Thursday, October 8, 2015

7 things that all modern vegans can relate to

As a modern vegan you live in a world of social media and mass media coverage of issues big a small. You live in a  world where nothing is sacred because everything can be shared an exploited on the internet for political purposes or just a quick laugh.

To all my fellow herbivore out there, I just want you to know that we all feel like you do sometimes. You're not crazy and you're not alone. Because lists are this huge thing on the internet now and have basically replaced actual writing, I've produced yet another one for you. Here are 7 things that most modern vegans will totally relate to:

  1. Sharing things on Facebook or Twitter about eating vegetables or caring about animals opens you up to annoying comments like "but bacon, tho"... you know, because the rationality of your life choice to not kill and consume non-human animals is going to disintegrate in the face of greasy, chewy, murdered pig belly fat.  
  2. When you share on Facebook that you are vegetarian or vegan people will inevitably accuse you of pushing your values on them, even though yesterday they posted that they love steak and voting for bigots. You may also notice that you never comment on other people's posts about liking to eat carcasses, and yet YOU are the one pushing your views and values on others. Interesting, no?
  3. You will constantly be told to explain your canine teeth, in meme form 
  4. And also, you'll be forced to educate people on what protein is constantly, because even though the internet is this vast library of near infinite information, people can't be bothered to google amino acids.
  5. Every day you are confronted with people sharing animal rights campaigns on their social media platforms, usually right after they post a photo of their dinner which consisted of macaroni and cheese and a slab of animal carcass. You will be pleased to see people giving a shit, but the hypocrisy becomes exasperating. 
  6. You will not go a month without someone posing an absurd hypothetical about whether you'd murder an animal to survive whatever extreme circumstance they propose
  7. The internet can be a shitty place, so when you go out into the real world and meet another vegan in person its the best thing ever and you spend at least the next 30 minutes excitedly yelling and starting every other sentence with "OMG EXACTLY!" 

Happy Thursday!


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