Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts

Thursday, November 12, 2015

This is a post about the word NO (Consent is sexy)

*Warning: this post is about sex and has mature subject matter that may not be suitable or enjoyable for some people*

A friend sent me a video yesterday that aims to teach people about the concept of consent. It is actually a super brilliant video. It makes a kind of humorous comparison between offering someone tea and offering someone sex. Watch it, if you haven't already.

It is so important that people really grasp the concept of consent. It is not conceptual; it is not negotiable. Yes is yes and no is no. Also, no yes is also no. A yes then a no is also a no. Silence is no. A pressured yes is a no.


I think we all sort of get the concept of consent as it relates to casual sexual relationships...or at least we find it easier to understand. But what so many people still struggle with is the concept of consent in a long term monogamous relationship. 

Let me just start by saying this: It is NOT your responsibility or duty to fulfill your partner's sexual desires. You do NOT have to have sex with your partner if you do not feel like having sex. You do NOT have to do anything sexually with your partner that makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or unhappy.

It is completely absurd that in a regular relationship intimate partners are often expected to continue to have the same sexual interests throughout their entire relationship...and if they don't, they  are expected to fake it. If early in the relationship I'm really into kink and all I want to be tied up, and if I want you to spank me and maybe choke me a bit, if later on I decide that I actually like soft, vanilla, missionary sex more, then I'm being unfair. If in the beginning I tell my partner that I like sex in the morning because it wakes me up and makes me feel energized, then later on I decide that I don't want to have sex in the morning because I'm tired and don't feel well, and stayed up late the night before, or whatever the reason may be, I shouldn't have to hear you say "but you used to like this". 

In the beginning of a relationship sex is often a central theme. You have sex multiple times a day, and are late for meetings and social events because sex is more fun than a night out with friends. But as you are with someone longer, sometimes sex is no longer a priority. If this is the case for one partner and not the other, sometimes one partner will make the other feel shitty about not wanting to have sex: "but I have needs and you are supposed to fulfill them". Sometimes the partner who doesn't want sex will give in and will have sex with their partner even though they don't want to. They will feel pressured, and worry that the other person won't love them anymore if they do not fulfill this apparent "duty". 

But please remember, you do not have to fake it. If you want to fake it, and it makes you happy to fake it, and you do not feel uncomfortable or unhappy faking it, and you have not been pressured or manipulated into faking it, then fine. You always have a choice. But you do not have to and should not be expected to. If you are uncomfortable with something your partner is doing sexually, you should not feel you can not tell them because you are afraid to turn them off or hurt their feelings. ( "If I don't want your finger in my ass, I am going to tell you. I don't care that being criticized makes you soft, it's MY ass.") 

But please know this: you do not have any responsibility to fulfill the sexual desires of your intimate partner. Sex may be a central part of your relationship, and maybe it is even the glue that holds you together, but that does not mean that you have any obligation to put out if you do not want to. If your partner is using guilt to get you to do sexual things, or if you are using guilt to get your partner to do sexual things, it is sexual assault. Submission is not consent. If you say no to your partner and they have sex with you anyway, it is rape. If you are asleep and are awoken by your partner having sex with you without your consent, it is rape. If your partner pressures you, guilts you, or threatens you and you finally give in, this is rape. It is not consent. This is true regardless of gender. 

Please have a conversation with your partner about consent. You do not have to write a formal contract or anything (but in some cases of kink and BDSM this may be a great way to protect both of your interests, and remember that even in kink, there should be a way to tell your partner you've had enough) but ask them what they think about the concept of consent in an intimate relationship. And please don't worry that consent will ruin the mood. Seriously. That makes no sense. Consent is not negotiable. It is required. Always. And in fact, it is hot as hell to know that your sexual partner cares about what you want and how and when you like to be touched. If you're getting busy work consent into your interactions before diving in. It can actually make things way more sexy! Instead of just ripping your partners clothes off, tell them you want to, and ask them if they want you to. Instead of just heading downtown without asking, say you really would like to go down on your partner, and ask them if they want you to. While you're having sex, ask your partner if they like what you are doing. Do you like that? Do you want me to go faster? Do you want me to put this in there? Do you want me to move it around a little?

C'mon. Tell me consent doesn't sound sexy now... I dare you.


Here are some (just a few, but there are seriously countless others) examples of what consent is NOT in an intimate relationship:

  1. Being "wet" or having a boner. Just because your partner is having a physiological reaction to the situation does not mean they want you to do something about it. A no with a boner is still a no. 
  2. Making out and grinding do not mean jump my bones. Your partner may want to make out with you, but that does not give you permission to have sex with them or touch them. If they tell you to not put your hand in their pants right now, then respect that. 
  3. Having had sex yesterday. You may have done it yesterday, and he/she might have liked it, but that does not mean they want it today, tomorrow, or ever again for that matter. 
  4. Having not had sex yet. You are not owed sex. Just because it's been three months or three years does not mean you get to go for it.
  5. Sleepiness. If your partner is exhausted and doesn't have the energy to push you off or say no explicitly, that does not give you permission to go for it. Consent means that both partner must be awake, aware, and in un-pressured, un-manipulated agreement. 
Sex is awesome. It can be fun and beautiful and romantic and wonderful. But it can also be scary and awkward if you feel pressured into doing something that makes you uncomfortable, or that hurts you, just because you and your partner have not had the talk. If your partner threatens you or your relationship's stability because you refuse to do something in the sack, please remember that consent and love are both about mutual respect. If you and your partner are not on the same page about what sex means to your relationship, you have another conversation to have.

from Planned Parenthood instagram

If you think that you are being sexually abused, or if you may wonder whether you have been doing sexual things to your partner that may be sexual assault, please check out this link. 

Happy Thursday, and be safe!

-J


Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Dealing with haters and embracing my "kumbaya vegan"

So, yesterday I wrote a post about 5 things vegans do that annoy me. I could not have possibly predicted the immense hatred that came as responses to that post and while I don't regret posting it, I will say that I am glad my comments section is moderated, because almost all the comments I got were swearing at me, calling me a liar and an idiot, and worse. Needless to say, only those comments that aren't full of cussing and hate will be tolerated on this blog...which sadly means that very few comments get through.

That said, I don't mind it when people disagree with me. I knew that the honey issue was going to get people all crazy, because, lets face it, vegans are passionate folks and I can't blame them for seeing some hypocrisy in my stance on local "ethical" honey.

I shared  that post, just  for fun, on the "Vegan World" Facebook page. I thought it would give some a laugh, and give others something to think about. Sadly, I am embarrassed to say that I took it down an hour later because of the onslaught of anger that it instigated, one of the least hurtful of which read:

"What a whinefest. How about "necrovore?" Literally, "eaters of death." I prefer that. What's not to be negative about, while billions are living in abject suffering and being slaughtered in the most unimaginable ways? Kumbaya vegans...making friends and being popular. What about the animals, you say?

Well...irk away on the fact that she eats honey, and believes that there is such a thing as "cruelty-free" silk and wool. For anyone out there that doesn't know any better, that is not a vegan. She's a liar, and the reason why people are so very confused about what the word means. She's not even a DIETARY vegan lol". 

I also got a couple: "You're the reason nobody takes vegans seriously"s and more than a  couple "You're not even vegan"s.

(I share these, only because they  get the point across that I'm a moron without swearing at me or calling me names.)

I'm okay with this. So, maybe according to this woman I am a liar, and perhaps I am not really a vegan. But I love the planet. I love the animals on it, and that includes humans. I refuse to be the type of person who puts shit out into the world and expects it to turn to gold. The animals don't need a bunch of angry, mean, and hateful people on their side. They need kind people who are  willing to listen and teach and even learn from others.

The perfect example of this that I can think of are the people who run Piebird Vegan Farmstay. I met Yan and Sherry a few years ago, when I was a new vegan working for the Nipissing University Peace Research Initiative and I had the joy of filming an interview with them. They take in farm animals - chickens, a turkey, and lots of happy goats (and recently built some homes for some bees to live in peace!) - and invite their guests to interact with and help care for the animals. They spoke about peace, about being in nature, about how we can learn so much from the animals about love, friendship and joy. Yes, they are activists and they fight for animals. Yes, they completely disagree with animal suffering in any form.  But they offer a place where people can come and learn about veganism in a safe and peaceful environment, free from hate and judgement.

I would love it if we could take a page from their book and continue to love other humans as  much as we love animals.

If this makes me a "kumbaya vegan", and if being a "kumbaya vegan" makes me some  how less worthy of respect than other "perfect vegans", then I think I'm okay with that.

Actually, I'm thinking of retiring the word vegan from my vocabulary and just calling myself a good damn person. (I'm just kidding. I'm vegan, haters!)


Happy Wednesday!


-J


Tuesday, August 4, 2015

5 things vegans do that irk me

EDIT: First, I don't think there is any such thing as ethical silk or ethical wool, so please actually read the blog if you're going to send me hate messages referencing it. Second, I maintain that it is wrong to criticise and berate people who choose to live ethically, even if they maintain minor caveats (i.e. they use "ethical silk" or "ethical wool".

I tend to like crappy vegan people even more than I like super nice non-vegans. This is a bad habit and I am working on extending my love outward a little bit and becoming more understanding of people's shortcomings.

Nonetheless, there are still a few things that lots of vegans do that really irk me (yes, I'm guilty of some of these as well). Lately I have shared a lot about the things that non-vegans say and do that get me down, but vegans aren't perfect either.


  1. Calling non-vegans carnivores: This is just silly, and totally plays into the completely manufactured scientific argument that non-vegans make for continuing their murderous ways. A carnivore is an organism that subsists entirely on flesh/meat. Humans are not carnivores, though we have become omnivorous - meaning that we derive energy from both  flesh and plants.  Stop calling meat-eating humans carnivores. 
  2. Focusing on the people who suck, rather than the people that don't: This isn't really a vegan problem, per se. I find that we live in a  time  of immense egotism and self importance. We think that we are smarter than everyone else. We think that everyone else is a moron. Everyone else is the reason that the world is the way that it is. When we become vegan, it becomes all too easy to place all of the blame for all the world's ills on non-vegans. And just like when you hear a song for the first time, and then you notice it everywhere, so too do you start to notice all the crappy stuff that people do after you become vegan. This is incredibly unhealthy and can lead to defeatism - the militant vegan's worst nightmare! 
  3. Only making friends with other vegans: We are obviously going to be attracted to like-minded people, in the same way that surfers hang around with other surfers, and foodies make friends with foodies, so too is is natural for vegans to make vegan friends. But because of #2, we sometimes find ourselves rejecting our non-vegan friends...and this isn't cool. How do you hope to have an influence on others if you fence yourself off from regular people? 
  4. Criticising other vegans: Now, I am just as guilty of this as many others, but we really have to stop criticising our vegan brethren. We can't all agree on everything. For example, I eat local honey, and I know some vegans who will wear "cruelty free silk" (Ahimsa Silk), and "cruelty free wool" (Non-Mulesed) from time to time. On the other hand, there are lots of vegans  who do not think that we should use anything that comes from living creatures, including manure from companion animals, or the naturally shed feathers of companion birds. All of these are perfectly valid ways of being vegan. We all believe in living compassionately, not killing, not torturing, and not taking advantage of any species. Even though I do not agree with people using silk, no matter how it's cultivated, nor wool that is produced on farms for profit (I'm in the air about wool that is harvested from companion animals) I know that my fellow vegans are doing their best and I must try not to criticise them. For one thing, this opens me up to criticism as well, and for another, there is a very fine line between criticism and disparagement. Disparagement is the enemy of intelligent conversation and personal growth. Intelligent debate is fine, but don't be a dick.
  5. Hating everything: This is  linked closely with #2 and like #2, we all  do it, not just vegans (bahahahaha...the eight year old in me just cracked up a little). I do find that lots of the vegans I have met, though, are Negative Nancies, especially those who I met in the North, where vegans are fewer and farther between than in the big city. I get it. When you're the only vegan you know, its hard to not get down on the world. They don't think that there is hope for the planet. They are kind of hermits. They have bad attitudes. They bitch all the time. They never talk about beautiful sunsets and they never tell funny stories. Everything sucks. I dated a guy like this briefly, and while it was nice to be with a vegan, it was really difficult to remain positive and joyful with that negativity around you all the time. I firmly believe that you get back what you put out into the world. If you're a grumpy jerk, then the world will be a dark place; if you're positive, then the world will be bright. 

Simple.

Also, look! I made a new friend!



Happy Tuesday!

-J

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Cecil the Lion...

Sometimes I just want to go on a punching spree and just lose it on  the world around me. I mean, yes, I always try to refrain from being the psycho vegan  weirdo who hate everyone, but  just now and then (especially when I'm feeling hormonal) something happens in the world that takes the internet by storm and causes me to question whether it is worth it for me to leave  the house any day.

Let me start by saying that I am obviously heartbroken by the death of Cecil the Lion - if you don't know about Cecil the Lion, check out this article or just do a quick Google search. Essentially, an American dentist went over to Africa and paid someone to let him kill a famous protected lion. Horrible, I know. There really is no way to justify this, and I am heartened to see that the majority of the internet is freaking out about it.

But if you remember my previous post about the giraffe killer who joyfully posed with her victim, outraging strangers across the globe, you will recall that to me, and many people like me, it makes absolutely no damn sense that we would be so disgusted with the murder of a lion, or an elephant, or a giraffe, and yet happily scarf down a double bacon cheeseburger on our lunch break, with a half litre carton of chocolate milk!There is so much research that tries to explain why we love  some animals and kill others... but none of it really gets to the heart of the issue for me...that it...our hearts. None of it really explains it for me. It all just seems like rationalization.

Why is it so difficult for us to see  the similarities between the destructiveness and cruelty in ourselves yet so  easy to see these very same traits in others?

I'm feeling very emotional today so I really have nothing else to say except to urge you to start thinking a bit more about the way that you treat the animals in your lives - and those that come across your plates - every time  you start to get a little rattled by some jerky hunter who travels to another continent to kill so-called "majestic", or "exotic" creatures.

-J

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Having your period should be free

Warning everyone, this wacky feminist is about to talk about...menses!

So, I don't know if you're aware of this but every single month, the average woman has this thing that happens to her body without her having any right to choose how, when or for how long it happens. It's the menstrual period and every year women spends between $4 and $15 (before tax)  a month on menstrual products like tampons, and pads to wick away this problem.  That's somewhere between $48 and  $180 dollars a year. Now, figuring that the average woman starts menstruating around 12 years old, and continues to have their period until they are  at least 45-55 (and more than 60 for some!),  that can be as much as $8640 per lifetime on feminine hygiene.

Okay, so that doesn't really seem like that much money in the long run, especially spread out throughout 40 to  50 years, but it does represent a very problematic inequality that of late people are starting to take note of.

Tampons and pads in Canada are now GST free (as of July 1st). In some ways  this is a huge victory!In others, it makes absolutely no effing sense. Fist, just throwing it out there people: I love taxes and firmly believe that if we  want to live in a better country that gives a shit about its people we have to stops thinking of "taxes" as a dirty word. We should tax everything, including groceries. This would increase government revenue and with the right leadership, lead to better public services! Second, taking away the GST on tampons is one of those things that the government can do relatively easily without risking too much moo-la. The largest portion of the population are the baby boomers, and guess what,  they aren't menstruating any more! The proportion of the population that are menstruating adult women is the smallest its been in...well, I don't know how long. But it's been a while. This is still a minor moral victory, but its not the huge victory  that we need.

But this victory did not win us the war... Yes, this saves the average woman a little bit of money, and begins to address the problem, but when it  comes down to it its a bit absurd that women have to pay for tampons at all. Canada has free healthcare for everyone, and any necessary medicine, product or procedure that cannot be done without should be funded by the government. In the same way that I can just decide  tomorrow to get an ultrasound f my hip, I should also be able to walk into any publicly funded wash-room and grab some free feminine products when I'm in need. (And for you conservative budget-minded naysayers, here's a little tip, if we stopped seeing taxes as burdens then the government could afford this no problem!)

The big problem is that we think of this as dirty talk. We're  not supposed to talk about things that come out of our vaginas, unless we're talking about a cute baby. We  are supposed to go about our days pretending that we're  not in horrible pain  from menstrual cramps, and we're supposed to pretend that we don't have to wear a diaper sized maxi pad on heavy days to avoid any accidental leakage. We're supposed to ignore the obvious discomfort it causes to get infections and allergic reactions to certain low quality feminine products that are the only ones we can afford while we're in university or taking care of our families, or working a dead end job to try to make a better life for ourselves.

Don't talk about your period. It's gross. Oh, I'm sorry, is this natural thing  that happens to me and is beyond my control offensive to you? Suck a lemon.

But we should talk about it more. We should scream it from the rooftops - if you'll excuse the cliché - and we should demand that the government fund high quality, preferably organic and chemical free, feminine hygiene products to menstruating women.

It just makes sense.

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, July 27, 2015

Dear Ex-Vegans: Stop acting like your're smarter than the rest of us

If you’ve been vegan for any amount of time you’ve probably met a few ex-vegans, and you’ve heard all their explanations for going back to their previous lifestyles. Bloggers a plenty  have talked about become ex-vegans. They all sound frustratingly intelligent and  thoughtful. They say "I used to be like you" or... "you remind me of me when I was younger",  implying that your ethical lifestyle is a result of youthful idealism and will pass once you grow up and grow out of it. 

They tell you things like “if you do the research, it is abundantly clear that it is NOT POSSIBLE for most humans to get the nutrition they need on a strict vegan diet” (See article here) and talk about how they didn't like the person they became when they went vegan, saying stuff like: “I became aware of how enraged and difficult I was. Over the past few years, I didn't have much compassion toward fellow humans, and I blamed them for factory farming and their lack of consciousness. I demanded that my friends and family go to vegan restaurants and questioned them for their eating habits constantly” (article here). I respect these people because they made a choice to alter they way they lived their lives, however briefly, and in the long run, they still had a very positive impact on the world. But at the same time, I get so sad because  they do not present you with  facts, but their anecdotal experiences, based on unhealthy choices, and Google searches. I have to say that I am a bit tired of hearing ex-vegans talk like they are so much smarter than us vegans because they've been through vegan healthy hell and came out the other side happily munching on meat and feeling morally validated. 

My responses to these two writers (from the above cited articles) are as follows:

First, my own anecdotal evidence. I have been vegetarian for 9 years now and vegan for three. I feel healthy, strong and happy. I struggle with mild skin problems, but aside from this I am happy with my body and my appearance. I have excellent blood pressure, healthy digestion, and excellent levels of iron. My DHA and EPA levels are perfect, but if I ever see a dip I can take a supplement made from laboratory produced microalgae. I do not take B12 but have in the past and I do not see this as a particularly vegan problem. My eldest non-vegan sister is in her thirties and has dismally low B12 stores so she has to take a B12 supplement every day. The fact that I am energetic and healthy without one,  but take one now and then when I get spooked searching the internet is a good sign, I think.

Some not so anecdotal evidence: Vegetarians have lower levels of many cancers ranging from pancreatic, to bowel, to multiple myeloma (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24898235). Vegans, if eating a well-balanced diet and visiting the doctor regularly for blood tests and physicals, see an increase in energy and maintain healthy body weights easier than non-vegans. So many amazing sources on the internet exist to show you how to deal with basic problems some people face when transitioning away from eating animal products. Many of  the problems people face come from not  eating a balanced diet full of good, unprocessed sugars, healthy fats and high protein foods like whole grains, nuts,  leafy greens, and beans. Here’s a great  one: http://www.vegkitchen.com/nutrition/vegan-athlete/

Second,  I am not a dick. If you become a dick when you go vegan, its  probably just that you were already a dick, and being calorie deficient due to poor food choices, and therefore pissy made your dickiness shine through. If you don't eat enough, you're bound to get a bit hangry. 

Despite stereotypes to the contrary, some of the most fun, whacky, loving, peaceful and all around wonderful people I have ever met are vegans; I and most other vegans do not hate humanity; I and most other vegans do not try to change my/their family and friends – except when I know it will make them feel better to eat a damn carrot once in a while – and in general  I would say that I am a god-damn delight to be around. I am not preachy. I would say I have two non-vegan best friends and neither of them hate being around me nor do they feel pressured by my lifestyle. In fact, they have done their own research and know that the way I am living my life is a healthy, happy one that is good for the planet. They don’t need me to tell them that! Even my grandmother, who has eaten meat her whole life came to a vegan restaurant with VOMD and I and told me afterward that she really liked it and is glad that I am living healthily. VOMD’s grandma and his great aunt,  both over 60,  have admitted that they have often thought of being vegetarian because they don’t really like meat anyway, and when they eat meat they face problems like colitis and body aches.

Admittedly, there are some of us that don’t go vegan the healthy way. We eat chips and Oreos and any vegan junk food we can get our hands on. But there are plenty of non-vegans who eat just as shitty as   bad-health vegans; the difference is, the vegans are trying to save the world, not just themselves.

There are also some vegans who are dicks. But the ratio to vegan buttfaces to non-vegan buttfaces is probably about equal. You don't become nice just because you stop eating animals - though the choice to not eat animals is sure a nice one!

Most of us go vegan because we love animals. Like a mother that risks her life for her child, many vegans happily submit to poor health so long as they are not hurting animals.  If tomorrow I was faced with the choice between eating a steak and dying of some kind of crazy vegan-only disease… I have to admit that I would gladly take death. But given that I am not in that position… I guess we’ll never really know if I’m all talk, or if I actually am that much of a raging vegan.

I love the planet. I love animals. I love my fellow human beings. And I am happy to say that being vegan has made all of those loves stronger.  

Happy Monday everyone!


-J

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Dietary Veganism?

I need to just rant a little bit right now, and I know that it is going to annoy some people. I am a member of a page/group on Facebook dedicated to connecting vegans in Hamilton and I have thus far loved reading  about peoples' experiences of being vegan in Hamilton and found it overall very helpful in finding community events, food, and so forth in the city. However, recently there have been some arguments about the definition of veganism and it has caused quite a ruckus, leading the admins to state that they  would like such talk to cease.  Some members have been  rightly irritated by the Hamilton Halton Animal Liberation Front (HALT)'s support of native hunting rights, and have started exploring why and how supporting such an organization is against vegan values. Others disagree vehemently. Some names have been thrown around back and forth.

I wouldn't dare put my voice in there, because I honestly don't like to be that person who argues with others on the internet. Sometimes, though, I wish I were less shy because while I was reading all the arguments on the above-mentioned page I wanted to type, in big, obnoxious capital letters "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A DIETARY VEGAN!"

Recently there is a trend of people deciding to eat vegan. I totally respect their dietary choices, and at the core, I am pleased that they are saving animals, even if that  is not their reason for going "vegan". But, there is just one thing that I feel vehemently about: if you eat animal products, if you wear leather or fur, if you think there is nothing problematic about silk or wool, then you are not a vegan. Period. Veganism is first and  foremost a philosophy of  compassion. We avoid to the greatest extent that we can the exploitation of any animal. We do it not because we want to lose weight; we do it not because we think it makes our skin look  great; we do it not because we have a  partner who is vegan, so we want to make them happy. We do it because we love every single creature on the planet.


THIS is why I'm vegan. Tobi is one of my best friends. My cats are also my best friends. I love my animal companions, and I see no difference ethically between them and farmed animals, or the wild animals that people hunt. They deserve a life of dignity and joy, just as do humans.

That's just my two cents.

Happy Tuesday


-J

Friday, June 19, 2015

Responses to Questions from Non-Vegans

As a vegan you get asked so many questions about your lifestyle. Some are genuine. Some serious, some way too invasive, and others are just plain stupid.

Inspired by my sister's sassy, sarcastic, and mostly just smart responses to stupid comments from non-vegans (read it here!), I have decided to share some from my own experience.

Q:  How do you live off of just vegetables?

A: I know it's  super confusing that the words vegetarian and vegan have the same root word as vegetable, but  this does not  mean that all I do  is eat carrots and celery all day. I eat a well-balanced  diet full of vegetables, fruits, seeds, nuts, beans, grains, herbs, and more.

Q: Why is all vegan food so weird?

A: I have literally seen meat eaters consume pig ears, deep friend pig skin, intestines (sausages anyone?), blood pudding, and fish ovum. Yuck. So, I'm sorry if my faux meat made of wheat protein and blended chickpeas sounds "weird" to you.

Q:  Is that why you're so skinny? (yeah, stole this one...but c'mon)

A: First, my BMI is in the healthy range and I have had the same body type since I was 17 years old when my ass started filling out and my boobs stopped growing. Second, I am not even a little bit skinny. My hip measurement is 41 inches. If your ass were as big as mine the last thing you would refer to yourself as would be skinny.  Not being overweight like the average Westerner does not mean I'm skinny. It means I'm at a significantly reduced risk for diabetes and heart disease.

Q: Why don't you stop eating plants too?  Their technically alive, aren't they?

A: Yes, they are alive. But when you show me a plant that cries when you take it's babies away, who run from its assailants, and who bleeds when you shoot it with one of those shitty but apparently 'humane' nail guns that are used to slaughter cows, then I promise I won't eat that plant, okay?

Q:  Isn't it hard to not eat meat?

A: Is it hard for you to not jump off a bridge!? But seriously, is it hard for you to not eat your couch? It is super difficult for you to stop yourself from going to town on that delicious, scrumptious little morsel you leave in your damn toilet bowl every morning? Believe it or not, I don't find animal products remotely appealing. The smell of bacon doesn't make my mouth water; it makes me gag. And watching someone chow down on a bowl of chocolate iced cream, or drinking a glass of whole milk, or slicing up a big chunk of cheese does not make me want to take it from them and shove it into my face. it makes me want to show them pictures of where that shit  came from and watch them try to keep it down when they see the amount of puss and blood that is in every single one of those products. And furthermore, I am not a f*cking child and have developed the tiniest amount of this  thing called self control. It's  the same thing that stops  me from slapping you in the face when you ask me this stupid question. So, even if I did find that crap remotely appealing, I have the presence of mind to not turn into a complete psycho and consume every piece of meat in sight.

Q: So, do you swallow?

A: I hate  you. You're disgusting. Go away.

Q: Do you feed your cat meat?

A: Yes. I DO feed my carnivorous animal companions animal products. Yes, It breaks my  heart. Yes, I gag every single time I open one of those cans of blended, nasty, gooey flesh. No, I don't think this makes me a bad vegan; it makes me a good cat caregiver. If there was a healthy alternative for my animal friends, then I would choose that option instead, but I care about the health of all animals and sadly this requires some sacrifice on my part.

Q: Why are you such a picky eater?

A: I literally am willing to consume every single things on the planet that is actually food. You will NEVER hear me complain about a vegan meal, even if it is made of (gag) eggplant or (gag more) chickpea flour. Animals, like rocks, or babies, or fibreglass, or picture frames, are not food. On the other hand, I know numerous meat eaters who won't eat almost any vegetables, or bread that isn't made  of bleached-beyond-recognition white flour, and who have kids who refuse to eat anything except hot dogs on white buns with ketchup.  Yet, in spite of this,  I'm picky. 


Q: Did you know that chickens lay eggs even if you don't eat them? Isn't  that a waste.

A: I also ovulate regularly, and I've just been flushing  my ovum down the toilet every month. Would you like me to save my periods for you? No? That's not the same thing? Yes it is. Suck a lemon.

Q: Why do you still eat honey if you're a vegan?

A: First, why do you still wear pants if you're a woman? See how shitty it is to be asked stupid, demeaning questions? Second, I only eat locally produced honey from apiaries that are as cruelty free as possible (yes, I have visited the farm from which I buy my honey). I don't, though, eat sugar that is produced using bone char, buy anything made of silk, and I don't wear wool. I'm pretty sure on the scale of completely vegan to psychotic serial animal murderer, I'm closer to vegan. So, forgive me for not specifying that I am completely vegan except  for this one thing that I do that not all vegans agree with. I will also say, that of the vegans I have met since becoming vegan myself in 2011, only about three of 500 refuse  to eat honey; and even those three didn't ask me why I call myself vegan but still eat honey.

Q: I could NEVER be vegan. (OK, this isn't really a question.)

A: First, I really don't care whether or not you could ever be vegan. Did I tell you that you have to be? No. No I did not. (But let's be honest, you should be). Second, yes you really, really could.



That's it (well...not really it but that's all I can bare to share without pulling my hair out).

On another note, here's a super cute picture of my friend Lego. She's kind of amazing, even though she eats everything in sight and hates having her nails cut.



Happy Friday!

-J

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

My amazing vegan sister's smartass responses to questions from Non-Vegans

So, it's been a million years again, since I have posted here. I've been very busy working on my thesis and searching for a part time job (with no luck, which is really beginning to grind my gears).

Anyhow, because I am lazy and can't bring myself to write anything worth reading, I'm borrowing someone else's awesomeness. My insanely awesome and wacky hippie sister is also a vegan. Living with a family that consumes more than the average amount of  grilled beef, I cannot explain to you the amount of joy it brings me to have a sister who completely understands and adheres to a vegan lifestyle.
-- Side note: we both became vegan around the same time...without having spoken to one another in months! We have always been weirdly on the same wavelength. --

She recently posted this to Facebook and I asked if I could share it here.

If you're vegan, hopefully this will be helpful to you. If you're not vegan, hopefully this will help you to get your damn shit together.

Anyone who has been vegan for more than a day knows that the simple act of being vegan seems to piss people off, leaving you subject to a barrage of stupid questions, glorious hypotheticals, and “hilarious” jokes. So, as much as everyone who asks me these questions would love to believe that they are the first to throw some fact about protein or question about a desert island in my face, I have sadly been answering these questions for 4 years now and have developed a wide array of responses to them. Below are the various ways in which I deal with people who think that they have thought more about veganism than I have. Some answers are serious, some are sassy, and it all depends who is asking.

Where do you get your protein?

1. Where do you get your vitamin k?
2. How about this: you don't ask me about my protein, I won't ask you about your cholesterol.
3. Which amino acids do you think are missing from my diet?
4. Protein is in everything. Even lettuce is 33% protein.
5. Peas, quinoa, nuts, beans, chickpeas, tempeh, tofu, edamame, leafy greens, broccoli, hemp, chia seeds, sesame seeds, poppy seeds,sunflower seeds, seitan (delicous seitan....), every non-dairy milk ever, and any soy product or veggie meat you have ever seen.
6. "If a varied diet sufficient in calories is consumed, it's virtually impossible to get an inadequate protein intake." - Dr. T Colin Campbell, co-author of The China Study.

What if you were stranded on a desert island and all there was to eat were the animals. Would you eat them then?

1. What if you lived in civilization and had an array of delicious cruelty-free foods to choose from; would you still support animal slaughter?
2. It's 2015 and I live in Canada, I am obviously not going to be stranded on a desert island.
3. If you're trying to gauge at what point an animal's life becomes less worthy than my own, I could do the same thing with any appendage of yours. “What if you were rock climbing, fell, got your arm pinned under a rock, and the only way to survive was by cutting your arm off. Would you??” I would not then say something like “well there, see, it obviously doesn't mean much to you if you'd cut it off in a life or death situation, so why not just cut it off now?”

I could never do that.

1. I never get tired of hearing that.
2. I used to say the same thing – when I was 15 and thought the world was all about whatever I wanted.
3. You could very easily if you knew how many delicious substitutes there were, how much better you would feel, and if you cared at all about what the animal you're eating went through and the environmental toll your habits are taking.

God put animals here for us to eat!

1. If God sanctioned the torture that I have seen in slaughterhouse footage, that would make God a SOCIOPATH and I am not comfortable living under that kind of management.
2. Really? Because as much as it has been a LONG time since church for me, I think I remember Adam and Eve lovingly tending to the animals in the garden.
3. Isn't one of the commandments “thou shalt not kill”? And I don't think it was amended with “unless you're furry, fluffy, scaly, or don't stand upright”.
4. To quote Jamie Kilstein, God put babies here too, and he didn't exactly leave specific instructions for either.
5. There are many groups of vegan Christians that make the argument that there was no animal abuse in the garden of Eden and that veganism is a way of peace, which is what God would want. I am obviously way out of my element here, but that makes a lot more sense to me.

I had a friend that was vegan once, and he/she got really sick.

1. Really? Because I have never heard of a meat eater getting sick. Yep, heart disease,obesity, high cholesterol and colon cancer are obviously things that meat eaters never have to worry about...
2. As with any human being living in the world and making food choices, any diet you have can be healthy or unhealthy. Yes, it is harder to be unhealthy as a vegan, but Fudgee-O's, Oreos, and most potato chips are vegan, which makes them a danger to all of us!
3. I am fondly reminded of the poem Carla recited in Scrubs: “If meat is your treat, your esophageal varices will bleed into your intestines,causing you to digest your own blood, leading to a horrible, horrible death.”

But what about bacon?

1. Please go kill yourself immediately.
2. What about it?
3. If I want salty grease (which we all do) I eat something else that is salty and greasy.
4. Haven't you ever seen the movie Babe?!
5. To ignore the entirety of a moral argument for some food item that you “like”is at best like talking to a 5 year old, at worst the kind of self-serving hedonism that I watch whenever I accidentally see a clip of Fox news.

But we are animals, and animals always eat other animals. Would you tell a bear not to hunt?

1. I wouldn't ask a bear to make a moral decision because they don't have the capacity to think critically about their mass consumption of products or the kind of societal constructs that they have put in place. But for as long as you want to live in fancy houses, have a government, and be having this argument on your Mac laptop, you need to acknowledge that we are an advanced species and have moral abilities that other bears do not have.
2. Animals also eat shit, kill their young, and mount others to impregnate them willy nilly whenever they feel like it. Are these behaviours you think we should mirror? Or would you not, in those cases, argue that we are advanced enough to have laws against rape, murder, and....well, not shit eating, but you get the drift.

People are MEANT to eat meat.

1. Really? Then why do vegans live longer?
2. Really? Because the China study suggests differently.
2. We actually have herbivorous intestines and are meant to be digesting plant foods.Yes, obviously we are able digest animals, but it can lead to things like constipation at best, and colon cancer at worst. Our insistence on eating animals is putting a strain on the health care system.
4. I am always flummoxed by the use of “meant” to. As though if this were some base animal urge of ours we could never get over it. It would be like saying we are “meant” to kill one another because we get angry and exhibit violent tendencies, or saying men are “meant” to sexually dominate women. Aren't we grown up enough now as a species to get past that and start letting our heads have a bigger say than our mouths and genitals?
5. To quote Gary Yourofsky – put an apple and a bunny rabbit in a playpen with a toddler, and call me when the toddler eats the bunny and plays with the apple.
6. Then why is it that we don't find roadkill extremely appetizing and jump out of our cars to lap up the blood and chew on the intestines of that delicious dead animal? Why do we have to season and heat meat to make it appealing to us?

What about these here canine teeth?

1. Oh those things? Yeah, I use those for apples, carrots, nuts, and all of the other hard plant foods we all eat.
2. Have you ever seen a gorilla? Massive canines, massive herbivore.
3. The idea behind saying “I have the equipment, so I will obviously use it to harm others” is like saying “if I weren't meant to sexually assault women, why do I have this big ol' dong?”

Cows NEED to be milked, why do you think you're helping them by not consuming dairy?
(Yes, this was said to me)

1. Cows don't walk around in nature exploding without man's ever so helpful touch. No animal exists in conjunction with the human race,relying on us to suck out their secretions.
2. Cows are pregnant for 9 months (sound familiar?) and when they give birth they produce breast milk for their babies. THAT is the milk you are taking, the breast milk for the calf. The calf gets NONE of it (standard practice), and is either killed for veal if he is male, or held until she is able to be impregnated to go through the same thing as her mother (whom she will never meet). They are hooked up to machines, sucked dry until they are bleeding and oozing copious amounts of puss, and then killed.
3. If I ever had a baby, I would technically “need” to be milked in the same way as a cow. It would be uncomfortable to not be giving that breast milk to my baby, at least at first. Would you, ever so helpfully, throw my baby into a grinder and suckle me dry for your cheese and ice cream? Otherwise I might explode.

Don't you feel weak and tired all the time?

1. *Do some sweet air kicks and squat thrusts*.
2. The food I eat is full of the most bio-available energy. My body doesn't have to work nearly as hard to break it down. I therefore have much more energy than before.
3. You mean to suggest that after that turkey dinner of yours, or after that big sweaty steak, you think you will have more energy than me?
4. Have you ever seen a natural carnivore? An animal with short intestines that is actually meant to be eating other animals? Let's say, your cat. Or a tiger. What do they do with most of their day? Sleep! Because digesting blood and a rotting carcass takes a serious toll on the body, it is hard work for your body to break it down!

But soy has estrogen!

1. You watch too much Big Bang Theory, and I can't take you seriously.
2. It actually doesn't have estrogen, it has isoflavones, or “phyto-estrogens”, which are incredibly good for you, especially if you are male, because it bonds to testosterone and helps to ward off things like testicular or prostate cancer.
3. We don't absorb hormones from plants, we absorb hormones from animals. After eating steak and some cheese, you have just absorbed a large female animal and drank her breast milk. How much estrogen do you think you just consumed there?
4. Are you really concerned with soy and not at all concerned with all of the hormones, antibiotics, and who knows WHAT preservatives in the dead animals and animal secretions you are eating?!
5. So what? Don't eat soy. Lot's of vegans don't.
6. Vegan diets are not new – lots of religions and other cultures have been vegetarian or vegan since the dawn of time (my personal favourite, badass Pythagoras. You're welcome, math nerds). What do you think happens to these people? You can look back and just see them sprouting breasts or becoming races of non-reproductive effeminate individuals that died out, limp-wristed with shrivelled testicles? Obviously not. Jaynes, Hindus, and many other cultures that are meatless have survived perfectly well, and yes, their testicles remain untarnished by that offensive estrogen.
7. Sexual politics of meat anyone?

Oh, you're vegan,that's why you're SO skinny.

1. I don't know why people think it's okay to comment on my body and tell me that they find it unacceptable. I would never look at you and outright say “oh,you're a meat eater? That's why you're so fat, that's why your skin sags, that's why you have pimples, that's why you produce more mucus,that's why your sweat stinks like some salty chemical sludge.”
2. You're right, my veganism IS why I am at a healthy body weight with very low fat.
3. I actually weighed less as an anaemic meat eater, so there goes that theory.
4. I am actually“slender” because I pay attention to what I put into my body and because I live an active lifestyle and do aerobics for roughly an hour a day.

Why don't you care about humans/ I don't think it's right to be talking about animal rights when there are still starving children in the world.

1. You will find that people who care about animal suffering obviously also care about human suffering. Empathy doesn't occur in a vacuum, it's not like we have a finite amount to give, saying “well I care about this disenfranchised suffering group, but not that disenfranchised suffering group.”
2. That's like saying “oh, you work with the hearing impaired? Why do you not care about the visually impaired!”
3. What are you doing for starving children?Because I am choosing a sustainable food source that could help wipe out world hunger. The billions upon billions of animals that get farmed consume fresh grains and fresh water and expel a lot of waste.That means that you consume roughly ten times the acreage of land per year that I do, and even more of the fresh water while actively polluting the water and the air,the same water and air that those children you are attempting to stand up for need to live. Wouldn't you rather those fresh crops and fresh water be going to those children than into those mass produced animals we keep creating and consuming?

But we need to eat animals for population control!

1. We mass produce animals to far beyond what they would do in nature.We never worry about the population of giraffes or monkeys,because we don't eat them, and therefore we don't breed them en mass.Left alone, cows, chickens, and pigs would breed the normal amount and we wouldn't need to worry about their population. We have created an unsupportable amount of farmed animals. Have you ever looked at a factory farm? They would never breed that much themselves.
2. The population that is the most out of control is clearly our own. We seem to be the only species that doesn't self-regulate. And yet, I wouldn't suggest killing people and eating them to keep it under control. And not just because in this fucked up consumerist society we would end up over-breeding them to keep eating and wind up with 8xthe population we had before the cannibalism.

I don't care about eating meat because I don't like animals.

1. Well, most days I don't much care for humans, but I still wouldn't go out and kill them.
2. People go vegan for a wide array of reasons, not just animal ethics. Environmental reasons and health reasons are right up thereon the legitimate list of reasons why people go vegan. Ultimately, I don't think animals care why you don't kill them.
3. You don't like all animals?You're obviously a dangerous nutcase.

No, I obviously wouldn't eat my cat and dog, but farm animals are different.

1. How? In what way?
2. Can't you see that this is a fucked up ontology that we have imposed? Saying “this group is food, this group gets loved.” And it isn't based on anything – pigs are smarter than dogs, baby chicks are as cute as they come. It's just a societal construction, and one that we need to break through.
3. People have pigs, chickens, and cows as pets all the time. Go look on youtube, you'll see videos of chickens purring, cows cuddling people,and pigs joyfully trotting along behind people and going for walks with people and their dogs.
4. It scares me when people think this way – take a species and divide it up based on completely arbitrary qualities. It's like saying “this colour of people matter, this colour does not. Why? I don't know,they all think and feel the same, but that is just how it is, and that is how it always has been.”
5. Your dog and the farmed pig have the same ability to suffer. That's why there is no difference.

I am more concerned with the environment.

1. Oh really? Are you aware that not eating one small 100 gram piece of steak saves2,025 litres of fresh water? Are you aware that it takes roughly 10acres of fresh land and water to support you per year, whereas it takes 0.25 acres to support the average vegan? Are you aware that 70%of our fresh grains and fresh water is going into the animals you are eating? Are you aware that methane is almost 20x more potent as a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide is? Are you aware that the carbon footprint per week of a person eating only onemeaty meal per day is 188 metres squared? Are you aware that the shit of farmed animals is the number one cause of water pollution? Are you aware that I could drive a damn hummer and still be more of an environmentalist than you?
2. You cannot be a meat eating environmentalist. That is a wild contradiction. It would be like me being an animal lover who joyfully works in a slaughterhouse.
3. *Laugh in their face until they go away.*

But what about your leather shoes?

1. My shoes aren't leather, my shoes are actually made from sustainable hemp and a tire(true story).
2. You'd be surprised how many shoes are accidentally vegan, even shoe companies like NewBalance use man-made materials. Also, vegan shoe companies like Moo Shoes make very convincing and durable substitutes.
3. Let's say they were – so what? Perhaps these are my old shoes that I am still wearing out, shoes that I purchased as a meat eater or before I was more aware. Does that make the message I am saying any less worthwhile?
4. Ad Hominem anyone?
5. So? If I am wearing leather on my feet, does that mean I am wrong about factory farmed animals? If I can't be perfect, if my used car has leather seats, does that mean I should just say “to hell with it” and start killing animals again? That's like saying “well, you don't beat your children, but that shirt was from Wal-Mart, so you obviously support child labour and cruelty to children, so you might as well go home and beat your kids. Can't be perfect across the board? Why bother.”
6. Acknowledge that them trying to bring you down to their level will not work. People will always try to point out that you are just as bad as them, but you are actively trying to make a difference. If you have one pair of leather shoes, but they aren't doing anything for animals, who should really walk away feeling like an asshole? Obviously not you.

What about plants, don't they have feelings?

1. No. No they don't.
2. *Laugh in their face.*
3. If you are genuinely concerned about the feelings of plants, then factory farming is a “genocide” on the plant kingdom. The animal carcass on your plate required FAR MORE plants than the plants on my plate.Meat eaters will always eat more plants than vegans no matter how many we eat, because that is what gets pumped into animals to keep them alive.
4. You're that concerned about the onion I just pulled out of the ground but not concerned about the baby cow that I just saw get stomped on by farmers until her skull split open while all of the hillbilly farmers around her laughed and spit?
5. Straying away from bullshit metaphysical arguments, you know that if I walked into your house and knocked over a plant, it would not be the same as me walking in and slitting your dog's throat. No matter how you intellectualize it.
6. I am not in the mood to answer stupid questions. **This answer could also be applied to all questions**

What if the animal died of natural causes?

1. An animal has not died of natural causes since the industrial revolution.
2. If one my cats died, I would lovingly commemorate them and then eat a delicious quinoa salad with fresh peppers and tomatoes – because I am not disgusting.
3. Would you eat your grandmother if she died if natural causes?

Do you get enough iron?

1. Most iron rich foods are vegan already, like leafy greens, nuts, seeds, fresh herbs,and quinoa.
2. The only meats that are really rich in iron are fish eggs and liver. How much fish eggs and liver do you eat?
3. Well, since I was severely anaemic as a meat eater, and am no longer anaemic as a vegan,I am going to say.....yes. (Possibly substituted for “well, my friend Staicha was severely anaemic as a meat eater and is now a non-anaemic glorious, beautiful beacon of vegan hope with lovely red hair, yes, we DO get enough iron”).
4. Regarding any nutritional based question, it's always worth noting that as a meat eater, people rarely consider what they are eating or how balanced their diet is. As vegans we are always looking into the nutritional value and ingredients in our food. As a meat eater I never bothered to look into making sure to take iron with vitamin c and to hold off on caffeine after eating iron rich foods. Being vegan usually makes you do your own research.

I don't think vegans should be allowed to eat things that look like meat, because they have made their choice to not eat meat.

1. Do you think diabetics shouldn't have sugar free pop? That people with a gluten intolerance shouldn't have gluten free bread and pasta? That people concerned with their weight shouldn't have fat free substitutes?
2. Why do you think my patty of beans or quinoa on a burger is less legitimate or somehow “fake” compared to your carcass on a burger? Newsflash – beans existed before factory farmed packaged cow slices did.
3. You must be one of those crazy people that thinks that lesbians shouldn't be“allowed” to have dildos because “they've made their choice.”
4. We're talking about an ethical, sustainable lifestyle choice. I am thankful everyday that it is getting easier and easier, and that people like me who grew up eating nothing but meat and potatoes have those familiar foods that helped us transition.

What about B12?

1. Well, B12 is a bacteria that we get from animals who get it from the bacteria in the plants they are eating (more specifically, the dirt on the plants). Yes – we no longer get it from plants because of how well we clean our plants, and that is a good thing. So now, almost every vegan substitute is fortified, leading to what I call “The B12 Complex”- vegans getting more B12 than meat eaters due to everything being fortified.

I could never be vegan because I need meat to build muscle.

1. You definitely don't need meat to build muscle. Ask Jim Morris or Billy Simmonds, two (of many notable) vegan bodybuilders, both of whom have won the Mister Universe competition.
2. To debunk the hilarious (though damaging) connection between meat and muscle, follow on facebook “The 300 Pound Vegan”, “Anastasia Vegan Warrior”, or read anything anywhere about nutrition. One of my personal favourites is “Skinny Bastard” which addresses a lot of concerns regarding veganism and muscle development.




That's all for now my fellow herbivores! And remember, if you want to be strong like the bull, don't eat the bull, eat what the bull eats!



So, she's kind of amazing...amiright?

Happy Tuesday! 

J