Munk Leaders Debate: What you didn't miss by not tuning in

I don't think a debate has ever exhausted me more. Between the poor audio, the on and off translation (and in many cases...just totally whack inaccurate translations), the odd format of not allowing genuine debate, and the streaming quality which left much to be desired (I had to play catch up numerous times and switch back and forth between streaming on Facebook and on the Munk website) those are two hours I honestly wish I could get back.

Now, please hear me when I say that politics makes my heart race and my blood boil...I'm not the type of person to just dismiss a debate on the basis of poor production quality. But the production quality wasn't the only downfall. I also wanted to punch all of the candidates in the face at one time of another.

Please forgive me for the rants that are about to happen. I can't bring myself to respond intelligently to a debate that so completely missed the point on almost everything that matters in Canadian politics today. Here goes:

1. Once again May was not invited to speak. WTF Canada? 
2. Once again, Justin Trudeau acted as though if he talked louder than everyone else it would some how make him more right? WTF Liberals?
3. Stephen Harper again decided to take credit for the reduction in emissions...which was a direct result of the economic crisis which caused countless job losses across the country. 
4. Mulcair responded thoughtfully and calmly to all accusations and seemed to keep the "angry Mulcair" everyone is tweeting about at bay...but he is at his best when he is passionate (unlike Trudeau, who sounds like he is lecturing me). 
5. Harper decided to again scare us into voting conservative to ward off those freaky niqab wearing terrorists. Fun fact, if you can't see someone's face they are more likely to bomb you. That is why ski resorts have banned balaclava's - they were tired of all those damned terrorists causing avalanches. Like, come on. How stupid does he think we are? Oh wait...I saw that scare ad about terrorists losing their citizenship shared on facebook about 10 times by people I otherwise thought were actually relatively intelligent, thoughtful people. Turns out, fear works. If I were to go back in time I would pursue a second major in psychology so I could do some studies on the psychology of scare tactics. This is your brain: "I love diversity. It's part of the reason I am so proud to live in Canada - a country that loves and respects people, no matter where they are from". This is your brain on Harper: "I'm all for diversity but, you know, how do we stop all the terrorists from coming over here and getting drivers licenses with their burqas/niqabs on (I mean, what if they are actually gun wielding men under there?) and using our healthcare and taking our jobs and bombing our schools and eating our food, and leaching off our system, and corrupting our youth, and inviting my child to join ISIS, and stealing our souls and ruining Christmas?!?!?!?! AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!" 
6. Twitter freaked out about dairy...oh my gosh world, when will you get your shit together about dairy? WAAAH Mulcair, dairy prices will be too high! Boohoo, drink some freaking water and eat some Kale you big babies. I could be more precise...but I don't want to spend the next hour writing about this bullshit. Like, for example, you should probably know that I'm not all the way on board with Mulcair's take on the TPP... surprise surprise
7. Putin is the devil, apparently. I mean, don't get me wrong, Russia has a BUTT - TON to answer for, but why is it that we are blaming Russia for America's mistakes in the region? Also, Harper name dropped like a mofo when taking about our relationship with Russia and the Ukraine, which, as the incumbent PM, he is the only one able to truly do so. I fear that some might take this as an indication of his political savvy...
8. When Mulcair wanted to talk about child care, abortion, and the health of Canadians living in the North, as well as Canada's indigenous peoples he was kind of shut down. He was also told he was off topic when talking about Keystone...WTF Munk? How are these issues not on topic in a discussion of Foreign Policy? Are we really so closed minded that we think that border are impermeable and that social issues within a state have no international political implications?
9. Trudeau did this weird thing where he talked about his father's death. Yeah, Mulcair kind of set him up for it by mentioning the late Pierre Elliot, but his death and  Justin's pride in being his father's son are more than irrelevant in a debate on IR. So, why did we let this go on? Oh right, it would have been off colour to tell him to stop... 
10. And then, Trudeau was super unhappy to be personally attacked by Mulcair on the issue of "not understanding the debate structure" or something like that...well, you made it personal, Justin, so just deal with it. You're a political figure and you can be held to account as a person, not just as the figure head for your party. 
11. Again, I know I'm ragging on him a bunch, but damn Trudeau, you dumb; how can you put down one of Canada's leading environmentalists and then defend the environment so fervently (and ineffectively, might I add?).  For more information on this hilarity, see this post about David Suzuki's phone call from the liberal leader. 
12. Again, Mulcair talked about Tommy Douglas. I wish he would realize that people are so over his harkening back to the golden years of the NDP. Seriously, we get it: Tommy Douglas=Health Care=Good. Mulcair, you're making me sleepy.
13. In response to twitter and facebook posts a plenty by a bunch of silly heads: Fun fact, the NDP was super pissed back in the day when they got a bunch of support from the Communist Party of Canada. Douglas said on public radio that he by no means has and would ever have any affiliation with communists and berated the communist mission. So for all of you dumb dumbs going on about a socialist global scourge reawakening in the wake of a NDP win in this election...shut up. Also, we really need to get over this whole red scare bullshit. What is this, 1996? Oh no, the communists want us all to have free health care and free education and good roads and fair governance and democracy! I know I want all those things too, but I'm no communist. I'm too liberal to want equality for all. I still want to be able to be one of those rich fat cats who profits off of everyone else; you know, the ones I'm so critical of but only because they have nicer cars and bigger tvs than me. Leave my inequality alone. I want freedom. I'll take free and poor over free and equal any day...because that's the American...oops I mean Canadian way!  
14. Harper, once again, did not get enough attention from either of the other candidates on the stage (I say "on the stage" because May took him to task quite well on Twitter). 

Oh my gosh I could go on and on (or rather, I have gone on and on)....but you probably don't want to listen to a crazy person rant about how much she hated a debate you didn't see. So instead, here's a cute picture of George, peeking at me from beneath my office door. 

BTW Tobi the bunny votes Green (though she'd vote Vegan if there was a representative in our riding. She's a bit of an idealist). She simply can't get enough of May's cleverness and quick fact checking. Lego and George, ever the realists, vote NDP. It's the only thing the two see eye to eye on. Well, that and how much more delicious food tastes out of George's bowl.  

Don't forget to make sure you have the proper ID to vote in the upcoming election friends!

Happy Tuesday!

-J