce.
Bruschetta Style Pizza Sauce (you will have leftovers, so plan to have bruschetta bread tomorrow! Just add a little olive oil, some chopped parsley, and a little splash of red wine vinegar to brighten it up)
Ingredients:
1 large onion, quartered
5 cloves or garlic (or  more or less, depending on your taste
1 large can of diced tomatoes (unsalted)
1 palm full of basil
1 hand full  of nutritional yeast
A dash of salt and pepper to taste

Put  the onion and garlic in the food processor and pulse until finely diced. Then add all other ingredients. Process until saucy (see picture).

Set that sauce aside and start chopping veggies and shredding your vegan cheese, if you want that. We  used tomatoes, mushrooms, zucchini and red peppers. Leggo was supervising. I find I always cook best under her watchful eye. Once the dough is risen,  roll it out until its as thin as you like (VOMD likes thin, crunchy crust, so I make it really thin, about 1/3 inch) And lay on a pan with parchment paper. If you don't want the sauce soaking into the crust, brush the crust lightly with olive oil before putting anything on it. Then, sauce it  up, lay out your veggies and toss some cheese or nutritional yeast on top. We put nutritional yeast on one  and Vegan Gourmet mozzarella cheese on the other.

Then pop those suckers in the oven. After about 3  or four minutes, the pizza will be firmed up enough to slide it off the pan (using the parchment paper) and then pull the paper out so it is resting on your pizza stone. DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT A STONE. It will be messy. Duh.


Let it cook for between 12-18 minutes (it depends on how your oven works, whether you have a stone, and how crusty you like it)

Then consume! My camera battery died before I could take the final pictures, so the last ones there are taken with my phone. Deal with it.

Happy vegan pizza eating!


-J

Friday, June 26, 2015

Friday Foodie: Mushrooms, Taters, Carrots and Cauliflower

Good Morning!

Let me preface this post by saying that I am obviously not a food blogger, nor am I a very good photographer. I'm trying to work on that because VOMD bought me a pretty awesome camera and I want to put it to good use, but I think that I might just not have the  eye for photography. Maybe I need to get a photo editing program or something. If you have any suggestions, please share! Nonetheless, I wanted to start sharing some of the delicious vegan food that we eat around here.

So, I thought I would start sharing at least one meal/recipe a week to show the amazing yummies that VOMD and I eat. One of our dinners this week was a take on your standard 'meat' and potatoes meal, but with an obvious twist. It's not the prettiest,  but it is soooooo good.

Stuffed Portabello Mushrooms, Creamy Mashed Taters, BBQ Cauliflower 'Steak' and Maple Braised Carrots!

Also, portion control is for chumps. 

Here's how you do it: WARNING I like to wing it, so when it comes to measurements, sometimes things get a bit  weird. Just go with it.

Hummus Stuffed Portabello Mushrooms
Ingredients 
2 large portabello mushrooms (get ones with big stems)
1/4 cup (or just like...a couple scoops) home made garlic hummus (I'll post that recipe some  time, but you can just used store bought...or wing it)
1 medium onion,  diced
1 handful (or so) nutritional yeast
A dash of organic basil (it just tastes better)
Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Diced the stems of the  portabellos and fry the heck out  of them and the onions in a cast iron pan. Cast iron is the shit because if properly seasoned (google  that)  it is naturally non-stick. Also,  cast iron pans will stay usable for the rest of your life, and  beyond! Then add  the basil, salt and pepper.  Add the hummus and nutritional yeast and mix up. Then, scoop that  crap onto your mushrooms (smooth side  down, of course) and place on an oven-safe pan. If you  want the top super crispy, mix some crushed organic corn flakes with nutritional yeast, garlic  powder, and a little bit of salt, and put on top.  Bake for about 15 minutes (or longer, depending on the size of your mushrooms). They should be tender and juicy when ready.

Creamy Mashed Potatoes 
Ingredients (makes 2 huge servings with some leftovers for breakfast)
About 8 medium sized white potatoes, peeled and cut into cubes (about 4 cups all cut up?) (it really depends on the size you have) 
2 scoops of vegan mayonnaise (we use Vegenaise in this house, but  use your favourite) 
A splash of unsweetened almond milk (or  whatever milk alternative  you like)
Garlic powder to taste
Salt and pepper to taste

Boil potatoes until a fork slides through  easily. Drain water (you can use this for soup or gravy, if you're doing that, so don't waste it if you  don't need to). Add vegenaise and almond milk and mash it all to hell with a masher. If you have a hand mixer you  can use  that too, but don't mix too much or it will get all gluey.  Nobody likes gluey taters. Stir in salt,  pepper and garlic powder to taste. I like mine really peppery, but go with your own taste buds. To make  them super awesome, put them in a cast iron pan or other over safe dish and broil in the oven for a few minutes until the top is golden and beautiful like the ones above!  

BBQ Cauliflower "Steak"
Ingredients

1 head of cauliflower (you're not going to use  it all, but start with a whole one  to get the best "steaks")
Your favourite BBQ sauce (I'll share my recipe some time, but  for now, go with what you like best)
A little olive oil 
A little sriracha sauce (to give it a little extra kick) 
Salt and pepper to taste (if your BBQ sauce is missing a little)

Preheat oven 400 degrees (you're already doing this for the mushrooms anyway, right?). Slice cauliflower into thick slices, through the core  so taht you end  up with three or four slabs. You will have some extras that break off and aren't "steaky", so put that back in the fridge or throw it into a bag in the freezer to make soup or something like that. Put a little oil on a pan  and place those suckers on the oil. Wiggle them around a bit, and flip so that both sides are a little oily. Slather as much BBQ sauce as you want on them (I don't use a ton, but it's  really up to you) and then, if you want, squirt some lines of sriracha on there too. Sprinkle a pinch of pepper on each,  and maybe some salt, and throw in the oven for about 15-20 minutes (depending on the size). They should be forkable when done, but not mushy.  

Cheaters Maple Braised Carrots (its cheating because its not actually braised)
Ingredients
About 3 large carrots, sliced into "dollars" (about 2 cups...or something)
A glug of maple syrup (maybe three tablespoons)
A little (or big) scoop of vegan butter substitute (like  vegan Becel, or Earth Balance). I only use about a table spoon. 
Salt and pepper  to taste
A sprig of Rosemary 

Boil carrots until just slightly forkable. Drain the water (or use for that  soup you're planning) and  put back into the still hot pot on the still on element. Add syrup, vegan butter, Rosemary and a little salt and pepper, stir, and let bubble a bit until really forkable. Then serve! (you can put  that used rosemary sprig in your soup base too, if you want!)

Ta da!

Happy Friday!

-J

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Being Vegan is more fun with friends! (Vegan Resources)

Good Morning Herbivores (and everyone else),

Sometimes it is hard to be vegan. The choice  to not consume non-human animals and products made from their fluids is one that none of us take lightly. If you are the only one of your friends, or the only in your family who has made  the decision to be vegan, being vegan can get incredibly lonely. And even when you do have a decent support  group of fellow vegans and family members who share your lifestyle (or at least support you in your lifestyle choice) being vegan can be a marginalizing. Honestly, begin vegan is  just more fun with friends! I can't tell you how much I have struggled with being vegan, especially when I was dating a carnist! But now, with VOMD, things are amazing. I'm not trying to brag or  anything, but having a boyfriend that not only gets it but lives it is AMAZING!

Here are some resources that you might find helpful on your journey.

If you are feeling down and want to get away from it all and surround yourself with amazing animal friends and like minded humans for a while, check out Piebird Vegan Farm Sactuary and FarmStay: www.piebird.ca

If you want to learn about how to become a vegan, check out The Vegan Starter Kit: www.vegankit.com/be It's a super helpful little place to learn the basics of going vegan (and why it is so important to do so).

If you want a little cheering up, check out this new page on Facebook (created by my sister  and one of her best friends!) called Dear Vegans: www.facebook.com/DearVegans

This is a new page, but it is seriously adorable, and just makes you feel good about your choices. Sometimes as vegans we need to be reminded that we are literally saving the world. You're all superheroes! And seriously, isn't her art just cute as all damn hell?

facebook.com/DearVegans


If you prefer to consume knowledge in video form, check out the Bite Sized Vegan or The Vegan Zombie on youtube. One will give you knowledge, the other will give you yummies.

If you live in the GTA, check out the Toronto Vegetarian Association  website to  find veggie resources in the  area including restaurants, events and more: www.veg.ca

If you're a struggling vegan  in the GTA, visit the Toronto Vegetarian Food Bankwww.tvfb.ca

Its easy to be vegan if your  surround yourself with the right type of people and take advantage of the resources that are available to you. If all else fails, convert a friend! ...the trick is to tell them its going to make them skinny and then BAM they're saving animals and don't even know it.


It's also super easy when you have cute bunnies around! Here's Tobi discovering her new toy. Look at that face! How could you hurt anything so f#cking precious?


Good luck on your journey, Herbivores!

Happy Thursday!

-J

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Books for people who give a shit about animals Part 1: Zoopolis

Good Morning! 

So, even though I am supposed to be working on my thesis, and all my time is meant to be earmarked for reading things like Queering Bathrooms and The Location of Culture I just can't stop myself from opening up some of my old faithfuls now and again. There is nothing better to do in the morning than brew a fresh pot of coffee and sit back with a thought provoking book - something to really get those brain juices flowing. 





If you're looking for a book that will get you thinking (and will probably strike up some epic debates in your household), read Zoopolis. It's written by Sue Donaldson and Will Kymlicka. Will Kymlicka is an amazing Canadian political philosopher out of Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, and while I am not on board with everything in this book, it presents animal rights, and animal issues in a whole new, politically important light. Rather than appealing only the mushy mushy stuff that a lot of ethical animal theory does, this book calls on us to view animals in three interesting new ways: domesticated animals as citizens; wild animals as sovereign; and liminal animals as denizens (pigeons, squirrels etc.). This would change A LOT. It would mean that domestic animals would have the right to share in public spaces, and it would also meant that harming a domestic animal would result in criminal charges, as with any other citizen, while wild animals would be allowed to live our their sovereignty - Sovereignty being  “a form of protection against external threats of annihilation, exploitation, or assimilation". Meanwhile liminal animals like squirrels and so forth that are normally seen as pests, would be given the right to live among up, rather than being subjected to mass extermination campaigns.

They present some damn good arguments against animal abuse and subjugation,  but what is really great about this book is the completely unique way that they understand animal life as politically important. Traditional Animal Rights Theory tends to ignore liminal animals altogether, and to advocate for the "live and let live" approach to wild animals. As for domestic animals, traditional ART tends to advocate for an approach to domestic animals that would lead to the annihilation of domestic species altogether in the long run. Donaldson and Kymlicka, on the other hand, are not your standard "Spay and Neuter Your Pets"  cheerleaders. Rather, they claim that these people do not take "seriously the legitimate interests of domesticated animals” by forcing them “not to reproduce." This is something that I had previously never considered, as a strong advocate for spaying and neutering my animal friends so that they do not have to go through the pains associated with bearing children and  raising them in the wild were they to run away and become pregnant. In the case of my rabbit friends, spaying was the healthy option for an animal that is at a high risk for uterine cancer if unbred after a certain age. They encourage readers to "experiment and learn about what animals would do if given greater control over their lives", an experiment that I am hesitant to start,  for fear of the ethical implications. But perhaps they are right that the domination and paternalistic attitude we have towards non-human reproduction is deeply problematic. When it comes down to it,  I am now not sure where  I stand on the spay and neuter issue.  As a  piece of socially directed political theory, this work has done its job - I predict a tonne of excellent debates in vegan circles over this issue stemming from Donaldson and Kymlicka's work in this book.

If you  give  a shit about animals, then this book will definitely give you something to think  about. If you don't  want to take this too seriously, and just came here to see a cute animal picture, here's one of George sitting like a person.



Happy Wednesday!

-J

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A weekend full of free fun and waterfalls!

Hey!

So, I completely forgot to share the amazingness of this past weekend. We aren't exactly weathly, but this doesnt mean we don't go on awesome adventures. This summer we are taking it upon ourselves to find as many free fun things to do in  the city and surrounding areas. On the 13th we went to Veggie Fest Hamilton (last year we - VOMD and I - went to Veggie Fest as our first trip together, so it was nostalgic and romantic), and this weekend we decided to spend all out time outside. VOMD and I went to Tews Falls on Saturday and hiked down a precarious mountain to get to the bottom. There were ropes, so it wasn't really too scary, but  I will say that my choice of footwear was ill conceived. Don't climb a cliff in flip flops. You will hurt yourself.

Here's the view from the top! It's so beautiful. VOMD says it reminds him of a tiny Angel Falls. Hamilton is known as the Waterfall City. There are more than 100 waterfalls in Hamilton and the surrounding areas. Our goal is to see as many as we can this summer.

Tews falls are 41 metres tall and are the tallest falls in the area. A bunch of teenagers were wading in the waterat the top and I couldn't help but picture  how horrifying it would be if one of them slipped.

This is the view from the lookout. We heard a girl talking about how the last time she had visited there were people at the bottom, so obviously we had to go exploring. 
To get to the bottom we hiked down this steep cliff, but luckily were not the first to do it, as there are ropes to help you get there. Climbing back up is the hard part. By the time I got to the top I was out of breath, and my leg muscles were definitely sore the next day.


VOMD took these pictures for scale. The falls are actually pretty damn tall. You feel like you're in Rivendale when you're standing in the gorge. It's so beautiful. (Yes, I'm a huge nerd.)


 My insanely handsome VOMD and I, resting before hiking back up the cliff. (VOMD just cut his beard off, and I'm very sad about it. it was so epic. He assures  me it will only take a month or two to get back  to its previous awesomeness.)

Saturday night we went to The Sound of Music Festival in Burlington. The festival ran for a week, and the weekend prior bands like  OLP  and Weezer played ticketed shows so that this past weekend could be free! So, we saw David Wilcox play for free! Damn this dude can still rip. He played "Bad Apple" and "Riverboat Fantasy" and almost everyone in the crown was singing along. We were pretty close to the stage, but all of these pictures (the above  included) were taken with our phones, so the quality sucks.

Sunday we went hiking at Tiffany Falls, but that was a bit of an ordeal  and I ended up sliding down a bit of a cliff and badly bruising my ankle. No permanent damage was done, but I don't have any photos to share from the event, unless you  want to see a picture of my gross, swollen ankle.

In spite of this, all in all, our free adventure-ful weekend was a complete success! We  topped it off with Sweets from the Earth Cheese Cake (mmmm, Canadian Made vegan cheese cake!) and Coconut  Bliss Ice Cream.

Happy Tuesday!

-J

Monday, June 22, 2015

Monday Happies

I hate complaining about my life. I often feel like my problems are completely trivial compared to the problems of so many other people in the world, so worrying about my crap, and stressing over my little problems feels, well, kind of stupid. But then when I listen to my mother - raise your hands if you have the best mom in the world (you  can't...because I do) - or my friend talk about their problems, I don't think that they are trivial, even if they are the same things that I feel silly worrying about. Isn't that strange?

Anyway, I try to pay attention, as much as possible,  to the great things in my life, like my awesome boyfriend VOMD, my family, and my animal friends. 

So, here are just some happies that made me happy recently.

True love<3

Princess George likes to pose for pictures.  

Long walks on overcast days. The weather has been all over the place lately, but I never
miss a chance to go outside. ...for all you who say Hamilton is too industrial...riiiiggghhht. 

 VOMD went to The Cannon on Ottawa and Connon here in Hamilton a couple of weeks ago. They have vegan waffle battler and make these unreal sandwiches with waffles instead of bread. OH MY GOD are they good.  We both ordered the 'Merican sandwich vegan style (ie. no cheese with vegan waffles).
VOMD is insanely handsome.

Pretty, I know. 
So, even though I'm stressed about a whole bunch of little things, I also have a whole lot of little things to be incredibly happy about.

Happy Monday! 

-J

Friday, June 19, 2015

Responses to Questions from Non-Vegans

As a vegan you get asked so many questions about your lifestyle. Some are genuine. Some serious, some way too invasive, and others are just plain stupid.

Inspired by my sister's sassy, sarcastic, and mostly just smart responses to stupid comments from non-vegans (read it here!), I have decided to share some from my own experience.

Q:  How do you live off of just vegetables?

A: I know it's  super confusing that the words vegetarian and vegan have the same root word as vegetable, but  this does not  mean that all I do  is eat carrots and celery all day. I eat a well-balanced  diet full of vegetables, fruits, seeds, nuts, beans, grains, herbs, and more.

Q: Why is all vegan food so weird?

A: I have literally seen meat eaters consume pig ears, deep friend pig skin, intestines (sausages anyone?), blood pudding, and fish ovum. Yuck. So, I'm sorry if my faux meat made of wheat protein and blended chickpeas sounds "weird" to you.

Q:  Is that why you're so skinny? (yeah, stole this one...but c'mon)

A: First, my BMI is in the healthy range and I have had the same body type since I was 17 years old when my ass started filling out and my boobs stopped growing. Second, I am not even a little bit skinny. My hip measurement is 41 inches. If your ass were as big as mine the last thing you would refer to yourself as would be skinny.  Not being overweight like the average Westerner does not mean I'm skinny. It means I'm at a significantly reduced risk for diabetes and heart disease.

Q: Why don't you stop eating plants too?  Their technically alive, aren't they?

A: Yes, they are alive. But when you show me a plant that cries when you take it's babies away, who run from its assailants, and who bleeds when you shoot it with one of those shitty but apparently 'humane' nail guns that are used to slaughter cows, then I promise I won't eat that plant, okay?

Q:  Isn't it hard to not eat meat?

A: Is it hard for you to not jump off a bridge!? But seriously, is it hard for you to not eat your couch? It is super difficult for you to stop yourself from going to town on that delicious, scrumptious little morsel you leave in your damn toilet bowl every morning? Believe it or not, I don't find animal products remotely appealing. The smell of bacon doesn't make my mouth water; it makes me gag. And watching someone chow down on a bowl of chocolate iced cream, or drinking a glass of whole milk, or slicing up a big chunk of cheese does not make me want to take it from them and shove it into my face. it makes me want to show them pictures of where that shit  came from and watch them try to keep it down when they see the amount of puss and blood that is in every single one of those products. And furthermore, I am not a f*cking child and have developed the tiniest amount of this  thing called self control. It's  the same thing that stops  me from slapping you in the face when you ask me this stupid question. So, even if I did find that crap remotely appealing, I have the presence of mind to not turn into a complete psycho and consume every piece of meat in sight.

Q: So, do you swallow?

A: I hate  you. You're disgusting. Go away.

Q: Do you feed your cat meat?

A: Yes. I DO feed my carnivorous animal companions animal products. Yes, It breaks my  heart. Yes, I gag every single time I open one of those cans of blended, nasty, gooey flesh. No, I don't think this makes me a bad vegan; it makes me a good cat caregiver. If there was a healthy alternative for my animal friends, then I would choose that option instead, but I care about the health of all animals and sadly this requires some sacrifice on my part.

Q: Why are you such a picky eater?

A: I literally am willing to consume every single things on the planet that is actually food. You will NEVER hear me complain about a vegan meal, even if it is made of (gag) eggplant or (gag more) chickpea flour. Animals, like rocks, or babies, or fibreglass, or picture frames, are not food. On the other hand, I know numerous meat eaters who won't eat almost any vegetables, or bread that isn't made  of bleached-beyond-recognition white flour, and who have kids who refuse to eat anything except hot dogs on white buns with ketchup.  Yet, in spite of this,  I'm picky. 


Q: Did you know that chickens lay eggs even if you don't eat them? Isn't  that a waste.

A: I also ovulate regularly, and I've just been flushing  my ovum down the toilet every month. Would you like me to save my periods for you? No? That's not the same thing? Yes it is. Suck a lemon.

Q: Why do you still eat honey if you're a vegan?

A: First, why do you still wear pants if you're a woman? See how shitty it is to be asked stupid, demeaning questions? Second, I only eat locally produced honey from apiaries that are as cruelty free as possible (yes, I have visited the farm from which I buy my honey). I don't, though, eat sugar that is produced using bone char, buy anything made of silk, and I don't wear wool. I'm pretty sure on the scale of completely vegan to psychotic serial animal murderer, I'm closer to vegan. So, forgive me for not specifying that I am completely vegan except  for this one thing that I do that not all vegans agree with. I will also say, that of the vegans I have met since becoming vegan myself in 2011, only about three of 500 refuse  to eat honey; and even those three didn't ask me why I call myself vegan but still eat honey.

Q: I could NEVER be vegan. (OK, this isn't really a question.)

A: First, I really don't care whether or not you could ever be vegan. Did I tell you that you have to be? No. No I did not. (But let's be honest, you should be). Second, yes you really, really could.



That's it (well...not really it but that's all I can bare to share without pulling my hair out).

On another note, here's a super cute picture of my friend Lego. She's kind of amazing, even though she eats everything in sight and hates having her nails cut.



Happy Friday!

-J

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

My amazing vegan sister's smartass responses to questions from Non-Vegans

So, it's been a million years again, since I have posted here. I've been very busy working on my thesis and searching for a part time job (with no luck, which is really beginning to grind my gears).

Anyhow, because I am lazy and can't bring myself to write anything worth reading, I'm borrowing someone else's awesomeness. My insanely awesome and wacky hippie sister is also a vegan. Living with a family that consumes more than the average amount of  grilled beef, I cannot explain to you the amount of joy it brings me to have a sister who completely understands and adheres to a vegan lifestyle.
-- Side note: we both became vegan around the same time...without having spoken to one another in months! We have always been weirdly on the same wavelength. --

She recently posted this to Facebook and I asked if I could share it here.

If you're vegan, hopefully this will be helpful to you. If you're not vegan, hopefully this will help you to get your damn shit together.

Anyone who has been vegan for more than a day knows that the simple act of being vegan seems to piss people off, leaving you subject to a barrage of stupid questions, glorious hypotheticals, and “hilarious” jokes. So, as much as everyone who asks me these questions would love to believe that they are the first to throw some fact about protein or question about a desert island in my face, I have sadly been answering these questions for 4 years now and have developed a wide array of responses to them. Below are the various ways in which I deal with people who think that they have thought more about veganism than I have. Some answers are serious, some are sassy, and it all depends who is asking.

Where do you get your protein?

1. Where do you get your vitamin k?
2. How about this: you don't ask me about my protein, I won't ask you about your cholesterol.
3. Which amino acids do you think are missing from my diet?
4. Protein is in everything. Even lettuce is 33% protein.
5. Peas, quinoa, nuts, beans, chickpeas, tempeh, tofu, edamame, leafy greens, broccoli, hemp, chia seeds, sesame seeds, poppy seeds,sunflower seeds, seitan (delicous seitan....), every non-dairy milk ever, and any soy product or veggie meat you have ever seen.
6. "If a varied diet sufficient in calories is consumed, it's virtually impossible to get an inadequate protein intake." - Dr. T Colin Campbell, co-author of The China Study.

What if you were stranded on a desert island and all there was to eat were the animals. Would you eat them then?

1. What if you lived in civilization and had an array of delicious cruelty-free foods to choose from; would you still support animal slaughter?
2. It's 2015 and I live in Canada, I am obviously not going to be stranded on a desert island.
3. If you're trying to gauge at what point an animal's life becomes less worthy than my own, I could do the same thing with any appendage of yours. “What if you were rock climbing, fell, got your arm pinned under a rock, and the only way to survive was by cutting your arm off. Would you??” I would not then say something like “well there, see, it obviously doesn't mean much to you if you'd cut it off in a life or death situation, so why not just cut it off now?”

I could never do that.

1. I never get tired of hearing that.
2. I used to say the same thing – when I was 15 and thought the world was all about whatever I wanted.
3. You could very easily if you knew how many delicious substitutes there were, how much better you would feel, and if you cared at all about what the animal you're eating went through and the environmental toll your habits are taking.

God put animals here for us to eat!

1. If God sanctioned the torture that I have seen in slaughterhouse footage, that would make God a SOCIOPATH and I am not comfortable living under that kind of management.
2. Really? Because as much as it has been a LONG time since church for me, I think I remember Adam and Eve lovingly tending to the animals in the garden.
3. Isn't one of the commandments “thou shalt not kill”? And I don't think it was amended with “unless you're furry, fluffy, scaly, or don't stand upright”.
4. To quote Jamie Kilstein, God put babies here too, and he didn't exactly leave specific instructions for either.
5. There are many groups of vegan Christians that make the argument that there was no animal abuse in the garden of Eden and that veganism is a way of peace, which is what God would want. I am obviously way out of my element here, but that makes a lot more sense to me.

I had a friend that was vegan once, and he/she got really sick.

1. Really? Because I have never heard of a meat eater getting sick. Yep, heart disease,obesity, high cholesterol and colon cancer are obviously things that meat eaters never have to worry about...
2. As with any human being living in the world and making food choices, any diet you have can be healthy or unhealthy. Yes, it is harder to be unhealthy as a vegan, but Fudgee-O's, Oreos, and most potato chips are vegan, which makes them a danger to all of us!
3. I am fondly reminded of the poem Carla recited in Scrubs: “If meat is your treat, your esophageal varices will bleed into your intestines,causing you to digest your own blood, leading to a horrible, horrible death.”

But what about bacon?

1. Please go kill yourself immediately.
2. What about it?
3. If I want salty grease (which we all do) I eat something else that is salty and greasy.
4. Haven't you ever seen the movie Babe?!
5. To ignore the entirety of a moral argument for some food item that you “like”is at best like talking to a 5 year old, at worst the kind of self-serving hedonism that I watch whenever I accidentally see a clip of Fox news.

But we are animals, and animals always eat other animals. Would you tell a bear not to hunt?

1. I wouldn't ask a bear to make a moral decision because they don't have the capacity to think critically about their mass consumption of products or the kind of societal constructs that they have put in place. But for as long as you want to live in fancy houses, have a government, and be having this argument on your Mac laptop, you need to acknowledge that we are an advanced species and have moral abilities that other bears do not have.
2. Animals also eat shit, kill their young, and mount others to impregnate them willy nilly whenever they feel like it. Are these behaviours you think we should mirror? Or would you not, in those cases, argue that we are advanced enough to have laws against rape, murder, and....well, not shit eating, but you get the drift.

People are MEANT to eat meat.

1. Really? Then why do vegans live longer?
2. Really? Because the China study suggests differently.
2. We actually have herbivorous intestines and are meant to be digesting plant foods.Yes, obviously we are able digest animals, but it can lead to things like constipation at best, and colon cancer at worst. Our insistence on eating animals is putting a strain on the health care system.
4. I am always flummoxed by the use of “meant” to. As though if this were some base animal urge of ours we could never get over it. It would be like saying we are “meant” to kill one another because we get angry and exhibit violent tendencies, or saying men are “meant” to sexually dominate women. Aren't we grown up enough now as a species to get past that and start letting our heads have a bigger say than our mouths and genitals?
5. To quote Gary Yourofsky – put an apple and a bunny rabbit in a playpen with a toddler, and call me when the toddler eats the bunny and plays with the apple.
6. Then why is it that we don't find roadkill extremely appetizing and jump out of our cars to lap up the blood and chew on the intestines of that delicious dead animal? Why do we have to season and heat meat to make it appealing to us?

What about these here canine teeth?

1. Oh those things? Yeah, I use those for apples, carrots, nuts, and all of the other hard plant foods we all eat.
2. Have you ever seen a gorilla? Massive canines, massive herbivore.
3. The idea behind saying “I have the equipment, so I will obviously use it to harm others” is like saying “if I weren't meant to sexually assault women, why do I have this big ol' dong?”

Cows NEED to be milked, why do you think you're helping them by not consuming dairy?
(Yes, this was said to me)

1. Cows don't walk around in nature exploding without man's ever so helpful touch. No animal exists in conjunction with the human race,relying on us to suck out their secretions.
2. Cows are pregnant for 9 months (sound familiar?) and when they give birth they produce breast milk for their babies. THAT is the milk you are taking, the breast milk for the calf. The calf gets NONE of it (standard practice), and is either killed for veal if he is male, or held until she is able to be impregnated to go through the same thing as her mother (whom she will never meet). They are hooked up to machines, sucked dry until they are bleeding and oozing copious amounts of puss, and then killed.
3. If I ever had a baby, I would technically “need” to be milked in the same way as a cow. It would be uncomfortable to not be giving that breast milk to my baby, at least at first. Would you, ever so helpfully, throw my baby into a grinder and suckle me dry for your cheese and ice cream? Otherwise I might explode.

Don't you feel weak and tired all the time?

1. *Do some sweet air kicks and squat thrusts*.
2. The food I eat is full of the most bio-available energy. My body doesn't have to work nearly as hard to break it down. I therefore have much more energy than before.
3. You mean to suggest that after that turkey dinner of yours, or after that big sweaty steak, you think you will have more energy than me?
4. Have you ever seen a natural carnivore? An animal with short intestines that is actually meant to be eating other animals? Let's say, your cat. Or a tiger. What do they do with most of their day? Sleep! Because digesting blood and a rotting carcass takes a serious toll on the body, it is hard work for your body to break it down!

But soy has estrogen!

1. You watch too much Big Bang Theory, and I can't take you seriously.
2. It actually doesn't have estrogen, it has isoflavones, or “phyto-estrogens”, which are incredibly good for you, especially if you are male, because it bonds to testosterone and helps to ward off things like testicular or prostate cancer.
3. We don't absorb hormones from plants, we absorb hormones from animals. After eating steak and some cheese, you have just absorbed a large female animal and drank her breast milk. How much estrogen do you think you just consumed there?
4. Are you really concerned with soy and not at all concerned with all of the hormones, antibiotics, and who knows WHAT preservatives in the dead animals and animal secretions you are eating?!
5. So what? Don't eat soy. Lot's of vegans don't.
6. Vegan diets are not new – lots of religions and other cultures have been vegetarian or vegan since the dawn of time (my personal favourite, badass Pythagoras. You're welcome, math nerds). What do you think happens to these people? You can look back and just see them sprouting breasts or becoming races of non-reproductive effeminate individuals that died out, limp-wristed with shrivelled testicles? Obviously not. Jaynes, Hindus, and many other cultures that are meatless have survived perfectly well, and yes, their testicles remain untarnished by that offensive estrogen.
7. Sexual politics of meat anyone?

Oh, you're vegan,that's why you're SO skinny.

1. I don't know why people think it's okay to comment on my body and tell me that they find it unacceptable. I would never look at you and outright say “oh,you're a meat eater? That's why you're so fat, that's why your skin sags, that's why you have pimples, that's why you produce more mucus,that's why your sweat stinks like some salty chemical sludge.”
2. You're right, my veganism IS why I am at a healthy body weight with very low fat.
3. I actually weighed less as an anaemic meat eater, so there goes that theory.
4. I am actually“slender” because I pay attention to what I put into my body and because I live an active lifestyle and do aerobics for roughly an hour a day.

Why don't you care about humans/ I don't think it's right to be talking about animal rights when there are still starving children in the world.

1. You will find that people who care about animal suffering obviously also care about human suffering. Empathy doesn't occur in a vacuum, it's not like we have a finite amount to give, saying “well I care about this disenfranchised suffering group, but not that disenfranchised suffering group.”
2. That's like saying “oh, you work with the hearing impaired? Why do you not care about the visually impaired!”
3. What are you doing for starving children?Because I am choosing a sustainable food source that could help wipe out world hunger. The billions upon billions of animals that get farmed consume fresh grains and fresh water and expel a lot of waste.That means that you consume roughly ten times the acreage of land per year that I do, and even more of the fresh water while actively polluting the water and the air,the same water and air that those children you are attempting to stand up for need to live. Wouldn't you rather those fresh crops and fresh water be going to those children than into those mass produced animals we keep creating and consuming?

But we need to eat animals for population control!

1. We mass produce animals to far beyond what they would do in nature.We never worry about the population of giraffes or monkeys,because we don't eat them, and therefore we don't breed them en mass.Left alone, cows, chickens, and pigs would breed the normal amount and we wouldn't need to worry about their population. We have created an unsupportable amount of farmed animals. Have you ever looked at a factory farm? They would never breed that much themselves.
2. The population that is the most out of control is clearly our own. We seem to be the only species that doesn't self-regulate. And yet, I wouldn't suggest killing people and eating them to keep it under control. And not just because in this fucked up consumerist society we would end up over-breeding them to keep eating and wind up with 8xthe population we had before the cannibalism.

I don't care about eating meat because I don't like animals.

1. Well, most days I don't much care for humans, but I still wouldn't go out and kill them.
2. People go vegan for a wide array of reasons, not just animal ethics. Environmental reasons and health reasons are right up thereon the legitimate list of reasons why people go vegan. Ultimately, I don't think animals care why you don't kill them.
3. You don't like all animals?You're obviously a dangerous nutcase.

No, I obviously wouldn't eat my cat and dog, but farm animals are different.

1. How? In what way?
2. Can't you see that this is a fucked up ontology that we have imposed? Saying “this group is food, this group gets loved.” And it isn't based on anything – pigs are smarter than dogs, baby chicks are as cute as they come. It's just a societal construction, and one that we need to break through.
3. People have pigs, chickens, and cows as pets all the time. Go look on youtube, you'll see videos of chickens purring, cows cuddling people,and pigs joyfully trotting along behind people and going for walks with people and their dogs.
4. It scares me when people think this way – take a species and divide it up based on completely arbitrary qualities. It's like saying “this colour of people matter, this colour does not. Why? I don't know,they all think and feel the same, but that is just how it is, and that is how it always has been.”
5. Your dog and the farmed pig have the same ability to suffer. That's why there is no difference.

I am more concerned with the environment.

1. Oh really? Are you aware that not eating one small 100 gram piece of steak saves2,025 litres of fresh water? Are you aware that it takes roughly 10acres of fresh land and water to support you per year, whereas it takes 0.25 acres to support the average vegan? Are you aware that 70%of our fresh grains and fresh water is going into the animals you are eating? Are you aware that methane is almost 20x more potent as a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide is? Are you aware that the carbon footprint per week of a person eating only onemeaty meal per day is 188 metres squared? Are you aware that the shit of farmed animals is the number one cause of water pollution? Are you aware that I could drive a damn hummer and still be more of an environmentalist than you?
2. You cannot be a meat eating environmentalist. That is a wild contradiction. It would be like me being an animal lover who joyfully works in a slaughterhouse.
3. *Laugh in their face until they go away.*

But what about your leather shoes?

1. My shoes aren't leather, my shoes are actually made from sustainable hemp and a tire(true story).
2. You'd be surprised how many shoes are accidentally vegan, even shoe companies like NewBalance use man-made materials. Also, vegan shoe companies like Moo Shoes make very convincing and durable substitutes.
3. Let's say they were – so what? Perhaps these are my old shoes that I am still wearing out, shoes that I purchased as a meat eater or before I was more aware. Does that make the message I am saying any less worthwhile?
4. Ad Hominem anyone?
5. So? If I am wearing leather on my feet, does that mean I am wrong about factory farmed animals? If I can't be perfect, if my used car has leather seats, does that mean I should just say “to hell with it” and start killing animals again? That's like saying “well, you don't beat your children, but that shirt was from Wal-Mart, so you obviously support child labour and cruelty to children, so you might as well go home and beat your kids. Can't be perfect across the board? Why bother.”
6. Acknowledge that them trying to bring you down to their level will not work. People will always try to point out that you are just as bad as them, but you are actively trying to make a difference. If you have one pair of leather shoes, but they aren't doing anything for animals, who should really walk away feeling like an asshole? Obviously not you.

What about plants, don't they have feelings?

1. No. No they don't.
2. *Laugh in their face.*
3. If you are genuinely concerned about the feelings of plants, then factory farming is a “genocide” on the plant kingdom. The animal carcass on your plate required FAR MORE plants than the plants on my plate.Meat eaters will always eat more plants than vegans no matter how many we eat, because that is what gets pumped into animals to keep them alive.
4. You're that concerned about the onion I just pulled out of the ground but not concerned about the baby cow that I just saw get stomped on by farmers until her skull split open while all of the hillbilly farmers around her laughed and spit?
5. Straying away from bullshit metaphysical arguments, you know that if I walked into your house and knocked over a plant, it would not be the same as me walking in and slitting your dog's throat. No matter how you intellectualize it.
6. I am not in the mood to answer stupid questions. **This answer could also be applied to all questions**

What if the animal died of natural causes?

1. An animal has not died of natural causes since the industrial revolution.
2. If one my cats died, I would lovingly commemorate them and then eat a delicious quinoa salad with fresh peppers and tomatoes – because I am not disgusting.
3. Would you eat your grandmother if she died if natural causes?

Do you get enough iron?

1. Most iron rich foods are vegan already, like leafy greens, nuts, seeds, fresh herbs,and quinoa.
2. The only meats that are really rich in iron are fish eggs and liver. How much fish eggs and liver do you eat?
3. Well, since I was severely anaemic as a meat eater, and am no longer anaemic as a vegan,I am going to say.....yes. (Possibly substituted for “well, my friend Staicha was severely anaemic as a meat eater and is now a non-anaemic glorious, beautiful beacon of vegan hope with lovely red hair, yes, we DO get enough iron”).
4. Regarding any nutritional based question, it's always worth noting that as a meat eater, people rarely consider what they are eating or how balanced their diet is. As vegans we are always looking into the nutritional value and ingredients in our food. As a meat eater I never bothered to look into making sure to take iron with vitamin c and to hold off on caffeine after eating iron rich foods. Being vegan usually makes you do your own research.

I don't think vegans should be allowed to eat things that look like meat, because they have made their choice to not eat meat.

1. Do you think diabetics shouldn't have sugar free pop? That people with a gluten intolerance shouldn't have gluten free bread and pasta? That people concerned with their weight shouldn't have fat free substitutes?
2. Why do you think my patty of beans or quinoa on a burger is less legitimate or somehow “fake” compared to your carcass on a burger? Newsflash – beans existed before factory farmed packaged cow slices did.
3. You must be one of those crazy people that thinks that lesbians shouldn't be“allowed” to have dildos because “they've made their choice.”
4. We're talking about an ethical, sustainable lifestyle choice. I am thankful everyday that it is getting easier and easier, and that people like me who grew up eating nothing but meat and potatoes have those familiar foods that helped us transition.

What about B12?

1. Well, B12 is a bacteria that we get from animals who get it from the bacteria in the plants they are eating (more specifically, the dirt on the plants). Yes – we no longer get it from plants because of how well we clean our plants, and that is a good thing. So now, almost every vegan substitute is fortified, leading to what I call “The B12 Complex”- vegans getting more B12 than meat eaters due to everything being fortified.

I could never be vegan because I need meat to build muscle.

1. You definitely don't need meat to build muscle. Ask Jim Morris or Billy Simmonds, two (of many notable) vegan bodybuilders, both of whom have won the Mister Universe competition.
2. To debunk the hilarious (though damaging) connection between meat and muscle, follow on facebook “The 300 Pound Vegan”, “Anastasia Vegan Warrior”, or read anything anywhere about nutrition. One of my personal favourites is “Skinny Bastard” which addresses a lot of concerns regarding veganism and muscle development.




That's all for now my fellow herbivores! And remember, if you want to be strong like the bull, don't eat the bull, eat what the bull eats!



So, she's kind of amazing...amiright?

Happy Tuesday! 

J