Monday, November 30, 2015

Monday Happies: Just Joy

The world is this beautiful, messy, messed up place. The last month seems to have been particularly turbulent.

When bad things happen all lumped together like they have over the last few weeks we start to feel nostalgic for the good old days when things like this didn't happen...when there was no terror, mass shootings, suicide bombers and the like.

But we are romanticizing the past and under-appreciating the present. I am not going to say that these events didn't matter. They matter because every life matters. My heart is certainly with the families of the Beirut and Paris victims. It is also with those involved in the many mass shootings and terror attacks on this continent at Planned Parenthoods and schools and other public places.

But the world is filled with both Dark and Light and both horrific and miraculous things are happening all over the world every day.

I took a brief absence from the blog in order to deal with the negativity and sadness spreading across the internet in the aftermath of these events.  I meditated every day. I struggled to understand why it is that it seemed we are so full of horror in this day and age. And in that week where I didn't look at facebook every day, and didn't look at twitter (because as I pointed out in a previous post, I have deleted my twitter account) and the only news I got was from my daily hour of Democracy Now, the world didn't seem so dark. I spent time with my handsome, amazing VOMD, and cuddled with my cats, and played with Tobi the bunny, and did research for my thesis, and drank lattes from a local coffee shop, and went to a vegan potluck with a bunch of fantastic local folks. I signed a couple email petitions, yes. I still handed out a couple dollars here and there to the homeless people I encountered in downtown Hamilton. But I didn't dwell in the sadness. I didn't dwell in the negativity. I didn't dwell in the horror. I saw the beauty in the world that we miss when we spend all of our time on the internet.

Please, shut off your smart phone for a couple hours. Put it in your sock drawer and go for a walk with someone you love. Close your laptop for a day, and play a board game with some friends. Quit tweeting for an hour and go volunteer as a dog walker at your local animal shelter. Cuddle with your kids (whether they be animal or human), make some art, bake a cake, listen to some joyful music, go dancing. Be happy. Don't let the internet become your life. Don't be part of the spreading terror by sharing ever picture of bombed buildings, sad starving children, emaciated animals, tortured government detainees. Do you really want to beat the terrorists, the animal torturers, the mass shooters? Then be joyful, live your life, do good things for others whenever you can, and have a little fun now and then. Do your part, but don't let it consume you.

Be happy, my friends.

Happy Monday!

-J


Oh, and if you are in the Hamilton area, check out Cowspiracy, streaming at Democracy on Locke St. tonight at 8pm!

Friday, November 20, 2015

Not all vegans are jerks (but this post is written for those who are)

Dear Vegans,

Seriously, stop being dicks.

I wrote a post a while back about things that vegans do that piss me off. Honestly, it was sort of a funny little post about how vegan tend to turn against not only non-vegans but also their vegan compadres with whom they disagree on minor aspects of veganism. But I guess some people just don't have a sense of humour. Lots of butt-hurt vegans jumped on the lets hate Johanna/HerHerbivore bandwagon and started sending me shitty hate messages saying that I wasn't a real vegan because I still had honey in my cupboard and didn't think it was useful to tell others they aren't vegan if they wear wool or silk. (For the record, since that tub of honey was finished off by VOMD we haven't purchased more...so don't send me some hateful messages because it will go straight in the trash. I also personally do not use wool or silk. So again, please shut up.)

There is so much hate out there for vegans, on the internet and probably in your personal social circles. We vegans like to think that this hate comes from a place of defensiveness. We say things like "people get mad at us when we talk about animal cruelty because it makes them feel bad about their own choices". No. That is not the reason. I mean, maybe sometimes that is the reason. But really, the main reason they hate it is that we shove it down their throats, refuse to agree to disagree, and completely cut people down for not living the way that we do. Like...brutally cut them down. Remember when the Blonde Vegan became the Balanced Vegan? She got freaking DEATH THREATS from vegans all over the place. Sure, she doesn't seem to be the brightest...I mean, veganism really wasn't her problem. But still, man, death threats? People don't like that. Surprising, right? Okay, I am sounding a bit bitchy and sarcastic. I know. But I honestly just cannot understand where this self-righteous, bullshit attitude comes from. Yes, I think that the world would be a better place if everyone was vegan. But I definitely don't think it is remotely okay to hate people who aren't. I may have said some kind of shitty things about non-vegans jokingly in my past posts, and in my real life...but death threats? WTF vegans?

How is it that a philosophy that preaches non-violence and compassion can lead to hate and anger? Oh right, every single religion in history has taught us that eventually, there will be a bunch of douchy extremists who ruin it for everyone. Any time a philosophy becomes popular enough, some people will take it too far. But seriously jerk vegans, you're giving the rest of us a bad name. Most of the vegans I know do not walk around thinking that they are better than everyone, but the few that do are the loudest in the group. The problem with this is, though, that unlike other philosophies that can be rescued by other loud, compassionate voices rising up to set the record straight, veganism is difficult to rescue. Why? Because as soon as you say you're vegan people are now going to tune out. This is not like hearing what a Muslim has to say about how Daesh does not represent them...even bigots will probably tune into that, and maybe some of their hearts will become less hardened. It is not like that because shitty vegans have begun to successfully silence non-shitty vegans. By yelling the loudest, because they desperately wanted to be heard, they have made it so that they will never genuinely be heard. So now, the tiny group of people in this scary world who chose speak on behalf of animals have been silenced and the animals again have no voice. Good job, ass-hats. Your hate and anger have made it impossible to change the hearts and minds of people who may have been open to your perspective were you not a total dick to them. Now that you've threatened them with violence, called them immoral, told them they can't love animals but eat steak, they are never going to come around. They are more steadfast in their views than ever. I hear vegans say things like "we will never be silent, because the animals we speak for cannot do it for themselves", and yes, I totally agree, but there is a time and a place for your activism, and if you would just for a moment remember that you are a regular human being and not some enlightened Übermensch  you will realize that other people deserve the same level of dignity and respect you are demanding on behalf of non-human animals.

Of course, I am being a bit of a pessimist here. If I'm totally honest I have to admit that there is still hope. There are more vegans in the new generation than ever before, and that number will definitely continue to grow. But I hope that the vegans who send death threats, and blacklist celebrity vegans who still eat honey, and just generally shit on other people, know that this victory is not a victory for them. They didn't do this. The people who had the impact, who influenced new generations, are those who went about their activism with a view to compassion, and used hard facts with a soft heart. It is not a victory for those who yell the loudest, but for those who care the most.

Non-vegans need to see that those who ascribe to a vegan philosophy and lifestyle are not some stuck-up, self-righteous, oft-cruel, non-joke taking group of people. We are regular folks. We know how to be kind to other humans and we know how to take a joke. So, just stop it with the insults and the death threats, okay?

And now this Kumbaya vegan is going to go eat some broccoli and cool down.

Happy Friday

Love,

-J





Friday, November 13, 2015

Tuning out social media negativity

It's Friday! Today is a pretty awesome day because not only is the weekend about to begin (which means VOMD and I get to spend lots of hours cuddling and going for walks and then cuddling again to warm up) but I also have my first meeting for my new job today!

On top of the awesomeness that is Friday, as part of my commitment to being happy every day I have taken a very large, some might say socially unconscious step.



I have deleted my Twitter account and I have unfollowed or unliked everything and everyone on Facebook who has shared shitty, uncomfortable things that show up on my news feed. Gasp! I know. Sounds pretty selfish, eh? As a vegan on social media there is a lot of pressure to be constantly ON. We are expected, by other more noisy vegans, to share posts about emaciated dogs and chickens and cows, and we are expected to never miss a petition or a letter writing campaign. We are expected to just deal with the misery this brings us for the sake of the animals. I have read so many accounts of young vegans who feel constantly overwhelmed by their social media 'duties' and worry that if they log off for a few days it might mean life or death for an animal. The same goes for politics and human rights. As socially conscious young people we are expected to know about every ill, every human rights violation, every inequality.


But I am taking a stand (however minimal and possibly unfruitful it may be) against these expectations. You do not have to be miserable to be socially away and you do not have to be constantly bombarded by images that break you and make you hate the world in which we live to be a vegan. I am certainly not going to just stop reading the news, and I will certainly not be turning a bling eye to injustice, but I will not be checking my social media multiple times a day to make sure I am not missing a campaign to end circus animal abuse. Instead, I have filled my facebook 'follow' feed with delicious vegan recipes, stories of animal rescues, and humour. For the hour a day I spend on social media I am committing to being actually social, and not just click my way through every social, political, and animal rights campaign that pops up.

I did all this last night, in a fit of exhaustion, and this morning when I opened my news feed up popped a list of amazingly delicious looking vegan pasta recipes, a photo of a cow that got rescued by some very committed volunteers, and a video of musicians in Croatia posted by a classmate who is travelling Europe right now. No hairless dogs with sad eyes. No chickens with their beaks cut off. No defense of sexist or homophobia from some Republican candidate. Just joy.

And I don't feel guilty. I am vegan. I work for a socially conscious organization. I am doing meaningful research. My cat friends and bunny are adopted and well loved. I am happy. And if social media makes you forget all the good that you are doing in your real life, consider tuning out some of the negativity, because you deserve to be happy too.

Happy Friday!

-J

Thursday, November 12, 2015

This is a post about the word NO (Consent is sexy)

*Warning: this post is about sex and has mature subject matter that may not be suitable or enjoyable for some people*

A friend sent me a video yesterday that aims to teach people about the concept of consent. It is actually a super brilliant video. It makes a kind of humorous comparison between offering someone tea and offering someone sex. Watch it, if you haven't already.

It is so important that people really grasp the concept of consent. It is not conceptual; it is not negotiable. Yes is yes and no is no. Also, no yes is also no. A yes then a no is also a no. Silence is no. A pressured yes is a no.


I think we all sort of get the concept of consent as it relates to casual sexual relationships...or at least we find it easier to understand. But what so many people still struggle with is the concept of consent in a long term monogamous relationship. 

Let me just start by saying this: It is NOT your responsibility or duty to fulfill your partner's sexual desires. You do NOT have to have sex with your partner if you do not feel like having sex. You do NOT have to do anything sexually with your partner that makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or unhappy.

It is completely absurd that in a regular relationship intimate partners are often expected to continue to have the same sexual interests throughout their entire relationship...and if they don't, they  are expected to fake it. If early in the relationship I'm really into kink and all I want to be tied up, and if I want you to spank me and maybe choke me a bit, if later on I decide that I actually like soft, vanilla, missionary sex more, then I'm being unfair. If in the beginning I tell my partner that I like sex in the morning because it wakes me up and makes me feel energized, then later on I decide that I don't want to have sex in the morning because I'm tired and don't feel well, and stayed up late the night before, or whatever the reason may be, I shouldn't have to hear you say "but you used to like this". 

In the beginning of a relationship sex is often a central theme. You have sex multiple times a day, and are late for meetings and social events because sex is more fun than a night out with friends. But as you are with someone longer, sometimes sex is no longer a priority. If this is the case for one partner and not the other, sometimes one partner will make the other feel shitty about not wanting to have sex: "but I have needs and you are supposed to fulfill them". Sometimes the partner who doesn't want sex will give in and will have sex with their partner even though they don't want to. They will feel pressured, and worry that the other person won't love them anymore if they do not fulfill this apparent "duty". 

But please remember, you do not have to fake it. If you want to fake it, and it makes you happy to fake it, and you do not feel uncomfortable or unhappy faking it, and you have not been pressured or manipulated into faking it, then fine. You always have a choice. But you do not have to and should not be expected to. If you are uncomfortable with something your partner is doing sexually, you should not feel you can not tell them because you are afraid to turn them off or hurt their feelings. ( "If I don't want your finger in my ass, I am going to tell you. I don't care that being criticized makes you soft, it's MY ass.") 

But please know this: you do not have any responsibility to fulfill the sexual desires of your intimate partner. Sex may be a central part of your relationship, and maybe it is even the glue that holds you together, but that does not mean that you have any obligation to put out if you do not want to. If your partner is using guilt to get you to do sexual things, or if you are using guilt to get your partner to do sexual things, it is sexual assault. Submission is not consent. If you say no to your partner and they have sex with you anyway, it is rape. If you are asleep and are awoken by your partner having sex with you without your consent, it is rape. If your partner pressures you, guilts you, or threatens you and you finally give in, this is rape. It is not consent. This is true regardless of gender. 

Please have a conversation with your partner about consent. You do not have to write a formal contract or anything (but in some cases of kink and BDSM this may be a great way to protect both of your interests, and remember that even in kink, there should be a way to tell your partner you've had enough) but ask them what they think about the concept of consent in an intimate relationship. And please don't worry that consent will ruin the mood. Seriously. That makes no sense. Consent is not negotiable. It is required. Always. And in fact, it is hot as hell to know that your sexual partner cares about what you want and how and when you like to be touched. If you're getting busy work consent into your interactions before diving in. It can actually make things way more sexy! Instead of just ripping your partners clothes off, tell them you want to, and ask them if they want you to. Instead of just heading downtown without asking, say you really would like to go down on your partner, and ask them if they want you to. While you're having sex, ask your partner if they like what you are doing. Do you like that? Do you want me to go faster? Do you want me to put this in there? Do you want me to move it around a little?

C'mon. Tell me consent doesn't sound sexy now... I dare you.


Here are some (just a few, but there are seriously countless others) examples of what consent is NOT in an intimate relationship:

  1. Being "wet" or having a boner. Just because your partner is having a physiological reaction to the situation does not mean they want you to do something about it. A no with a boner is still a no. 
  2. Making out and grinding do not mean jump my bones. Your partner may want to make out with you, but that does not give you permission to have sex with them or touch them. If they tell you to not put your hand in their pants right now, then respect that. 
  3. Having had sex yesterday. You may have done it yesterday, and he/she might have liked it, but that does not mean they want it today, tomorrow, or ever again for that matter. 
  4. Having not had sex yet. You are not owed sex. Just because it's been three months or three years does not mean you get to go for it.
  5. Sleepiness. If your partner is exhausted and doesn't have the energy to push you off or say no explicitly, that does not give you permission to go for it. Consent means that both partner must be awake, aware, and in un-pressured, un-manipulated agreement. 
Sex is awesome. It can be fun and beautiful and romantic and wonderful. But it can also be scary and awkward if you feel pressured into doing something that makes you uncomfortable, or that hurts you, just because you and your partner have not had the talk. If your partner threatens you or your relationship's stability because you refuse to do something in the sack, please remember that consent and love are both about mutual respect. If you and your partner are not on the same page about what sex means to your relationship, you have another conversation to have.

from Planned Parenthood instagram

If you think that you are being sexually abused, or if you may wonder whether you have been doing sexual things to your partner that may be sexual assault, please check out this link. 

Happy Thursday, and be safe!

-J


Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Holiday Decorations before Remembrance day

It's November, so you know what that means... the season of hating on people who don't agree with you has begun! Every year around this time people start getting all itchy and angry and begin searching for something to be pissed about. It's as though the onset of cold weather and the upcoming holidays remind people of how much they hate their lives, as they are forced inside to spend time with their families who they have managed to avoid in the warmer months by taking up jogging or trying their hand at summer infidelity.

Among the things that get people in a tizzy is when folks start putting out holiday lights before Remembrance Day has passed...because as well all know it is a commonly known fact that veterans hate the holidays! And loving the holidays, what they represent to you as an individual, and just plain liking the look of your house decked out in holly jolly colours that distract from the fact that you haven't cleaned your floor in the last 6 months makes you a shitty, disrespectful person. You deserve to be berated on social media, you monsters!

Of course, this is not as ridiculous as the recent trend of telling Starbucks your name is Merry Christmas to trick them into putting Christmas on your cup...I mean, seriously? (If you haven't heard about this please google it. A Christian evangelist type is in a huff because Starbucks took reindeer, snowflakes and skating children off their cups (all very traditional symbols of Christmas, of course...) Oh! And Donald Trump agrees that plain red cups are anti-Christmas, so you know it must be true). But it comes pretty close when it gets to the point of people berating others on social media for rejoicing in the holiday spirit before November 11th.



I put up some decorations in my home this morning. Mostly I just needed to clear out some space in the cupboard, and my house looked kind of empty and boring after I took down all the fake cobwebs and hanging bats from Halloween. But one thing that didn't really even begin to cross my mind was "am I being disrespectful to our veterans right now?" Of course, I didn't put a whole bunch of lights on my house (I live in a multiplex) but I did put a nice holiday planter that VOMD's mother gave us out on the porch.

First, I should say that I totally get the inclination to join the military. We are indoctrinated into a world that sees war as a rational response to social, political and economic problems, and we are told that by joining the military we have the chance to fight for the rights and freedoms of our friends and family members at home. Obviously this is kind of nonsense...But it is nonsense that is easy to believe. But so as not to piss off some war-supporters, perhaps I should leave that at that.

Second, I actually do respect people who choose to join the military, and I respect the lives lost in war. But I wish that they had not died. I understand that they thought they were doing the right thing by going to war. I understand that our veterans have always had the best intentions (and that, in fact, many of our veterans of the 1st and 2nd world war, for example, did not have a choice at all). I wish that we didn't live in a country that teaches children that joining the military makes you brave and honorable, and that would call on its citizens to give their lives for corporate and political interests.

Third, every year I wear a white poppy for just one day to remember the lives lost in war but also with the intention of calling for peace rather than for war. I respect the lives lost, but I think that any compassionate, intelligent, and thoughtful individual would oppose war. The best way to respect the lives already lost is to find a way to solve our problems without more of our citizens (and the citizens of other states) having to die. Continuing to glorify war, and continuing to paint all military men and women as heroes is disrespectful to those who fought and died in all previous wars, and especially those who fought and died between 1914 and 1918 because they were told they were fighting "a war to end all wars".

So, with that, I will leave you to continue hanging tinsel while munching on a candy cane. Because I can. And because the holidays make me happier than war does. And because your tsk tsking me on Facebook has literally no impact on how I live my life.

Tomorrow I will respectfully wear my white poppy and I will take a moment of silence to remember those who gave their lives for causes they deemed worthy. I will donate to a charity for children of veterans like I do every year. I will also remember the innocent victims of all the wars fought over the last century. And I will send a prayer into the universe for peace.

Happy almost holidays!

And Happy Tuesday!

-J

P.S. a great charity to donate to this year, if you are interested, is Canadian Hero Fund who provide scholarships to children and spouses of fallen Canadian soldiers.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Monday Happies: New research contract, VOMD's family, and cold recovery in progress

This weekend VOMD were on the road once again and this time we spent a few days with his parents in Temiskaming, Quebec. His mother is one of the best cooks I have ever met and made us vegan treats a plenty. This time we got chocolate peanut butter crispy rice bars and lemon squares! Both are, oddly enough, gluten free without her even knowing that I no longer eat wheat! I love it when things work out like that. She also made us cucumber and avocado maki!

We got to meet VOMD's cousin's new son, who is only 2 months old. He is so cute it made all the baby crazy feelings I get when seeing my nieces and nephew triple! Unfortunately I had to sit in the corner wearing a mask so that I didn't pass on my shitty gross cold, but still. It was awesome.

Then, on Sunday I checked my emails for the first time since Friday morning and I got a job offer for a research contract with a local non-profit! Wooo!!! The joy of getting a new job definitely made me less frustrated with my cold-related ear ache and my inability to not be a damn mouth breather. I start my new job next Monday, so you can probably predict part of newt week's Monday Happies post.

So this morning I am feeling very happy, especially because my cold is finally going away and I only have a mild cough and a stuffy nose. After a week of feeling like garbage (which, thanks to my shitty luck came right on the tails of a brutal period) I can finally go about 25 minutes without having a coughing fit and emptying half a box of tissues.

I hope you're all having a great Monday as well!

Happy Monday!

-J

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Fat, Blemished, Stretch-Marked, Scarred, Beautiful

One day about four years ago when I first started struggling with my skin I was walking home from work and I was having a particularly good day. I was wearing a new pencil skirt that I have picked up from Valu Village that made me look like my waist to hip ratio made no sense whatsoever, and my hair was blowing in the wind. I felt beautiful. I was going home to see my then-boyfriend, who would be off work soon.

But then a car drove by me, quite slowly, and the young man behind the wheel yelled something that I had never had yelled at me before and that I will probably remember forever: "Pizza Face!"

I will admit that I never struggled with my weight or my appearance much in high school. At a time when people were wearing makeup to cover their acne and struggling with their body image, I was blissfully content with my physical appearance. But adulthood (and veganism, it turns out) brought with it skin problems and weight gain that I had never experienced before.

That day, when I was called pizza face, was the first time I had ever cried because of the way I look. (I am embarrassed to say that I cried, because our culture thinks that crying makes you weak, shows that you are a wimp... crying in our culture is misconstrued as passive aggressive, a guilt trip, a plea for attention. It is unacceptable. It is girly. It is stupid.)

But I am not the only who cries, or who has hated themselves. Who has stayed inside so as not to be seen. Who has canceled plans with friends because of a breakout or a "fat day".

Many people, even kind, intelligent, well-educated people still struggle with the concept of body positivity. I was once guilty of this myself. I saw people who were overweight and I would think to myself I would never let myself get that way. I would see someone with bad skin and think wow, they really don't take care of themselves.  But part of becoming an intelligent, well-rounded adult is that you become critical of the ways that you view and treat others. Unfortunately in my case it took feeling shitty about myself to realize how shitty I was being to other people. I wish that I could have come to that without having to make it about me. You shouldn't have to feel shitty about yourself to realize that you are being shitty towards others.

Tell me if any of this sounds familiar. I have a dear friend who constantly criticizes overweight people he sees on those electric scooter wheelchairs. He says they are lazy. When he sees a woman wearing shorts that are too short he says that it is slutty. When he sees a woman who is wearing clothing that do not hide her fat, he says is is gross. He says they should learn to dress for their weight. When he sees someone wearing too much makeup he says it looks awful and that they clearly don't have any self-esteem (as though their low self-esteem is their fault and not a product of our culture). He tells me that men like women who take care of themselves, who care about how they look and about their health. But he also tells me that men like women who don't look like they are trying too hard.

You probably feel like I am describing someone you know quite well, or maybe yourself. But that truth is, I am describing our culture, as it is represented in one young, effortlessly fit, acne free white male.

When I defend someone to this friend, when I say "you can't just assume that person is lazy; you shouldn't say that people are gross; you should respect their right to choose what they please; you should try to understand the inclination to look beautiful by societal standards" I am told that "being fat is unhealthy; wearing clothes that don't fit "sends the wrong message" or is "asking for it" and that you should be able to see past society's obsession with physical beauty and not wear makeup"...

I want to ask him: But why do you give a flying fuck? Why does it matter to you that someone may be unhealthy? Why does it matter if they feel sexy in the clothes they choose? Why do you care if someone has low self-esteem and must wear makeup to make themselves feel better? And how can you possibly know what motivates any of these people  to look or act the way they do? What is the perfect level of beauty that will demonstrate to you that someone cares about how they look but doesn't look like they are trying too hard? What is the perfect weight to demonstrate that someone cares about their health but also likes to eat and doesn't give a shit about what society thinks their body looks like? Am I at that level? Am I too fat, too thin, too slutty? Do I wear too much makeup? When I wear makeup does it look like I don't care, or does it look like I'm trying too hard? Are my shorts too short are my stretch marks too visible, do my scars freak you out? Do I seem lazy? Do you judge me like you judge these other people? Do you hold your friends to a higher or lower standard than you hold strangers? If you can think these things about someone you know nothing about, what can you possibly think of me, your dear friend?

When I tell you that people are beautiful regardless of their weight, their skin, their hair, their makeup, their clothes, what I mean is that in spite of whether or not you find looking at them pleasing, they are deserving of the same level of respect you would give to someone you do find pleasing. You are not the compass that points to true beauty north. You are one person, and you are fucked up just like the rest of us. You have crooked teeth and messy hair and skinny arms and freckles and body acne and body odour. You are beautiful. I have stretch marks and scars and blemishes and love handles. I am beautiful. They are fat, thin, tall, short, fully clothed or nearly naked, made up or makeup free, loud, quiet, uneducated, intelligent, lazy, motivated, self-conscious, proud. They are beautiful.

But what might make them more beautiful than you, what might push them way over the top, what might make them outshine you in any arena, is that they just might be kind. They just might be non-judgmental. They just might be committed to everyone's freedom to be themselves. I can honestly say that when you criticize those people, when you remind me that you have this great capacity to be unkind, and that society has warped you so much that you will defend your right to be an asshole, I can't see your kind smile, your beautiful face, your strong cheek bones, your intelligence, your socially desirable height and weight. All I see is ugliness. And your criticism backfires on you. And the person you criticize becomes even more beautiful than they already were.


Here is a great article on body-positivity by Ijeomo Oluo in interview with Substantia Jones of the Adipositivity Project (isn't that the most clever name for a body positivity project?!)

Happy Tuesday!

-J

Monday, November 2, 2015

Monday Happies: Halloween, the Matadors, and another semester

This weekend was pretty awesome. VOMD and I went to London Saturday to spend Halloween with my awesome vegan sister and her awesome vegan friends. One of her friends/roommates is an insanely talented makeup artist and costumer and she painted my face for my costume!





Awesome, right?! It was not surprisingly a great night. After spending some time listening to some music and playing Cards Against Humanity we decided at about 1 o'clock to go to a bar called Call the Office where I learned that I'm actually weirdly good at pinball. Also, there was a live band playing and I said to my sister, "Oh my gosh, I freaking love this song. It's by the Matadors."....guess what; it was the freaking Matadors. Teen me would have been so jealous because I got to meet the guys from the Matadors and get a signed shirt! 

Sunday was a lazy day to kick off World Vegan Month. It started with vegan brunch at Globally Local in London, and ended with coconut caramels, the Addams Family, and Moshi Mochi (please buy these and put them in your face right now! Mochi filled with coconut milk iced cream) at home, cuddling on the couch with VOMD and one of my favourite kitties. 

Today I have a bit of a cold that I am hoping desperately goes not get much worse, but it is still a good day because I am feeling reassured about my decision to take an extra semester to finish my thesis (I mean, most people take the full two years, so I will still be done 3 months ahead of schedule). 

Happy Monday!

-J

Friday, October 30, 2015

Living a life I'm proud of

*I do apologize for not posting as diligently as I had in the past. Things have been stressful and overwhelming. I have had to shuffle my priorities a little. I largely write this blog for myself and for my family, and given what has been happening recently, my attention has been directed more towards face to face relationships than online interactions*



What are you proud of?

I'm proud of looking good if I put a lot of effort into my appearance on a given day. I am proud of my academic grades and honours, even when I am not proud of what I've written. I'm proud of a performance at a job interview for a job that I don't actually want. I'm proud of myself for not crying in public when I see something that breaks my heart... I am proud of the things that I change about myself to make myself more appealing in our culture that tells us to: be strong; be competitive; be unique; be beautiful; be fit.

But up to this point in my life I have never seriously reflected on whether or not I am living a life that I am proud of. This year has been a wake up call for me, though. Two of my close family members have been dealing with cancer, my own health has deteriorated, and the stress of losing my thesis has made me really question my commitment to the academy. My personal relationships have suffered a great deal because of these issues. Like many people who go through stressful time I became overwhelmed a took a step back from much of my life. But now I am trying to get back on track, in terms of my health (as I have mentioned before) and in terms of my actual life.

There are many reasons to do your best to live a good, purposeful, and meaningful life. For example, I just read a little article published last year that tells us that living a life with purpose can extend our lives. Now, of course, if your intention in living a life with purpose is to extend your life...that is pretty damn problematic. But on the other hand, realizing that living a purposeful life is really the best way to live should really make you question how you are living your life now.
http://enjoylifeitisthejustone.blogspot.ca/


There is a little post spreading around the internet by the guy who founded Sevenly. He is on a vacation with his family and he tells us:

"Culture tells us to spend an entire year saving for a week to escape our life. We call it vacation. Even as I'm on this incredible road trip across the Northwest with my family, something doesn't feel right. Vacations are meant to be new, they are meant to be fun, but they are not meant to be better than your normal life. I've been all around the world, and I would never trade travel for what I have at home. Life isn't about the 50 vacations you'll take while you're on this planet. It's about the 25,000 days between them. Stop creating a life that you need a vacation from. Instead, move to where you want to live, do what you want to do, start what you want to start, and create the life you want today." (Dale Partridge)

I am guilty of this. I am guilty of dreaming of traveling far for short periods of time. I am guilty of taking what I have now for granted in my longing for what has been and what is to come. I am guilty of thinking about the future in the abstract rather than taking steps in the present to live the life that I want to live.

I am partial to making lists, as you may have noticed if you read my blog often, so I am going to create yet another. This is a list of how I am going to try to live my life hereafter.


  1. I will be happy, not just on Fridays, but every day of the week. Wherever my career path takes me, I will never just slog through and deal with depression because that's "what you've got to do". I will choose joy over job security.
  2. I will make being kind my life goal, rather than saving money for a house down-payment or paying down debts.
  3. I will remember my reasons for being vegan - to make the world a better place for all who live on this earth human and non-human alike. It is not about being personally pure. It does not make me better than anyone else. 
  4. I will put my family, my animal companions, and my friends first in everything, even when people criticize me for being a pushover. I will embrace that side of myself. I will not harden my heart. Being kind does not make me weak. 
  5. I will continue to follow my passion in academia - and out of it if that is where my passion leads me. 
  6. I will not occupy my mind with too many dreams about the future, nor will I dwell on the past. I will live for now. 
  7. I will do my best to be flexible with my goals, my dreams, my career path, my personal deadlines, and in my interactions with others. 
  8. I will not expect too much of myself or of others. I will accept myself as I am and I will accept others as they are. This does not mean, though, that I will never change - for better or worse. 
  9. I will not complain about my job, my health, or my education unless I am willing to do make a change.
  10. I will not search for the light at the end of the tunnel. I will take initiative, turn on a damn flashlight, and make my life good right now. 

Happy Friday! And Happy Halloween! 

-J

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Steps towards whole food living and vegan mayo recipe

About a million years ago I posted that I was going to begin a whole food plant based diet to try to deal with my health issues. So far I've been pretty lackadaisical with my commitment to getting healthy. For example, VOMD and I spent $40 on vegan donuts this weekend and ate half of them before Tuesday. But a recent blood test reaffirmed that I need to get my shit together and take my health seriously. 

Yesterday I have started a new regime that eliminates wheat products (pasta, bread, etc), caffeine, and processed sugar as the first step towards finding what is causing my skin problems. I have suspected for a long time that I might have a mild sugar or gluten allergy, a theory which was reinforced by talking to a friend at the pub who explained that he had similar responses to dairy - that is, the feeling of being hungover without drinking alcohol, puffy sinuses, skin abrasions and itching, and a general feeling of complete crappiness. For breakfast yesterday I ate an insanely large bowl of brown rice noodles with broccoli and mushrooms, and for lunch I had brussels sprouts and green peppers. For my intermittent snacks throughout the day I had amazing organic grapes and for dinner I had a nice stir fry with button mushrooms, broccoli, zucchini, and sweet potatoes. Oh! and I made my own mayo for VOMD's lunchtime sandwiches! I followed this recipe...sort of. Here's what I ended up doing:

Vegan Mayo:
1 cup unsweetened organic soy milk 
2 1/4 cup grapeseed oil
1 tsp sea salt
1 tsp Redpath brown sugar
1.5 tsp ground mustard 
2.5 tsp fresh squeezed lemon juice

Blend all the ingredients except the lemon juice until it is smooth and has reached your desired consistency, then add the lemon juice slowly and keep blending until well combined and your mayo is thick, creamy, and spreadable!



This morning I still felt a little hungover but I think this is a good first step.  

Happy Thursday, folks!

-J


Monday, October 19, 2015

Monday Happies: Halloween Haunt and Voting Day!

Good morning!

Today is kind of a very important day so before I tell you about my awesome weekend I have to urge you to go to the polls (if you're Canadian and haven't done so already).

This election the stakes are very high. We are facing the prospect of four more years of Stephan Harper's Conservatives. Our international reputation is suffering, our economy is in the dumps (don't trust everything you read, my friends) and our environment is at risk because our regulations have been hack-sawed to bits. We have faced great challenges to our basic rights and freedoms, and the calling of this election interrupted an incredibly important queer and trans rights bill that was unfortunately being torn apart by a conservative senate at the behest of a small minority of Conservative petitioners. We cannot have another conservative government and if by tomorrow morning Harper is not ousted, it will be a horrible thing for our country - for our citizens at home and abroad - and, let's be honest, for the planet.

So, please vote. And please consider voting for someone other than your local Conservative Candidate.

On a lighter note, BEST WEEKEND EVER. I was supposed to hang out with a couple girlfriends who were in the same MA program as I on Saturday - they both finished earlier than I because they did comprehensive exams and a major research project instead of a thesis... the lucky ducks. But, unfortunately one of them had to cancel because she was sick, so VOMD and I had to figure out something to do with our day. Our solution was to drive to St. Catharines to buy 18 vegan donuts! We have donuts coming out of our ears.

Then, yesterday VOMD bought us tickets to go to Halloween Haunt! Holy crap it was so much fun. I went on Leviathan for the first time and nearly crapped myself because I am terrified of roller coasters, and then we spent the rest of the night going through mazes, eating French fries, and going on fun, non-terrifying rides (because fearing for my life once in one night is enough for me).

And then we shot some zombies and saved the world. No big deal.



I am so glad I am a bit of a scaredy cat because going through those mazes would have been so boring if I were brave. There was a guy ahead of us in one of the mazes who was about 6'5" and I felt so sad for him because he seemed genuinely bored. I am now incredibly stoked for Halloween and will probably be spending every night for the next two weeks watching horror movies and dreaming up ways to make my house look creepy without spending any more money. I seem to have lost almost all of my Halloween decorations. I wonder if I left them at my ex's in North Bay... but its nothing a few black plastic bags, some twine, and corn syrup with food coloring can't fix.

Happy Monday Everyone!

-J

Friday, October 16, 2015

Stressed Grad School update!

This month is incredibly hectic, but most of it has been good so far, and there is so much more good to come! VOMD and I visited my awesome vegan sister in London on the 3rd and met her awesome vegan roommates. We went home to my parents' for Thanksgiving this past weekend, and we are headed to Halloween Haunt this coming Sunday. The next week we have a vegan potluck with some cool local vegans and then it is back to London for Halloween!

Through all of this, though, there is a specter looming over me and its name is Thesis.

Seriously, though, I am ready to be done my MA. I thought that my impostor syndrome and my fear of failure would dissipate as I got closer to completion, but this has incredibly not been the case. In fact, I am now terrified that it will not be good enough and I will not graduate. The setbacks I have faced have not helped, obviously. Loosing such a huge chunk of my research right before my final semester made things far more difficult than they needed to be. Now I have wasted the last month writing my first three chapters (which is largely theory and lit review stuff) and have only a month left to complete my final two chapters to meet my first draft deadline in November, which will include all of the actual case study stuff - of which I have yet to even locate the majority.

But, by December 14 I will be done...and then defense and revisions of course.

I am feeling a little discouraged.

But this weekend is going to be amazing, so I'm putting on my happy face.

Happy Friday!

-J

Thursday, October 15, 2015

A letter to my vegan sister

Hi vegan friends and friends of vegans! I read this article about how being grateful seems to have a positive impact on your mental and physical well-being. So, I decided to start saying thank you more often to some of the people in my life who make the world a better place, starting with my amazing feminist vegan sister!

Dear [Erin],

Thank you for existing. Sometimes when I am totally overwhelmed and think that I am going insane I remember that you exist and I immediately feel less alone.  I obviously love the whole family like a madman but you and I have this really unique relationship that, while it has seen its ups and downs, is one of the most amazing things in my life. The best thing about having a feminist vegan for a sister is that you challenge me in a way that other vegans and non-vegan friends just don't. When a random vegan friend criticizes me for my views and demands an explanation I feel threatened and intellectually intimidated, especially if that person has been vegan for longer than I have. Often it leads to defensiveness. The same goes for when non-vegan friends ask me about veganism. Often I get frustrated and can't formulate the right sentences to get my point across without sounding like total turd. When you challenge me I sometimes still get defensive, but somehow you see through my defensiveness to the value of what I am saying that lies beneath.

Your passion and hunger for change and social justice is an inspiration to almost everyone you meet - I say almost because some people just don't get you...but screw them. Your strong feminist values challenge me to reflect on the way I see myself and those around me and your ability to use logic and facts to intelligently defend your views is enviable because as you know, I tend more towards the get overwhelmed and leave the conversation approach to confrontation.

Your willingness to grow and change inspires me to be more open to new things and remind me that the path I am on is not only the only one available. And I am so lucky that you are there to remind me that not living up to the expectation I have for myself doesn't make me a shitty person; it just makes me human.

Having you in the family makes it so much easier to remain strong in my convictions. I love and respect the other members of the family, but sometimes it is difficult to relate to people when they are unwilling or unable to see things from your perspective.

I am so grateful for you. I just thought you should probably know.

Happy Thursday!

-J




Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Why I don't (and won't) hide my Veganism

This weekend I finally met one of VOMD's best friends and his lovely girlfriend in North Bay. We were all visiting some family for Thanksgiving. We went for a nice hike at Duchesnay Falls and accompanied them (and their beautiful vegetarian momma!) to Piebird B&B and Vegan Farmstay for what they were calling ThanksLiving! What a great way to celebrate a day of thanks!
Duchesnay Falls in the Fall!

What struck me was that VOMD's friend has faced, much like VOMD, a great deal of opposition to his lifestyle choice from coworkers and strangers who find out he is vegan. He told us that at one point he was called a "faggot" for not eating animal products. His response to this type of hate is very understandably to keep his veganism to himself as much as possible. I have heard from others who tell me that they are called pussies if they tell people they are vegan. I am so sad and sorry that this is the case for many of those who choose to go vegan and it seems especially the case for vegan men. VOMD faced the same sort of discrimination in the workplace when working for a cement pouring company here in Hamilton. It is one of the reasons he chose to leave that job in search of greener
(and kinder) pastures.

This is why I will never stop talking openly about being vegan - so that some day they can feel safe doing so too (and obviously so that some day the planet and all the animals that live on it will be safe from human violence).

Speaking with Sherry at Piebird we learned her approach to talking about veganism among non-vegans - wait to be asked and then acknowledge that you are happy to answer the question. I think that this is a great approach. Teach by living. But sometimes teaching by ling isn't enough. Vegans get a bad rap for talking about their food and their lifestyle choices a lot. I think that what is actually going on is that non-vegans just notice more when we talk about our food because it sounds different; it stands out. It is like if all the world's gardens had only blue flowers; yellow flowers would certainly stand out, even if there were only a few. When we talk about our lifestyle choices, and about our love for animals, and our decision not to profit from their misfortune, it stands out!

Think back to the last holiday dinner (maybe Thanksgiving dinner!) with a group of vegans and non-vegans. Now, in your head, count how many references were made to turkey, hunting, milk, and other animal products by non-vegans. Now count the number of times a vegan mentioned their diet and lifestyle. Chances are the vegan only talked about their food once or twice - perhaps they declined a slice of turkey or asked if the potatoes had milk in them. Chances are the non-vegans gushed at length about the turkey, about how much they loved butter, and (if you have family members who hunt around this time of year like I do) possibly talked at length about their latest kill (or miss).

We are told that we talk about our veganism too much. But I think we don't talk about it enough. Obviously people who have blogs like this one (and many others which are much better and more informative than this one!) talk about it plenty, but most vegans I know seldom mention it to anyone at all because they are either tired of or scared of being bullied. But instead of hiding it we really need to talk about it more. We need to talk about it so much that it becomes normalized in our culture. We need to make it so that they are at least as many yellow flowers as there are blue ones!

I will never hide my veganism largely because I want my boyfriend and especially his male and male-identifying friends to feel comfortable telling their macho work buddies that they are vegan. I want them to be met with expressions of admiration rather than disgust. Or better yet, I want them to tell their workmates they are vegan, only to realize that their workmates are vegan too!

I will never hide my veganism because if I do it says to those non-vegans who are hateful (and I am certainly not saying that this is the case for all non-vegans) that I am ashamed of my choice. I am not ashamed to be vegan. I will not be scared into submission by your violence and your hateful words. I made a choice based in compassion, love, and respect for all living beings and the planet.

If you have faced this type of sexist, bigoted bullshit discrimination, please keep this in mind: In a world where homosexuals have fought tooth and nail for acceptance and equality "faggot" is not a convincing insult; being a faggot in our culture means that you have the courage and strength to be yourself. Remember also that the "Pussy" is a symbol of feminine strength. Pussies are capable of giving and receiving of pleasure. Pussies literally make the world go round! Pussies give birth to LIFE! If being vegan makes you a "faggot" or a "pussy", then wear those labels with pride my veggie friends.

In solidarity.

Happy Wednesday!

-J


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

I love you even if we don't agree.

I've been having a lot of little spats with people lately about politics, ethnicity, animals rights and feminism. It comes with the territory of sharing your views online and I totally welcome opposition. I shared a couple posts over the last couple weeks about xenophobia and sexism and advocated for deleting toxic people off your friends list and from your life.

But not everyone deserves to be blotted out. I mean, opposition is healthy and challenges to my way of thinking are what made me a feminist vegan in the first place, so challenge away!

I guess it doesn't always seem like I'm open to challenges, though, and I suppose I need to work on that. I was recently called intolerant and it made me think seriously about whether my fanatical obsession with social and animal justice have turned into a jerk. I read through a few of my blog posts and my journal to see if I could find evidence of this. I found that there is some of evidence that I am intolerant, but mostly my intolerance is of...intolerance. I don't think that that is real intolerance.

I have come to the conclusion that while I am obviously very passionate and can sometimes say things that seem offensive to some, I am not a jerk and I am in fact a very tolerant person. My friends and family love me in spite of my fanaticism and I love them right back. My experiences over the last 4 years of being vegan have taught me that there are actually a ton of things that I will totally tolerate, even though they make my blood boil. For example:

  1. If you believe deeply in any God, I might not understand or agree with you, but I love you anyway!
  2. If you think that science is stupid and prefer to live life spiritually without concern to deep understanding, that's actually totally okay with me and I love you anyway!
  3. If you don't support gay marriage for religious reasons I have to say that this makes literally no sense (unless you're opposed to the concept of marriage altogether), but if you don't shout it from the roof tops like an ass (like...if you tell me in confidence and have a non-yelling conversation with me about it) then believe it or not even though I am totally appalled and confused I love you anyway! 
  4. If for some reason you think there are only two genders, I realize you and I are both products of our cultures and I love you anyway!
  5. If you hypocritically love animals but eat animal products, it makes me incredibly, insanely, deeply sad (and sometimes very angry), but I love you anyway!
  6. If you vote Conservative for whatever reason, I think you are probably not thinking things through and you need to sort out your priorities but I still love you anyway!
  7. If you are doing your best for the planet and trying genuinely to be a good person then even if your tactics don't line up with my values I love you anyway!

If you are outwardly homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, hateful, hurtful, or just mean then I don't really love you. If you call me names, tell me I'm ignorant, or threaten my safety or the safety of anyone else on this planet, I really don't love you. but I still think I could if you admitted you were being unjust and unkind, and changed your ways. Why? I think its because loving feels so much better than hating. Love is the reason I do almost everything I do. I love animals, and therefore I am vegan; I love humanity and therefore I respect all peoples; I love women and therefore I think they deserve freedom and equality; I love people of all genders and sexuality and therefore I think intolerance must be challenged; I love the planet and therefore I am an environmentalist. 

Most of all, I love you for reading this blog. You deserve a kiss. Kiss yourself for me, will you? 

Happy Tuesday!

-J

ps. Less than one week until voting day!!!! let's make this one count!

Friday, October 9, 2015

Why being a feminist vegan makes sense...

I have been having an argument with myself about whether or not I should post this. In general I'm fairly strict with myself about not pedantically defining things and forcing others to adhere to my definitions. For example, I would never tell you what it means to be a woman, or a man, or a conservative, or a liberal, or trans, or queer, or even vegan, believe it or not. Yes, I have my views on what all of those things entail, especially veganism, but if you want to call yourself a vegan and still use wool, I'm not going to jump down your throat about it.

But now I am faced with an issue that completely flies in the face of my live and let live logic...mostly because it involves actual lives...the lives of non human animals.

I really think that being a feminist just goes hand in hand with being vegan. Now, don't fly off the handle at me and accuse me of dictating to you what it means to give a shit about femininity. I've heard it all before...in fact I'm pretty sure I've said it all before. I actually recall being about 14 years old and insisting that feminists were stupid. To be fair, I was 14 and had no clue what being a feminist actually meant. I thought it was a dirty word used to describe man haters. Some of you probably still feel this way. I hope you will change your mind.

So, for a moment, please hold in your shouts of righteous indignation while I try to get my point across, and then we can have an actual discussion about it.

Meat, dairy, and eggs are feminist issues. Here are some things that I know to be true about feminism. First, feminism is about subverting and sometimes entirely rejecting patriarchal social norms and constructs that marginalize, objectify, and demean women, and femininity more broadly. Feminism is about understanding that ones actions towards women can easily contradict their stated belief systems about the value of the feminine - for example, when someone says they respect women but regularly make casual sexist jokes. Feminism is also about recognizing that all "women" matter, even if they do not define themselves as women, or even if society tells us that these women are sexually male. It is also about recognizing that all people matter, regardless of their gender orientation. Feminism is about respecting female reproduction and understanding that an individual has the right to choose whether and how they become a mother. Feminism is about, first and foremost, freedom, dignity, and respect for all.

Where do meat, dairy, and eggs come into the picture, though? Well, my friends, where do you think they come from? Here are some facts about meat, dairy and eggs.

  1. Meat is the product of animals who are objectified to the point of reducing their value to nutritional content...or worse, taste.
  2. Both eggs and milk are products of the female reproductive system.
  3. In order to produce 'livestock' for the meat, dairy and egg industry, female animals are routinely raped to produce more offspring, and in the case of nearly all these pregnancies the animal's offspring is taken from it to be used for meat, or to be raised until these  animals too can be raped to produce offspring. 
  4. The violence of slaughterhouses spills out into the everyday world. There is a verified link between the existence of a slaughterhouse and violent crime in communities that house them. Read this article for more information. Violent crime in non urban areas unequally impacts women, who are more likely to be victims of sexual assault and domestic violence.
More than this, though, it seems nearly impossible to me to disconnect the bodies of animals from the bodies of women. From the time I was very young I have felt objectified and sexualized. I think that many young women have felt this way. We are groped in school hallways or by friends of our parents in quiet smokey corners; we are whistled at by strangers on the street; we are called names like whore or slut if we dress in a way deemed inappropriate, and called worse names is we like sex and experience sex with multiple partners in any period of time. We are made into objects, even by those who claim to only want what's best for us. Our reproductive rights are taken from us and we are scolded for refusing to adhere to a system that demands we alter our bodies chemically or physically in order to enjoy a sexual life (read: we take pills and get inserts to stop something "bad" from happening). We are taught that we must be modest because you never know what a man might do if he sees your thigh or breast. We are confined and yet we are sexualized by the media and used to sell products to other confined and sexualized people. We are made to be pieces of meat.

How can we recognize that all of this is true and subject animals to the same tortures? We take away their freedom, we objectify them, we cut them up and put them on Burger King billboards, bare naked as naked can be - without bodies, bones or skin. We literally confine them behind closed doors and blacked out windows so that the world cannot see what is happening to them - mirroring the hisotircal attitude that what happens to a woman in the home is not politically or socially relevant. We take advantage of their reproductive systems. We rape them. And then we justify that rape as a necessary and natural norm, when it is really a cultural construct. We do to animals what has been done to women for centuries, and then we put them on our plates and we eat them. Women are figuratively meat; animals are literally  meat.

Now, I will get flack for this, perhaps. This overzealous feminist rant about the bodies of women becoming meat. People will say, but men are sexualized too! They will say, men are put upon, men are demeaned, men are seen as culturally inferior. This is a deeply problematic argument. Sure, men are increasingly sexualized in our culture, and increasingly made out by movies and television to be "big dumb oafs" who require a woman's supervision. Yes this is problematic. Shouldn't the goal be to raise women up, not bring men down?  But there is another side-effect our culture's increased painting the man as animalistic oaf: it justifies all those problems that impact women as well. It justifies rape culture. It justifies the whistles and the gropes. It justifies abuse. The men can't help it, our pop culture declares, they are like animals when they see a female piece of flesh. This is why I shouldn't show my breasts or wear short shorts. Because if I do then they can't help it if they assault me. I was asking for it.


This is a parallel between the painting of man as oaf and the animal as meat. We as a culture cannot help our desire for flesh, and therefore it is justified. But men are not oafs and women are not meat. Likewise humans are not oafs and animals are not meat.

I am tired of being told by men that their dicks will cure me of my veganism, or that their dicks will cure me of my sexual desire for women. I firmly believe that until we stop viewing anything as meat, our culture will not be able to escape viewing women as meat.

For some really great thoughts on this you should read The Sexual Politics of Meat by Carol Adams.

I found a great article last year on Everyday Feminism that gets at some of the other issues, including the perpetuation of rape culture, and the naturalization of problematic social norms. Read it here.

This wasn't a very happy post, but I still want you to have a nice day, so Happy Friday, veggie friends and friends of veggies!

-J



Thursday, October 8, 2015

7 things that all modern vegans can relate to

As a modern vegan you live in a world of social media and mass media coverage of issues big a small. You live in a  world where nothing is sacred because everything can be shared an exploited on the internet for political purposes or just a quick laugh.

To all my fellow herbivore out there, I just want you to know that we all feel like you do sometimes. You're not crazy and you're not alone. Because lists are this huge thing on the internet now and have basically replaced actual writing, I've produced yet another one for you. Here are 7 things that most modern vegans will totally relate to:


  1. Sharing things on Facebook or Twitter about eating vegetables or caring about animals opens you up to annoying comments like "but bacon, tho"... you know, because the rationality of your life choice to not kill and consume non-human animals is going to disintegrate in the face of greasy, chewy, murdered pig belly fat.  
  2. When you share on Facebook that you are vegetarian or vegan people will inevitably accuse you of pushing your values on them, even though yesterday they posted that they love steak and voting for bigots. You may also notice that you never comment on other people's posts about liking to eat carcasses, and yet YOU are the one pushing your views and values on others. Interesting, no?
  3. You will constantly be told to explain your canine teeth, in meme form 
  4. And also, you'll be forced to educate people on what protein is constantly, because even though the internet is this vast library of near infinite information, people can't be bothered to google amino acids.
  5. Every day you are confronted with people sharing animal rights campaigns on their social media platforms, usually right after they post a photo of their dinner which consisted of macaroni and cheese and a slab of animal carcass. You will be pleased to see people giving a shit, but the hypocrisy becomes exasperating. 
  6. You will not go a month without someone posing an absurd hypothetical about whether you'd murder an animal to survive whatever extreme circumstance they propose
  7. The internet can be a shitty place, so when you go out into the real world and meet another vegan in person its the best thing ever and you spend at least the next 30 minutes excitedly yelling and starting every other sentence with "OMG EXACTLY!" 

Happy Thursday!

-J

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

How to spot a douchenozzle: A practical guide Part 2

So, you may have missed my first post on how to spot the intolerant buttbags on your facebook friends list and in your every day interactions. If you did, and you're interested in learning how to spot a xenophobe, follow this link!

Now, tell me if this sounds familiar: You're scrolling through facebook, again binge watching something on Netflix (in my case, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, baby) when you are bombarded with this image:


You gasp with disgust and promptly block that person from your Facebook feed. Later on, while you're pretending to write your thesis you realize that you haven't checked Facebook in about six minutes. What if you missing something important like Chuck Norris meme or a picture of a cute goat?! You promptly begin scrolling again and land on this image:

And right after that one you see this:

And you start to wonder about all this emphasis on real men and real women, and the complete lack of emphasis on whether it matters at all that one is a man or a woman, or whether man and woman are actual true biological facts, or if in fact they are actually just social constructs that are deeply harmful to the identities of everyone, not just those who do identify as either men or women, but to those who find themselves completely at odds with this bullshit binary sex system we find ourselves in. And then you wonder if people are actually being sexist buttheads, or if they are just uninformed and uncritical types...



Well, here's the truth of the matter. Ignorance of gender issues is no excuse for sexism. So if you're wondering if someone is a sexists or just stupid...remember that they are not mutually exclusive. It is very likely that they are actually both.

Here are some Sure-fire ways to spot a sexist:


  1. If someone makes a comment to you, even in jest, about women belonging in the kitchen...then they are being sexist.
  2. If someone ever tries to tell you that real men have beards, love women the right way, know how to dance, don't cook, make good money, know how to play guitar, have tattoos, look good in a  suit, etc. etc. etc. they are probably sexist. We have to realize that even when we post things like the above meme about men being good to women, we are saying, perhaps not on purpose or directly, that a man is someone who loves women. It says that gay men are not real men. It says that those who identify as men and don't love men are not men. And problematic still, it says that men who do not treat women properly are not men. This is not true. "Manliness" is not a moral standard against which we measure the quality of an individual. It is an objective descriptor which is either socially or self-prescribed and has very little to do with being a good person and treating people the right way. A more accurate meme would say "Really good people treat other people nicely"...but that's not clever enough for Facebook, I suppose. 
  3. If anyone ever says to you that feminism isn't necessary anymore for any reason including but not limited to women and men already being equal, the wage gap not existing, men just being better at business, women spending more time worrying about family than their career, or any combination of those or any other explanation, they are at least a little bit sexist.
  4. If someone tries to convince you that women should have to dress modestly in order to not attract unwanted attention from men... you know, the whole "if you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut" argument.. then they are both stupid and sexist.
  5. If someone ever tries to tell you that the way that you dress, act, work, play, throw, run or live your life is "unladylike or unmanly" then they are sexist. 
  6. If you identify as a woman and a man tells you that you would be prettier if you smiled more, he is a sexist... I say "he" here because it is a cultural fact. Please don't go all crazy on me and argue that this isn't sexist. Do you see many men telling other men that they would be prettier if they smiled? No?  
  7. If someone tries to tell you that real women have curves, regardless of the gender of the speaker, they are a sexist. 
Here's the thing. VOMD has a glorious beard. Do I want him to keep it? Absolutely. Do I think it makes him look sexy as all hell? Definitely. Does it make him more of a man? Hell to the freaking no. 

I have a sizable arse. Do I love my curves? Yes. Do I struggle with my weight just like any other person in our culture? Also yes. Do I define myself and my adherence to my gender and my sex by the size of my arse or the ratio of my waist to hip girth? Hell freaking no. 

If you are guilty of any of the above, then maybe you don't think you are being a sexist butt head, but maybe you have some thinking to do on the subject. You might think you're just having a laugh and that saying "real men have beards" is really of no social and/or cultural consequence. But it does matter. I think it is high time we start realizing that an individual's or a groups dignity is more important than a cheap laugh.

And if its worse and you genuinely think that you get to define what it means to be a man or a woman, and you think that it is okay to spread messages of hate across the internet...you just suck. Please go tell your mom you love her right now. 

Get your act together internet. 

Happy Wednesday!

-J

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

The Conservative party thinks you're an idiot (are you going to let them talk to you like that?)

I think so far in my so-called election coverage I have been fairly good at keeping a level hand when it comes to the other three parties...that is, not the conservatives, obviously. This is largely because I support the whole "anyone but Harper" thing that is spreading across Southern Ontario like wildfire.

But I am not unbiased, at all, and I don't think that anybody should try to be when it comes to the fate of our country and the people living within (or trying to gain access to a life within) our borders.

So here is the fact: the conservative party thinks that you are an idiot and if you buy into their racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist nonsense, then you are not proving them wrong. And, if you are one of those people who call themselves "fiscal conservatives" can you please just admit that money means more to you than people, because you're not fooling anyone. If you vote conservative you are not just voting for a fiscal policy, you are voting for a government that thinks race-baiting is an ethical way to win an election. If you vote conservative you are saying that missing and murdered indigenous women don't matter. If you vote conservative you are saying that you would gladly give up your basic rights and freedoms to CSIS in order to stop a somewhat exaggerated ISIS threat. If you vote for the conservatives you are saying that citizenship should be conditional. If you vote for the conservatives you are saying that the environment must suffer in order to ineffectively boost the economy. You are not just supporting TPP (which has its own set of ethical implications, even is Canada appears at first to be a clear winner), you are supporting the destruction of the environment, the dismissal of our multicultural values, and the equality and dignity of women.

Elections are often won on single issues, but in voting on a single issue we quite stupidly forget that the government is not actually run on that single issue.

So, in conclusion, follow your heart, but don't let your heart make a moron out of you.


Happy Tuesday!

-J


Monday, October 5, 2015

The first leaders debate: A (biased) recap

I've just come to realize that I did not post anything after the first leaders debate, which took place in August. I mean, nobody was really thinking about the election that early, myself included. But now that the election is fast approaching, I thought I should post a little recap just in the very likely case that you missed it.

Here are some key points you should know about the first debate according to this very biased commentator:

  1. Elizabeth May effing nailed that shit. It is such a shame that she wsa not included in either of the subsequent debates, because she is such a powerful speaker and an excellent, well-reader critic of the current administration. Her rebuttals to Harper were by far the most on point of all the leaders. 
  2. Mulcair was a bit off in his description of the practicability of his plans (a problem that has since been mitigated in part by his party’s costing report). But he and May were in agreement about the absolute absurdity of lowering taxes for the biggest corporations. They also agreed that raising taxes for every day Canadians is not the solution to our immediate problems.  
  3. May was all "we're in a recession baby!" okay...maybe that didn't deserve quotes. But yes, she came right out of the gate declaring that yes, we are in a recession. We need to make sure our economy doesn’t come to a halt. 
  4. Budget balancing, May rightly pointed out, is not that important in the grand scheme of things. This year it is not pertinent to balance the budget. She was also right on top of criticizing the false budget balance of the current administration. 
  5. All party leaders were really good at focusing on Harper’s shitty record, unlike in the later debates, where Trudeau and Mulcair began scrapping with one another.
  6. May and Trudeau teamed up against Harper about his failure to address the economy, trade barriers, and the environment by partnering with the province.
  7. Harper was incredibly optimistic, in the weirdest and most groundless way possible, about the Keystone pipeline project. Silly Harper. 
  8. Not surprisingly, on the environmental issue, May was the most competent in her criticism of the Conservatives.  
  9. Harper blatantly lied about reducing greenhouse emissions during his administration. The best quote in response to this came from Trudeau who said "nobody believes you!" I sincerely hope this is true, because it is so obviously ridiculously. 
  10. Mulcair made the great point that Harper is hurting our international reputation. Its an obvious point, but he was one of the first to make it. Hurray! Also, his top quote of the night was "I believe that a clean environment and a strong economy do go hand in hand". This is something that he and May obviously agree on, and is something that the other leaders are not so ready to get behind. He also rightly pointed out the problematics of Harper's approach to indigenous peoples, and his scrapping of the environmental regulations including Navigable Waters, and Species at Risk regulations. But, he's been a little flip-floppy on his support and distrust for pipelines. So is Trudeau. May is the only consistent one on this issue. I think of the three leading party members Mulcair presented an excellent argument for objective study and transparency when it comes to developing our natural resources, even if I don't totally agree with his stance.
  11. May made a great point about why a vote for Green is not a wasted vote. She says "instead of fixation in this splitting the vote non-problem...we need to focus on the real problem which is that 40% of Canadians in the last number of elections haven't voted. Vote abandoning in my view is a much bigger problem than vote splitting". I freaking love this lady. 
  12. May also schooled Harper on ISIS. 

That's all I think you need to know. But don't take my word for it. Follow this link to watch it on youtube. 

Happy Tuesday, voting friends!

-J

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Joy! My first Vegan Urthbox!

Today is a freaking awesome day! First, its Thursday which means that I get to go to work with VOMD and weed some gardens. I love getting my hands dirty. Read this awesome article about how bacteria in dirt makes you happy!

Sometimes when you are feeling a bit down (in my case...the down was caused by people be racist all over my Facebook feed...damn Facebook) the universe sends you exactly what you need to pick up up again. In my case, the universe sent me snacks...so many snacks. Thank you universe (...or credit card).

VOMD loves snacks, and unfortunately, his love for snacks is rubbing off on me a little. We recently subscribed to Urthbox to indulge our addiction and is it ever awesome!

Here is our first Urthbox:


They fit a surprising amount into this tiny box. I was prepared to be disappointed when I saw how small it was when I picked it up from the post office yesterday, but disappointed I was not!My conclusion is that Mary Poppins works in the Urth Box packing room.

Here's what was in it (because the above photo was taken with my phone and doesn't really do it all justice):
  1. i heart keenwah Quinoa Puffs, Herbes de Provence flavoured 
  2. Jackson's Honest Potato Chips, Purple Heirloom Kettle Chips cooked in coconut oil
  3. Inca Corn toasted giant corn in "Chile Picante" flavour
  4. Blue Monkey Coconut Chips
  5. 2 packets of Kickers powdered fruit blends (for topping oatmeal etc) in Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana
  6. Smart Candy (vitamin gummy snacks)
  7. You Love Fruit Mango Coconut Fruit leather
  8. Veggie-Go's TropiKale mango Kiwi and Kale chewy fruit and veggie snacks (like fruit leather)
  9. Tutti Gourmet BanaKrisp fruit snacks in Pistachio Anise flavour
  10. Gorilly Goods "Raw fruit & nut things"
  11. FlyJoy snack bar in Cranberry Almond
  12. MamaChia Chia Squeeze "Vitality Snack" in Blackberry Bliss flavour
  13. Icebox Canadian Spring water (water in a carton! weird!)
So, yeah, not only do I get to go get dirty today...but also, SNACKS!

Happy Thursday!

-J

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

How to spot a douchenozzle: A practical guide Part 1

Oh my gosh people piss me off sometimes. You know what I mean, don't you? You're sitting on your couch watching binge watching That 70s Show for the fifth time (at least) and you're scrolling through facebook and some person on your "friends" list has shared this photo:


And you can't help it, but your blood starts to boil. You try to hold yourself back, and you are, for once, successful. Maybe its that your handsome boyfriend is sitting next to you talking about how awesome it is to live in a democratic country where people are accepted no matter what their cultural heritage, or maybe its the double chocolate oatmeal cookie you're scarfing down, but your blood stops boiling and you take a deep breath. But then, the next morning when you're scrolling through facebook again, trying to find our what people are thinking about the debate that happened the night before and your see that the very person who posted the above image has shared a link to a Toronto Sun article about a teenage boy who disguised himself as a niqabi woman and bought alcohol from three different LCBOs in Toronto. Now you don't have your handsome, accepting, vegan boyfriend beside you, and instead of a double chocolate cookie you're drinking a disgusting green smoothie that taste like death even though its supposed to bring you health and vitality and boom! Volcano! You try to stop yourself but its like there is this rampaging feminist, vegan, political activist gremlin inside you that you just fed after midnight and got wet and a waterfall of ranting irritation spills out of you onto his facebook page. And now, you're pretty sure everyone who is friends with him on facebook thinks you're a crazy bitch and you realize that your points are so obviously going to be lost on him and that letting it upset you was such a waste of time...but its too late baby. The seal is broken.

C'mon. We've all been there. Right?

Okay, maybe its just me.

But seriously. When did all these people on my facebook "friends" list become racist conservative buttbags? Did I miss something? Were there warning signs that I missed when befriending them?

Well, after giving it some serious thought I've realized that there weren't just warning signs; there were huge neon, glowing, sometimes flashing warning signs...accompanied by sirens and fireworks. But somehow I glossed over them in my reading of these people.

So, I've produced this list as a helpful guide for all of you who have experienced this same thing; it is for those of us who have befriended people, not noticing at first that they were just not good people.

How to spot a Xenophobe:

  1. When you are having a conversation with someone and they at any time begin a conversation with "I'm not racist but..." then chances are, you are dealing with a racist. Anything not racist does not have to be prefaced with "I'm not racist"...you know, because it will so obviously not be racist.
  2. When you meet someone and they tell you that they don't find _________ skin coloured people sexually appealing, then chances are you are dealing with a racist. You don't have to walk around telling people who you find attractive, and the fact that you feel the need to point out to me that you don't think Obama is sexy as hell (really?! c'mon...look at him!) because you just don't find black people attractive is a sure sign that you're kind of racist. Plus one point if they start their declaration of sexual distaste with "I'm not a racist but..."
  3. If you're talking to someone and they are complaining about how they can't find a job and then they mention illegal immigration in the same sentence, then you're probably dealing with a xenophobe. For example "It really grinds my gears that here I am unemployed when there are people coming here from ______(insert country name) without any papers taking all the good paying jobs from hard working Canadians". Really, unemployed butthead? You really want that job working on the mushroom farm that pays minimum wage and demands 60 hours a week of back breaking labour in order to support your entire family and send money home to the rest of your family in ________(insert country name) to help them come over here to get a "better life" where they can also working 60 hours a week at a mushroom farm doing backbreaking labour for minimum wage? Well, I guess illegal immigrants really are the reason you can't find a job in banking. That makes PERFECT bloody sense. 
  4. If anyone you know says anything similar to "Canada for Canadians"....then, you guessed it, they are probably a xenophobe. This whole line of reasoning is so deeply flawed. A little anecdote: an (ex)friend once told me that he didn't like it that Toronto was so multicultural because it was like Canadians were a minority there. I asked him to explain and he said that it was like for everyone white person there were five non-white people. WHAAATTT?! Turns out all Canadians are white, and all white people in Toronto are Canadian. Good to know, buddy. 
  5. If your friend tells you that they love Indian women because they are always so beautiful and have the nicest skin...guess what...they're also xenophobic! This one might sound a little weird to you because you are thinking but I said I LOVE them, but there is this little thing that this guy Said termed "Orientalism" where we have a tendency to exoticize an entire culture or people based on our limited experience/knowledge. The uncritical exaltation of any culture, people, skin colour, language, or religion is xenophobic, friends. So don't get annoyed when I call you racist for being "super jealous of all the black women at [your] college because they all have the nicest legs/butts/hair/skin/singing voices"; because guess what...that's xenophobia my dear. 
  6. If your talking to someone about national politics and they uncritically keep referring back to ISIS or the terrorist scourge, or the problem of the burqa, then they are most definitely xenophobic.
  7. If any of the above people don't understand that a hijab, niqab, burqa and chador are different things, then not only are your dealing with xenophobe, but you're also dealing with an uninformed idiot. 
Here is an example of the perfect interaction with one of these people:

Xenophobe: I'm not racist or anything but its just that I don't really find black people attractive. I mean, like, but Indian women, they are all super hot. But yeah, so what I was saying earlier about national security, we really have to keep the terrorists out, you know? So we should ban the burqa and make sure that ISIS can't get a stronghold in Canada. And its like a win win because then real Canadians, you know, like white ones, can keep the good jobs too. 

You: *Dropkick*

I usually don't condone violence, but like, maybe it could be a metaphorical drop-kick. I suggest you scroll through your facebook feed right now and delete anyone who makes the above mistakes. You don't need that negative, nasty, idiotic, and downright intolerant bullshit in your life. I don't care that you went to primary school with them, or that their your uncle, or that you like the Chuck Norris memes they post. Drop them like a dirty rag baby. You're better than that.

Oh, and if you catch yourself doing any of the above, stop it! Just because you don't fancy yourself a racist doesn't mean you're incapable of xenophobia. Catch the bad habit now before other people start taking my advice and delete you from their friends list. 

Happy Wednesday!

-J