Wednesday, October 7, 2015

How to spot a douchenozzle: A practical guide Part 2

So, you may have missed my first post on how to spot the intolerant buttbags on your facebook friends list and in your every day interactions. If you did, and you're interested in learning how to spot a xenophobe, follow this link!

Now, tell me if this sounds familiar: You're scrolling through facebook, again binge watching something on Netflix (in my case, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, baby) when you are bombarded with this image:


You gasp with disgust and promptly block that person from your Facebook feed. Later on, while you're pretending to write your thesis you realize that you haven't checked Facebook in about six minutes. What if you missing something important like Chuck Norris meme or a picture of a cute goat?! You promptly begin scrolling again and land on this image:

And right after that one you see this:

And you start to wonder about all this emphasis on real men and real women, and the complete lack of emphasis on whether it matters at all that one is a man or a woman, or whether man and woman are actual true biological facts, or if in fact they are actually just social constructs that are deeply harmful to the identities of everyone, not just those who do identify as either men or women, but to those who find themselves completely at odds with this bullshit binary sex system we find ourselves in. And then you wonder if people are actually being sexist buttheads, or if they are just uninformed and uncritical types...



Well, here's the truth of the matter. Ignorance of gender issues is no excuse for sexism. So if you're wondering if someone is a sexists or just stupid...remember that they are not mutually exclusive. It is very likely that they are actually both.

Here are some Sure-fire ways to spot a sexist:


  1. If someone makes a comment to you, even in jest, about women belonging in the kitchen...then they are being sexist.
  2. If someone ever tries to tell you that real men have beards, love women the right way, know how to dance, don't cook, make good money, know how to play guitar, have tattoos, look good in a  suit, etc. etc. etc. they are probably sexist. We have to realize that even when we post things like the above meme about men being good to women, we are saying, perhaps not on purpose or directly, that a man is someone who loves women. It says that gay men are not real men. It says that those who identify as men and don't love men are not men. And problematic still, it says that men who do not treat women properly are not men. This is not true. "Manliness" is not a moral standard against which we measure the quality of an individual. It is an objective descriptor which is either socially or self-prescribed and has very little to do with being a good person and treating people the right way. A more accurate meme would say "Really good people treat other people nicely"...but that's not clever enough for Facebook, I suppose. 
  3. If anyone ever says to you that feminism isn't necessary anymore for any reason including but not limited to women and men already being equal, the wage gap not existing, men just being better at business, women spending more time worrying about family than their career, or any combination of those or any other explanation, they are at least a little bit sexist.
  4. If someone tries to convince you that women should have to dress modestly in order to not attract unwanted attention from men... you know, the whole "if you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut" argument.. then they are both stupid and sexist.
  5. If someone ever tries to tell you that the way that you dress, act, work, play, throw, run or live your life is "unladylike or unmanly" then they are sexist. 
  6. If you identify as a woman and a man tells you that you would be prettier if you smiled more, he is a sexist... I say "he" here because it is a cultural fact. Please don't go all crazy on me and argue that this isn't sexist. Do you see many men telling other men that they would be prettier if they smiled? No?  
  7. If someone tries to tell you that real women have curves, regardless of the gender of the speaker, they are a sexist. 
Here's the thing. VOMD has a glorious beard. Do I want him to keep it? Absolutely. Do I think it makes him look sexy as all hell? Definitely. Does it make him more of a man? Hell to the freaking no. 

I have a sizable arse. Do I love my curves? Yes. Do I struggle with my weight just like any other person in our culture? Also yes. Do I define myself and my adherence to my gender and my sex by the size of my arse or the ratio of my waist to hip girth? Hell freaking no. 

If you are guilty of any of the above, then maybe you don't think you are being a sexist butt head, but maybe you have some thinking to do on the subject. You might think you're just having a laugh and that saying "real men have beards" is really of no social and/or cultural consequence. But it does matter. I think it is high time we start realizing that an individual's or a groups dignity is more important than a cheap laugh.

And if its worse and you genuinely think that you get to define what it means to be a man or a woman, and you think that it is okay to spread messages of hate across the internet...you just suck. Please go tell your mom you love her right now. 

Get your act together internet. 

Happy Wednesday!

-J

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