Dealing with haters and embracing my "kumbaya vegan"

So, yesterday I wrote a post about 5 things vegans do that annoy me. I could not have possibly predicted the immense hatred that came as responses to that post and while I don't regret posting it, I will say that I am glad my comments section is moderated, because almost all the comments I got were swearing at me, calling me a liar and an idiot, and worse. Needless to say, only those comments that aren't full of cussing and hate will be tolerated on this blog...which sadly means that very few comments get through.

That said, I don't mind it when people disagree with me. I knew that the honey issue was going to get people all crazy, because, lets face it, vegans are passionate folks and I can't blame them for seeing some hypocrisy in my stance on local "ethical" honey.

I shared  that post, just  for fun, on the "Vegan World" Facebook page. I thought it would give some a laugh, and give others something to think about. Sadly, I am embarrassed to say that I took it down an hour later because of the onslaught of anger that it instigated, one of the least hurtful of which read:

"What a whinefest. How about "necrovore?" Literally, "eaters of death." I prefer that. What's not to be negative about, while billions are living in abject suffering and being slaughtered in the most unimaginable ways? Kumbaya vegans...making friends and being popular. What about the animals, you say?

Well...irk away on the fact that she eats honey, and believes that there is such a thing as "cruelty-free" silk and wool. For anyone out there that doesn't know any better, that is not a vegan. She's a liar, and the reason why people are so very confused about what the word means. She's not even a DIETARY vegan lol". 

I also got a couple: "You're the reason nobody takes vegans seriously"s and more than a  couple "You're not even vegan"s.

(I share these, only because they  get the point across that I'm a moron without swearing at me or calling me names.)

I'm okay with this. So, maybe according to this woman I am a liar, and perhaps I am not really a vegan. But I love the planet. I love the animals on it, and that includes humans. I refuse to be the type of person who puts shit out into the world and expects it to turn to gold. The animals don't need a bunch of angry, mean, and hateful people on their side. They need kind people who are  willing to listen and teach and even learn from others.

The perfect example of this that I can think of are the people who run Piebird Vegan Farmstay. I met Yan and Sherry a few years ago, when I was a new vegan working for the Nipissing University Peace Research Initiative and I had the joy of filming an interview with them. They take in farm animals - chickens, a turkey, and lots of happy goats (and recently built some homes for some bees to live in peace!) - and invite their guests to interact with and help care for the animals. They spoke about peace, about being in nature, about how we can learn so much from the animals about love, friendship and joy. Yes, they are activists and they fight for animals. Yes, they completely disagree with animal suffering in any form.  But they offer a place where people can come and learn about veganism in a safe and peaceful environment, free from hate and judgement.

I would love it if we could take a page from their book and continue to love other humans as  much as we love animals.

If this makes me a "kumbaya vegan", and if being a "kumbaya vegan" makes me some  how less worthy of respect than other "perfect vegans", then I think I'm okay with that.

Actually, I'm thinking of retiring the word vegan from my vocabulary and just calling myself a good damn person. (I'm just kidding. I'm vegan, haters!)


Happy Wednesday!


-J

5 things vegans do that irk me

EDIT: First, I don't think there is any such thing as ethical silk or ethical wool, so please actually read the blog if you're going to send me hate messages referencing it. Second, I maintain that it is wrong to criticise and berate people who choose to live ethically, even if they maintain minor caveats (i.e. they use "ethical silk" or "ethical wool".

I tend to like crappy vegan people even more than I like super nice non-vegans. This is a bad habit and I am working on extending my love outward a little bit and becoming more understanding of people's shortcomings.

Nonetheless, there are still a few things that lots of vegans do that really irk me (yes, I'm guilty of some of these as well). Lately I have shared a lot about the things that non-vegans say and do that get me down, but vegans aren't perfect either.

1. Calling non-vegans carnivores: This is just silly, and totally plays into the completely manufactured scientific argument that non-vegans make for continuing their murderous ways. A carnivore is an organism that subsists entirely on flesh/meat. Humans are not carnivores, though we have become omnivorous - meaning that we derive energy from both  flesh and plants.  Stop calling meat-eating humans carnivores. 
2. Focusing on the people who suck, rather than the people that don't: This isn't really a vegan problem, per se. I find that we live in a  time  of immense egotism and self importance. We think that we are smarter than everyone else. We think that everyone else is a moron. Everyone else is the reason that the world is the way that it is. When we become vegan, it becomes all too easy to place all of the blame for all the world's ills on non-vegans. And just like when you hear a song for the first time, and then you notice it everywhere, so too do you start to notice all the crappy stuff that people do after you become vegan. This is incredibly unhealthy and can lead to defeatism - the militant vegan's worst nightmare! 
3. Only making friends with other vegans: We are obviously going to be attracted to like-minded people, in the same way that surfers hang around with other surfers, and foodies make friends with foodies, so too is is natural for vegans to make vegan friends. But because of #2, we sometimes find ourselves rejecting our non-vegan friends...and this isn't cool. How do you hope to have an influence on others if you fence yourself off from regular people? 
4. Criticising other vegans: Now, I am just as guilty of this as many others, but we really have to stop criticising our vegan brethren. We can't all agree on everything. For example, I eat local honey, and I know some vegans who will wear "cruelty free silk" (Ahimsa Silk), and "cruelty free wool" (Non-Mulesed) from time to time. On the other hand, there are lots of vegans  who do not think that we should use anything that comes from living creatures, including manure from companion animals, or the naturally shed feathers of companion birds. All of these are perfectly valid ways of being vegan. We all believe in living compassionately, not killing, not torturing, and not taking advantage of any species. Even though I do not agree with people using silk, no matter how it's cultivated, nor wool that is produced on farms for profit (I'm in the air about wool that is harvested from companion animals) I know that my fellow vegans are doing their best and I must try not to criticise them. For one thing, this opens me up to criticism as well, and for another, there is a very fine line between criticism and disparagement. Disparagement is the enemy of intelligent conversation and personal growth. Intelligent debate is fine, but don't be a dick.
5. Hating everything: This is  linked closely with #2 and like #2, we all  do it, not just vegans (bahahahaha...the eight year old in me just cracked up a little). I do find that lots of the vegans I have met, though, are Negative Nancies, especially those who I met in the North, where vegans are fewer and farther between than in the big city. I get it. When you're the only vegan you know, its hard to not get down on the world. They don't think that there is hope for the planet. They are kind of hermits. They have bad attitudes. They bitch all the time. They never talk about beautiful sunsets and they never tell funny stories. Everything sucks. I dated a guy like this briefly, and while it was nice to be with a vegan, it was really difficult to remain positive and joyful with that negativity around you all the time. I firmly believe that you get back what you put out into the world. If you're a grumpy jerk, then the world will be a dark place; if you're positive, then the world will be bright. 

Simple.

Also, look! I made a new friend!

Happy Tuesday!

-J

Monday Happies!

Today is the Civic Holiday, so instead of waking up alone in a sweltering hot room like I do most Mondays, I got to wake up with VOMD and eat breakfast (Toasted Tomato Sandwiches!) while watching Community. Oh gosh, I forgot how funny the D&D episode was!

This weekend, like most of our weekends, has been full of good food and awesome adventures. We went for a walk on Friday evening and ended up in a graveyard... that's not weird, is it?

It was very romantic, in a totally strange way. So many stones marking the resting places of people born hundreds of years ago. I can't imagine how many stories are buried  with them...

On Saturday VOMD and I went to Democracy and had Nachos and Pizza - amazing! Please go there right now and eat them... right now.

Yesterday we went to Ikea and had fun laying on fluffy beds and getting lost in the insane maze that is that ridiculous store.

And today...today we are going to nap a lot and relax and go for a nice long walk.

Happy Monday!

-J

Joy!

So, I am sitting here on my couch, taking a break from writing my thesis and sipping on a cold brew coffee, and I am thinking about all the things in this world that bring me joy.

The recent death of Cecil the Lion, and all of the drama and outrage it has caused in the world has started a stream of arguments the likes of which I have never seen on Facebook. So much hate and anger at the world from vegans  who are pissed (like me) that the rest of the population can't see Cecil in the eyes of the cows they consume on a daily basis, and defensiveness and indignation from non-vegans who feel judged and hated by those who are (like me) pissed that they can't/don't/refuse to see the big picture.

Earlier today I was glancing through one of my friend's Facebook post about Cecil, where she essentially makes the same point as I did  in my blog yesterday. She was immediately bombarded with arguments against her point of  view, and numerous defences for why it is okay to eat animals like pigs and chickens but not to kill lions. This made me so sad and angry... it made me feel a bit helpless ... as though the situation is hopeless.

...but then I began to wonder why this  makes me so sad and angry and why my immediate reaction to things like this is always to look at the dark side instead of the bright.

There is so much in this world that is amazing. First, shouldn't I just be overjoyed that this friend shares my point of view?! How wonderful is it that in a group of people less than 200 there is at least person (though, honestly, many more) that totally and completely gets it? Second, when I posted my own little snippit on Facebook about Cecil, I was met with support from my friends and family. I received numerous messages encouraging me to keep going,  to stay positive, and thanking me for setting a positive example. When I shared my post about switching to a whole foods plant based diet I received a message from a friend to which I had not spoken in years, asking me for advice on cutting animal products out of her diet. In fact, every time I share something on my Facebook about my  lifestyle I am met with support.  Isn't that wonderful!? Isn't it so nice that there are so many people who, even if they do not live the way that I do, support my life  choices, and think that the way I live my life is commendable?  This brings me joy!

Last night VOMD and I went for a walk to get coffee at one of the local shops down town. I was wearing my 'Vegan is Peace' shirt and as soon as I walked in the girl behind the counter began asking me questions about going vegan. She told me that she is scared that it will be difficult, that she is nervous that she will not have the will-power, or the support to go all the way. I gave her my phone number and email address and answered all her  questions as best I could. She told me that she wanted to be vegan from the bottom of her heart, and that seeing me walk in right at the end of her shift was like a sign from the universe. See?! Wonderful things happen all the time! This brings me joy!

And today, when I went to my favourite little coffee spot Cafe Oranje on King St. I had yet another  conversation about how delicious vegan food is while I was buying one of the vegan pies they sell (made at Cake and Loaf, I believe, but correct me if you think I'm wrong) called "The Wellington".  Joy is everywhere! And everywhere people are starting to realize that the way that we live now, taking animals and the planet around us for granted is just not doing it  for us any more.

People are changing. We have this amazing capacity for adaptation that no other creature on earth does, and when I speak to people like the coffee shop girl who is starting to go vegan, or the baker who makes vegan pies, or the curious person on the street who asks me about my 'Vegan is Peace' shirt, or the long lost friend who is trying to eat less animal products, or my older sister who is starting to be more careful about what she puts in her body and now drinks Vega shakes instead of whey, I realize that if I am willing to remain positive, and set an example of joy instead of anger, then the world really can look like a much brighter place.

And if trying to see the bright side ever fails, I can always rely on my animal companions to bring the light back into my life!

Lego and I like to have staring contests.

 Happy Friday!

-J

Monday Happies: My best friends wedding!

So, last week was a bit  nuts. My internet went down on Monday  morning because a huge truck drove by  and tore down the cable. It wasn't up and running  again until Friday, but by then I was in Barrie helping my best friend prepare for her wedding day!

The wedding was on Saturday and it was probably the most beautiful wedding I've ever seen.  They rented out a barn at Lazy Dayz B & B in Coldwater, Ontario, and with all the tulle and twinkle lights in the world, the place was transformed into a magical country wonderland.

The front of the building had a big porch where they set up a buffet. We strung up the basement of the barn with twinkle lights as well, and  by 11pm that place was rumbling with the stomping of so many cowboy boots!


The wedding party was absolutely gorgeous, and so much fun!



The makeup artist, and the hairdresser (the bride's Aunt is a hairdresser and she was an absolute super star!) did an amazing job.

Posing for pictures makes you a little grumpy after a while!

We all wore cowboy boots in honour of the bride is is an absolute country queen. It's strange that my best friend and I are so completely different. But when it comes down to it, all the history we have together, the secrets we've shared, and all the amazing times we've had together has made us the type of friends that will be close until we are a hundred.

 Before she asked me to be her  maid of honour we had not spoken in a few years, and I am so happy and honoured that she asked me to be part of this day, and that it reconnected us. I will never let us slip that far apart again.

The night before the wedding, we stayed up in the dark, giggling about silly memories, talking nonsense, and thinking about happy, beautiful things to calm her nerves. It was like we were 10 years old again, laying in her single bed, talking about boys and planning the silly adventures we would go on the next day.

That's it for me. I will post something veg related later this week!

Happy Monday!

xo

-Jo