So, it's been a million years again, since I have posted here. I've been very busy working on my thesis and searching for a part time job (with no luck, which is really beginning to grind my gears).
Anyhow, because I am lazy and can't bring myself to write anything worth reading, I'm borrowing someone else's awesomeness. My insanely awesome and wacky hippie sister is also a vegan. Living with a family that consumes more than the average amount of grilled beef, I cannot explain to you the amount of joy it brings me to have a sister who completely understands and adheres to a vegan lifestyle.
-- Side note: we both became vegan around the same time...without having spoken to one another in months! We have always been weirdly on the same wavelength. --
She recently posted this to Facebook and I asked if I could share it here.
If you're vegan, hopefully this will be helpful to you. If you're not vegan, hopefully this will help you to get your damn shit together.
Anyone who has been vegan for more than a day knows that the simple act of being vegan seems to piss people off, leaving you subject to a barrage of stupid questions, glorious hypotheticals, and “hilarious” jokes. So, as much as everyone who asks me these questions would love to believe that they are the first to throw some fact about protein or question about a desert island in my face, I have sadly been answering these questions for 4 years now and have developed a wide array of responses to them. Below are the various ways in which I deal with people who think that they have thought more about veganism than I have. Some answers are serious, some are sassy, and it all depends who is asking.
Where do you get your protein?
1. Where do you get your vitamin k?
2. How about this: you don't ask me about my protein, I won't ask you about your cholesterol.
3. Which amino acids do you think are missing from my diet?
4. Protein is in everything. Even lettuce is 33% protein.
5. Peas, quinoa, nuts, beans, chickpeas, tempeh, tofu, edamame, leafy greens, broccoli, hemp, chia seeds, sesame seeds, poppy seeds,sunflower seeds, seitan (delicous seitan....), every non-dairy milk ever, and any soy product or veggie meat you have ever seen.
6. "If a varied diet sufficient in calories is consumed, it's virtually impossible to get an inadequate protein intake." - Dr. T Colin Campbell, co-author of The China Study.
What if you were stranded on a desert island and all there was to eat were the animals. Would you eat them then?
1. What if you lived in civilization and had an array of delicious cruelty-free foods to choose from; would you still support animal slaughter?
2. It's 2015 and I live in Canada, I am obviously not going to be stranded on a desert island.
3. If you're trying to gauge at what point an animal's life becomes less worthy than my own, I could do the same thing with any appendage of yours. “What if you were rock climbing, fell, got your arm pinned under a rock, and the only way to survive was by cutting your arm off. Would you??” I would not then say something like “well there, see, it obviously doesn't mean much to you if you'd cut it off in a life or death situation, so why not just cut it off now?”
I could never do that.
1. I never get tired of hearing that.
2. I used to say the same thing – when I was 15 and thought the world was all about whatever I wanted.
3. You could very easily if you knew how many delicious substitutes there were, how much better you would feel, and if you cared at all about what the animal you're eating went through and the environmental toll your habits are taking.
God put animals here for us to eat!
1. If God sanctioned the torture that I have seen in slaughterhouse footage, that would make God a SOCIOPATH and I am not comfortable living under that kind of management.
2. Really? Because as much as it has been a LONG time since church for me, I think I remember Adam and Eve lovingly tending to the animals in the garden.
3. Isn't one of the commandments “thou shalt not kill”? And I don't think it was amended with “unless you're furry, fluffy, scaly, or don't stand upright”.
4. To quote Jamie Kilstein, God put babies here too, and he didn't exactly leave specific instructions for either.
5. There are many groups of vegan Christians that make the argument that there was no animal abuse in the garden of Eden and that veganism is a way of peace, which is what God would want. I am obviously way out of my element here, but that makes a lot more sense to me.
I had a friend that was vegan once, and he/she got really sick.
1. Really? Because I have never heard of a meat eater getting sick. Yep, heart disease,obesity, high cholesterol and colon cancer are obviously things that meat eaters never have to worry about...
2. As with any human being living in the world and making food choices, any diet you have can be healthy or unhealthy. Yes, it is harder to be unhealthy as a vegan, but Fudgee-O's, Oreos, and most potato chips are vegan, which makes them a danger to all of us!
3. I am fondly reminded of the poem Carla recited in Scrubs: “If meat is your treat, your esophageal varices will bleed into your intestines,causing you to digest your own blood, leading to a horrible, horrible death.”
But what about bacon?
1. Please go kill yourself immediately.
2. What about it?
3. If I want salty grease (which we all do) I eat something else that is salty and greasy.
4. Haven't you ever seen the movie Babe?!
5. To ignore the entirety of a moral argument for some food item that you “like”is at best like talking to a 5 year old, at worst the kind of self-serving hedonism that I watch whenever I accidentally see a clip of Fox news.
But we are animals, and animals always eat other animals. Would you tell a bear not to hunt?
1. I wouldn't ask a bear to make a moral decision because they don't have the capacity to think critically about their mass consumption of products or the kind of societal constructs that they have put in place. But for as long as you want to live in fancy houses, have a government, and be having this argument on your Mac laptop, you need to acknowledge that we are an advanced species and have moral abilities that other bears do not have.
2. Animals also eat shit, kill their young, and mount others to impregnate them willy nilly whenever they feel like it. Are these behaviours you think we should mirror? Or would you not, in those cases, argue that we are advanced enough to have laws against rape, murder, and....well, not shit eating, but you get the drift.
People are MEANT to eat meat.
1. Really? Then why do vegans live longer?
2. Really? Because the China study suggests differently.
2. We actually have herbivorous intestines and are meant to be digesting plant foods.Yes, obviously we are able digest animals, but it can lead to things like constipation at best, and colon cancer at worst. Our insistence on eating animals is putting a strain on the health care system.
4. I am always flummoxed by the use of “meant” to. As though if this were some base animal urge of ours we could never get over it. It would be like saying we are “meant” to kill one another because we get angry and exhibit violent tendencies, or saying men are “meant” to sexually dominate women. Aren't we grown up enough now as a species to get past that and start letting our heads have a bigger say than our mouths and genitals?
5. To quote Gary Yourofsky – put an apple and a bunny rabbit in a playpen with a toddler, and call me when the toddler eats the bunny and plays with the apple.
6. Then why is it that we don't find roadkill extremely appetizing and jump out of our cars to lap up the blood and chew on the intestines of that delicious dead animal? Why do we have to season and heat meat to make it appealing to us?
What about these here canine teeth?
1. Oh those things? Yeah, I use those for apples, carrots, nuts, and all of the other hard plant foods we all eat.
2. Have you ever seen a gorilla? Massive canines, massive herbivore.
3. The idea behind saying “I have the equipment, so I will obviously use it to harm others” is like saying “if I weren't meant to sexually assault women, why do I have this big ol' dong?”
Cows NEED to be milked, why do you think you're helping them by not consuming dairy?
(Yes, this was said to me)
1. Cows don't walk around in nature exploding without man's ever so helpful touch. No animal exists in conjunction with the human race,relying on us to suck out their secretions.
2. Cows are pregnant for 9 months (sound familiar?) and when they give birth they produce breast milk for their babies. THAT is the milk you are taking, the breast milk for the calf. The calf gets NONE of it (standard practice), and is either killed for veal if he is male, or held until she is able to be impregnated to go through the same thing as her mother (whom she will never meet). They are hooked up to machines, sucked dry until they are bleeding and oozing copious amounts of puss, and then killed.
3. If I ever had a baby, I would technically “need” to be milked in the same way as a cow. It would be uncomfortable to not be giving that breast milk to my baby, at least at first. Would you, ever so helpfully, throw my baby into a grinder and suckle me dry for your cheese and ice cream? Otherwise I might explode.
Don't you feel weak and tired all the time?
1. *Do some sweet air kicks and squat thrusts*.
2. The food I eat is full of the most bio-available energy. My body doesn't have to work nearly as hard to break it down. I therefore have much more energy than before.
3. You mean to suggest that after that turkey dinner of yours, or after that big sweaty steak, you think you will have more energy than me?
4. Have you ever seen a natural carnivore? An animal with short intestines that is actually meant to be eating other animals? Let's say, your cat. Or a tiger. What do they do with most of their day? Sleep! Because digesting blood and a rotting carcass takes a serious toll on the body, it is hard work for your body to break it down!
But soy has estrogen!
1. You watch too much Big Bang Theory, and I can't take you seriously.
2. It actually doesn't have estrogen, it has isoflavones, or “phyto-estrogens”, which are incredibly good for you, especially if you are male, because it bonds to testosterone and helps to ward off things like testicular or prostate cancer.
3. We don't absorb hormones from plants, we absorb hormones from animals. After eating steak and some cheese, you have just absorbed a large female animal and drank her breast milk. How much estrogen do you think you just consumed there?
4. Are you really concerned with soy and not at all concerned with all of the hormones, antibiotics, and who knows WHAT preservatives in the dead animals and animal secretions you are eating?!
5. So what? Don't eat soy. Lot's of vegans don't.
6. Vegan diets are not new – lots of religions and other cultures have been vegetarian or vegan since the dawn of time (my personal favourite, badass Pythagoras. You're welcome, math nerds). What do you think happens to these people? You can look back and just see them sprouting breasts or becoming races of non-reproductive effeminate individuals that died out, limp-wristed with shrivelled testicles? Obviously not. Jaynes, Hindus, and many other cultures that are meatless have survived perfectly well, and yes, their testicles remain untarnished by that offensive estrogen.
7. Sexual politics of meat anyone?
Oh, you're vegan,that's why you're SO skinny.
1. I don't know why people think it's okay to comment on my body and tell me that they find it unacceptable. I would never look at you and outright say “oh,you're a meat eater? That's why you're so fat, that's why your skin sags, that's why you have pimples, that's why you produce more mucus,that's why your sweat stinks like some salty chemical sludge.”
2. You're right, my veganism IS why I am at a healthy body weight with very low fat.
3. I actually weighed less as an anaemic meat eater, so there goes that theory.
4. I am actually“slender” because I pay attention to what I put into my body and because I live an active lifestyle and do aerobics for roughly an hour a day.
Why don't you care about humans/ I don't think it's right to be talking about animal rights when there are still starving children in the world.
1. You will find that people who care about animal suffering obviously also care about human suffering. Empathy doesn't occur in a vacuum, it's not like we have a finite amount to give, saying “well I care about this disenfranchised suffering group, but not that disenfranchised suffering group.”
2. That's like saying “oh, you work with the hearing impaired? Why do you not care about the visually impaired!”
3. What are you doing for starving children?Because I am choosing a sustainable food source that could help wipe out world hunger. The billions upon billions of animals that get farmed consume fresh grains and fresh water and expel a lot of waste.That means that you consume roughly ten times the acreage of land per year that I do, and even more of the fresh water while actively polluting the water and the air,the same water and air that those children you are attempting to stand up for need to live. Wouldn't you rather those fresh crops and fresh water be going to those children than into those mass produced animals we keep creating and consuming?
But we need to eat animals for population control!
1. We mass produce animals to far beyond what they would do in nature.We never worry about the population of giraffes or monkeys,because we don't eat them, and therefore we don't breed them en mass.Left alone, cows, chickens, and pigs would breed the normal amount and we wouldn't need to worry about their population. We have created an unsupportable amount of farmed animals. Have you ever looked at a factory farm? They would never breed that much themselves.
2. The population that is the most out of control is clearly our own. We seem to be the only species that doesn't self-regulate. And yet, I wouldn't suggest killing people and eating them to keep it under control. And not just because in this fucked up consumerist society we would end up over-breeding them to keep eating and wind up with 8xthe population we had before the cannibalism.
I don't care about eating meat because I don't like animals.
1. Well, most days I don't much care for humans, but I still wouldn't go out and kill them.
2. People go vegan for a wide array of reasons, not just animal ethics. Environmental reasons and health reasons are right up thereon the legitimate list of reasons why people go vegan. Ultimately, I don't think animals care why you don't kill them.
3. You don't like all animals?You're obviously a dangerous nutcase.
No, I obviously wouldn't eat my cat and dog, but farm animals are different.
1. How? In what way?
2. Can't you see that this is a fucked up ontology that we have imposed? Saying “this group is food, this group gets loved.” And it isn't based on anything – pigs are smarter than dogs, baby chicks are as cute as they come. It's just a societal construction, and one that we need to break through.
3. People have pigs, chickens, and cows as pets all the time. Go look on youtube, you'll see videos of chickens purring, cows cuddling people,and pigs joyfully trotting along behind people and going for walks with people and their dogs.
4. It scares me when people think this way – take a species and divide it up based on completely arbitrary qualities. It's like saying “this colour of people matter, this colour does not. Why? I don't know,they all think and feel the same, but that is just how it is, and that is how it always has been.”
5. Your dog and the farmed pig have the same ability to suffer. That's why there is no difference.
I am more concerned with the environment.
1. Oh really? Are you aware that not eating one small 100 gram piece of steak saves2,025 litres of fresh water? Are you aware that it takes roughly 10acres of fresh land and water to support you per year, whereas it takes 0.25 acres to support the average vegan? Are you aware that 70%of our fresh grains and fresh water is going into the animals you are eating? Are you aware that methane is almost 20x more potent as a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide is? Are you aware that the carbon footprint per week of a person eating only onemeaty meal per day is 188 metres squared? Are you aware that the shit of farmed animals is the number one cause of water pollution? Are you aware that I could drive a damn hummer and still be more of an environmentalist than you?
2. You cannot be a meat eating environmentalist. That is a wild contradiction. It would be like me being an animal lover who joyfully works in a slaughterhouse.
3. *Laugh in their face until they go away.*
But what about your leather shoes?
1. My shoes aren't leather, my shoes are actually made from sustainable hemp and a tire(true story).
2. You'd be surprised how many shoes are accidentally vegan, even shoe companies like NewBalance use man-made materials. Also, vegan shoe companies like Moo Shoes make very convincing and durable substitutes.
3. Let's say they were – so what? Perhaps these are my old shoes that I am still wearing out, shoes that I purchased as a meat eater or before I was more aware. Does that make the message I am saying any less worthwhile?
4. Ad Hominem anyone?
5. So? If I am wearing leather on my feet, does that mean I am wrong about factory farmed animals? If I can't be perfect, if my used car has leather seats, does that mean I should just say “to hell with it” and start killing animals again? That's like saying “well, you don't beat your children, but that shirt was from Wal-Mart, so you obviously support child labour and cruelty to children, so you might as well go home and beat your kids. Can't be perfect across the board? Why bother.”
6. Acknowledge that them trying to bring you down to their level will not work. People will always try to point out that you are just as bad as them, but you are actively trying to make a difference. If you have one pair of leather shoes, but they aren't doing anything for animals, who should really walk away feeling like an asshole? Obviously not you.
What about plants, don't they have feelings?
1. No. No they don't.
2. *Laugh in their face.*
3. If you are genuinely concerned about the feelings of plants, then factory farming is a “genocide” on the plant kingdom. The animal carcass on your plate required FAR MORE plants than the plants on my plate.Meat eaters will always eat more plants than vegans no matter how many we eat, because that is what gets pumped into animals to keep them alive.
4. You're that concerned about the onion I just pulled out of the ground but not concerned about the baby cow that I just saw get stomped on by farmers until her skull split open while all of the hillbilly farmers around her laughed and spit?
5. Straying away from bullshit metaphysical arguments, you know that if I walked into your house and knocked over a plant, it would not be the same as me walking in and slitting your dog's throat. No matter how you intellectualize it.
6. I am not in the mood to answer stupid questions. **This answer could also be applied to all questions**
What if the animal died of natural causes?
1. An animal has not died of natural causes since the industrial revolution.
2. If one my cats died, I would lovingly commemorate them and then eat a delicious quinoa salad with fresh peppers and tomatoes – because I am not disgusting.
3. Would you eat your grandmother if she died if natural causes?
Do you get enough iron?
1. Most iron rich foods are vegan already, like leafy greens, nuts, seeds, fresh herbs,and quinoa.
2. The only meats that are really rich in iron are fish eggs and liver. How much fish eggs and liver do you eat?
3. Well, since I was severely anaemic as a meat eater, and am no longer anaemic as a vegan,I am going to say.....yes. (Possibly substituted for “well, my friend Staicha was severely anaemic as a meat eater and is now a non-anaemic glorious, beautiful beacon of vegan hope with lovely red hair, yes, we DO get enough iron”).
4. Regarding any nutritional based question, it's always worth noting that as a meat eater, people rarely consider what they are eating or how balanced their diet is. As vegans we are always looking into the nutritional value and ingredients in our food. As a meat eater I never bothered to look into making sure to take iron with vitamin c and to hold off on caffeine after eating iron rich foods. Being vegan usually makes you do your own research.
I don't think vegans should be allowed to eat things that look like meat, because they have made their choice to not eat meat.
1. Do you think diabetics shouldn't have sugar free pop? That people with a gluten intolerance shouldn't have gluten free bread and pasta? That people concerned with their weight shouldn't have fat free substitutes?
2. Why do you think my patty of beans or quinoa on a burger is less legitimate or somehow “fake” compared to your carcass on a burger? Newsflash – beans existed before factory farmed packaged cow slices did.
3. You must be one of those crazy people that thinks that lesbians shouldn't be“allowed” to have dildos because “they've made their choice.”
4. We're talking about an ethical, sustainable lifestyle choice. I am thankful everyday that it is getting easier and easier, and that people like me who grew up eating nothing but meat and potatoes have those familiar foods that helped us transition.
What about B12?
1. Well, B12 is a bacteria that we get from animals who get it from the bacteria in the plants they are eating (more specifically, the dirt on the plants). Yes – we no longer get it from plants because of how well we clean our plants, and that is a good thing. So now, almost every vegan substitute is fortified, leading to what I call “The B12 Complex”- vegans getting more B12 than meat eaters due to everything being fortified.
I could never be vegan because I need meat to build muscle.
1. You definitely don't need meat to build muscle. Ask Jim Morris or Billy Simmonds, two (of many notable) vegan bodybuilders, both of whom have won the Mister Universe competition.
2. To debunk the hilarious (though damaging) connection between meat and muscle, follow on facebook “The 300 Pound Vegan”, “Anastasia Vegan Warrior”, or read anything anywhere about nutrition. One of my personal favourites is “Skinny Bastard” which addresses a lot of concerns regarding veganism and muscle development.
That's all for now my fellow herbivores! And remember, if you want to be strong like the bull, don't eat the bull, eat what the bull eats!
So, she's kind of amazing...amiright?
Happy Tuesday!
J
